BY MIKE CETERA
They seemed like such nice people.
How many times have we heard these or similar words when tragedy strikes? It's a common refrain that expresses our disbelief that bad things can happen. But does such a simple comment also betray something about ourselves, that we really don't know who lives next door?
Some studies suggest Americans are becoming more isolated from one another. For example, in his 2000 book "Bowling Alone" Robert D. Putnam made the case that more and more we're relying less and less on one another. This is a bad thing, he argues.
In the Vaughn case, some neighbors suggested they had little more than a nod-and-a-wave type relationship with the husband, Chris Vaughn.
Work and family obligations often keep us from investing in our communities. We're less likely to know if our neighbors are in trouble. Americans are generally altruistic, but we cannot reach out to help if we haven't formed relationships. On the flip side, we can't go to our neighbors when we're in trouble if we don't know them.
Anecdotally, in every place I've lived as an adult, I couldn't identify a single neighbor by name. They all seem like nice people, though.
Wow, the lack of comments on this suggests even further disinterest than I suspected. I've been in Aurora for 10 years and, frankly, still feel like a "newbie" in the community with few bonds to the people around me. The original owner of our 28-year old home had in her files a list of all the then-neighbors on our block and the homes behind us - names, phone numbers, names of the kids. This once was a vibrant neighborhood with block parties and NEIGHBORS. When we moved in we were greeted immediately by our next-door neighbors, but as empty nesters, both have moved on. We greeted the new neighbors but got little reciprocation to our outreach. My husband runs the snowblower up the block in the winter, but we still get little more than a wave of thanks from the neighbors. It's a sad state. Growing up in Chicago we actually new the people on our block and spent time in their duplicate bungalows, so I don't think it's about urbanization. The indifference is sad.