It's been a slow news day, so I thought it would be a great time to point out some of the ridicule being directed toward the Illinois football program, both locally and nationally.
First off, Ron Zook made sportsline.com's no-so-hot list of coaches on the hot seat. Zook is listed as No. 4, behind Colorado's Dan Hawkins, Virginia's Al Groh and Louisville's Steve Kragthorpe. On the surface, it's hard to believe there are three coaches out there doing a worse job than Zook.
But then you have to consider that Hawkins has a quarterback controversy brewing involving his own kid. Never a good sign. Getting back to Illinois, sportsline.com indicates the 1-4 Illini "might be in danger of missing a bowl game." Ya think? Great analysis right there, guys.
Illinois also debuted in ESPN.com's Bottom 10 this week. The Illini check in at No. 10, but you figure they should be No. 10 with a bullet. Namely, the bullet that all of us Illinois alums want to put in our brains while watching this team. ESPN says of the Illini, "You're no fun anymore." True that, unless your idea of fun is being down three scores at halftime.
The Tribune's Rick Morrissey piled on this week, too. His reaction to the quarterback controversy involving Juice Williams and Eddie McGee: "Who really cares?" Further, Morrissey wrote, "Illini fans either want to dump Zook's lifeless body in a cornfield or find something more worthwhile to do with their Saturdays, such as competitive fingernail clipping."
That's true. It really isn't fun to follow Illinois football. Right now, I'm scheduled to attend the Halloween matchup against Michigan in Champaign. That game might be more scary than any haunted house you'll find. I'm not sure I really want to go. Why bother? It's a waste of time and money.
Zook still hasn't picked a quarterback for this week's game at Indiana. (Is it really that hard?) Given the choice between listening to a Ron Zook press conference or listening to Eiffel 65's "I'm Blue" all day, I think I'd go with Eiffel 65. The lyrics are more comprehensible than Zook's coachspeak and other gibberish.
I might "DA BA DE DA BA DIE!" if the Illini lose to Indiana on Saturday.
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