Community forum on teen drinking

When kids drink, the chances for trouble are great. But teenagers want to rebel and there is peer pressure to drink. How can we create a culture so that kids don't want to drink?

How can we get parents of high school kids to realize the importance of true responsibility?

I think the thing that bugs me the most is that these children died because they were afraid to tell the parents the truth of what where we were going. I think this makes it so important for us to talk to other parents to colaborate stories our children are telling us.

FROM MIKE CETERA:

Welcome. Our experts are here and will begin answering questions shortly.

We are monitoring this site tonight for House Republican Leader Tom Cross who unfortunately has another obligation. Tom has a very concerned interest in tonight's forum and will be reviewing the blog tomorrow for ideas to consider legislatively.

Erika Wurst says: Hope everyone gets as much out of this as we're hoping to...

i like how the beacon blames it all on teens yes the teens where drinking but in the end who was the one who was drinking and driving the adult if it wasnt for the unresponsible adult the crash would have never happened stop blaming the teens because teens are gonna do what the have done for generations teens are gonna be teens its you the adults who need to recognize that it starts with you the adults that you guys set the examples its easy to put the blame on someone else when are all of you gonna recognize and stop being selfish and realize its the adults and not the teens so if u really wanna change something stop putting the blame on them and put it on you besides if the adult that night would of set the right example what kind of adult who has two of her own kids packs a car full of kids that are not hers while she has doulbe the legal limit in her i ask you that?

Sara Moscato Howe responds: In terms of creating a culture where kids do not want to drink, this is a partnership between parents and students, supporting positive social norms that clearly define what is acceptable behavior among our youth. Parents need to speak up about their beliefs that underage drinking is unacceptable. A positive, drug-free environment starts in the home.

Sara Moscato Howe responds: We are very appreciative of Minority Leader Cross' interest in this important issue and welcome your feedback and suggestions for future legislation.

my boyfriend was talking, and he said he would get yelled at if he posted, but the thing that makes him most mad is that kids who ARE going to drink, are too afraid to call home. We all understand that it is something "most" teens will face (regardless of what some parents think) and being open-minded about the situation lets kids decide for themselves the decisions they will make...

When are the Oswego police going to step up and bust these parties that contune to happen every weekend?

Dana Aikens responds: All choices have potential benefits or consequences. Every choice that a person makes can have a negative or positive impact on your future. When making a decision, we suggest asking yourself three questions:
1 - Is there harm or danger involved?
2 - Is it worth it?
3 - What would the people who love you think about the decision you are about to make?

It has to start with the parents of teenagers. Why do parents feel that they have to entertain their kids by letting them serv alcohol at home parties saying they won't let the kids dive if they drink. It not only is breaking the law, it can be deadly. Whoever supplied the alcohol must be made accountable. Whoever supplied the alcohol last Feb. was never charged. The community should ask the police chief and states attorney why not. The kids that survived should not have been given a pass. Yes, they went through a lot, but I think the very least punishment should have been community service. Open discussion should go on in school from jr. high on up. When I was growing up in the 60's we had a
couple of dance halls that we could go to on Friday night.

I don't think the beacon is blaming it on teens at all.I think this is an outreach to the adults and leaders of the community to "step up" and have a conversation about the issue. think that everyone was a kid once,whether perfect or not, and that getting yelled at by mom and dad should not be as life-threatening to kids as getting in a car with someone who has been drinking when in dire need. food for thought.

FROM MIKE CETERA:

This was posted on another blog entry. But it's certainly appropriate here --

I am a grandmother of a 15 year old freshman at Oswego High School, and I along with their have told him that if he is ever in a situation where he is somewhere he is not supposed to be to call us no matter what time and we will pick him up. I understand that some of the teens last year were not where they were supposed to be for the evening and when it came time to go home they needed a ride home. Why did they get into the car with that young lady? I understand that she had a sister that was at the party and that she came to pick up her sister. Yet her sister did not get into the car, but all the rest of the kids did.
Maybe we should start a program where the kids can call someone to take them home if they need a ride. I am not saying we expect that they are drinking, but we have to be realistic and know that these kids are under a lot of peer pressure, moreso that I ever was at that age. Come on lets put our heads together and try to help these kids out for their sake and for ours.

Dr. Stutz responds: Currently the Oswego police Department participates in the STATT program in which parents can contact the Oswego Police and police will come to visit with the purpose of working with the parents and teen to place the teen in treatment.

I think more parents that not only supply, but the ones who own the home where the party is being held should also face some kind of punnishment. they havent said anything that has happened to the people who had the home where the party was held. they just keep showing the pictures of the house.

Big Brother, I think your anger is very misplaced. Yes, adults do need to set examples, but there are several positive adult role models even outside the home. There is a double fault in this situation, your correct, but no one told those kids they had to get in the car, they CHOSE to get in the car even with someone who was drinking because they made a CHOICE to LIE to thier parents and didn't think the entire night thru as to how they would get home or where they would stay. Unfortunately because they didn't have a place to go they made a bad choice to get in the car. I agree the driver is at fault, making a really BAD choice to allow young kids to get in when she was drinking also.
I don't think this should be about blame on teens or adults....
A simple example of this is just because a parent smokes doesn't mean a kid has to smoke, I set several good examples for my teens, they have a choice to mimick the good and the bad.

Perhaps it is wrong to blame the teenagers as suggested by a teen. I recognize that teens will make mistakes as we did in our teen years. A responsible adult solution may be to use the Residential Trespass Agreement that is available from the Kendall County Sheriff's Department. The basic answer is to create a fear for teenagers that the party can be busted by an officer who has approval from the resident adults for entry, investigation, and arrest of any person breaking the law at a home. Serious adult neighbors frequently can see what is happening in their neighborhood and reports will help our police keep children from harming themselves, us, and friends.

Keith Kuhn responds: Most parents would rather their teen call a cab, a friend, or use some other safe alternative rather than get behind the wheel intoxicated.

We as adults show are kids right from wrong. But it takes an entire community to raise these kids. WE all need to step up and alert the authorites of any and all parties. We have called numerous times to report such activity and it still contunies to happen. Our persistance will prevail over this laided back attutude by our police chief and town leaders have. We are all worried about the empty schools we built and not the future of these students who will attend them.e a community MUST SAY ENOUGH!

What this all comes down to is communication and trust between teens and parents. I think we have to stop living like ostrichs and get our heads out of the sand. Kids are going to drink, I apologize but it is the hard truth. The difference is educating the kids. We can teach until we are blue in the face not to drink and drive, but it is not working. We can try to prevent by having harder rules/laws but it doesn't work, if it did then how come we had 22 more arrests 6 months after the accident? What we have to do is be proactive and explain to them that you know they are going to "experiment" and try things. What we have to do is open the communication and let them know that they should be able to tell is what they are going to do, feel comfortable to call their parents at odd hours of the night to pick them up. What it comes down to is an understanding and sense of feeling comfortable to tell your parents you are going to drink and may need a ride home or stay at a persons house. I truly belief any one who was affected by the accident would do situations differently...I feel the parents would rather have wanted a call from their kids that night than to have to deal with the outcome they had.
Think about this for a minute before you get upset, we have been "preaching" abstinence for years but it is not working, kids are still having sex. Just checking myspace confirms this because many of the teens on there are saying they are pregnant. Why is this? Again all we practice is abstinence and not protection.
Keep in mind the more you tell teens no, the more appealing something is. Great example telling a child to stay away from the cookie jar, all the kid thinks about is the cookie in the jar and how to get it!

Angela Halvorson responds: It isn’t about blaming anyone. What is important is that both youth and adults recognize that this is a problem that can only be solved when youth and adults work together to address this issue. Everyone in the community is affected when there is a loss of life or even severe injuries. Both adults and youth should set the example and accept responsibility for their actions. When something like the Oswego accident affects a community, it is easy to point fingers and look for somewhere to place blame. This doesn’t resolve the issue and will not keep youth and adults safe in the future. Instead working together to resolve the problems is what will help prevent terrible accidents like this from happening. Being open and honest about the issue is also important. Underage drinking is not easy for adults or youth to talk about, but not talk about it will allow the issue to continue.

Bill Small, what is a Residential trespass agreement?

I remember when I was back in high school, the school distributed a contract that was supposed to be signed by the parent and child. The contract was regarding alcohol consumption by minors. The contract had a number of points, however the one I remember was that the parent agreed to pick up the child if the child called needing transportation because the child had been drinking. The parent further agreed that he/she would not discuss the incident with the child until the next day. Do they still have those "contracts?" At the very least, I remember it was an easy way to open up a discussion about underage drinking between parents and their children.

Hey Kathy Whelan do you believe that community service is the answer? These surviors have had to learn to rewalk and care for them selves like they where babies again. Until you have walked a mile in their shoes let us not stand on the side on the road and judge. Maybe getting out and seeing these kids after this crash would have changed your mind. And possiably given you a HEART! My God Bless you soul.

Keith Kuhn responds: It is important for parents to assist teens with being able to make informed decisions, as previously mentioned. Weighing cost and benefit is important and applies to theuse of alcohol as well. Honest conversations need to occur between parents and teens because we know scare tactics don't work well.

I believe that before anyone points fingers they better have their facts straight.So the best question that i have for the finger pointers is since the terrible accident what have you done to help the youth in our town? Lets be positive and move forward and get involved!

The hard truth is NOT that kids are going to drink. Rather, that is the perception that becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Social norms statistics prove that fact. The question that should be asked is "why are kids drinking? Why do they feel the need to include alcohol and intoxication as a part of their social entertainment?" In the answer to that question, lies the resolution to the problem. Drinking is not a right of passage to adulthood nor is it just something that they are all going to do.

For the experts, How would you suggest parents go about talking to other parents who allow drinking to go on at their houses? How do you get parents on the same page, when some feel it's okay to have their teens drink and other parents may not?

TEENS: IF YOU'RE ON HERE
Okay, good point to recall is that EVERYONE on this blog has done something they weren't supposed to once upon a time...the thing is, we are here to write about it. These five kids aren't. What we have to do is imagine what they would be saying right now, and that is, "I wish I would have called my Mom." "I wish that I would have just thrown in the towel and called home." But they can't say that...so to every one of you that does go out, gets tipsy, and needs a ride, JUST CALL. Being grounded for a week will save your family and community from turmoil, and will make yout think twice about getting into the same situation.

I have a question for the panel, I'd like each of your thoughts... I am very good at communitcating with my kids, I think they would probably call me even if they would get in trouble, at least now, because we have talked about this so much. Sadly, there are parents out there who unfortunately really don't spend time with their kids talking about this or the kids would suffer greatly with physical abuse if they were caught... So in that case panel, if you receive a call from a childs friend that they are drunk and need a ride, they say they can't call home, do you recommend that we pick them up with the provision that in the morning "we" will go talk to the parents?

Keith Kuhn Comments: Alex, I would go and pick up that teen without the provision of talking to the parents, but would encourage them to agree to that while on the way home. Why? That teen is already intoxicated and public safety is now the primary responsibility.

Until we prove to these kids that all the laws are for everyone we haven't drawn a line in the sand. These kids here about how this person whose knows someone can get them out of this or that because he or she knows someone, sends them the signal that why don't I try my chances. Our society has two sets of laws for those on the in, and those not. When they here about how things can be taken care of, then the chance of beating the system will always be challenged. Just after the tragic event in Oswego one of the Fire Chiefs was in the paper for D.W.I. in Dekalb county. I guess you can tell what happened to that one. He's still a Chief. And I bet it got swept right under the rug. One of Oswegos police men had a problem years ago and Chief Baird got rid of him which was the right thing to do. Once again we teach the old saying, do as I say, and not what I do.

As part of the Safe Homes project, parents sign a pledge that they will not tolerate drinking in their homes. The names of the parents are shared as part of a parent network so the parents can commuicate, provide support to one another, and monitor the behavior of their children.

Okay here is a problem once again we are looking at it as "perception" that your kids/teens are not going to drink. TRULY EVERYONE MUST WAKE UP!!!!! Think back to when you were a teen or now, have you never had a drink? At that age you think you are invincible, I can truly say I had to be about 20 when I realized I wasn't. As a teen though my parents and I were open about drinking and they made me feel comfortable to let them know that if I was going to drink I could call them or stay at the persons house. I am 29 now and I still live by that!
We will never get anything solved or learned from this if we as parents can not wake up and belief that our kids COULD possibly be out there drinking, don't ever think, "not my kid", when you think that is when you may get a phone call.

As part of the Safe Homes project, parents sign a pledge that they will not tolerate drinking in their homes. The names of the parents are shared as part of a parent network so the parents can commuicate, provide support to one another, and monitor the behavior of their children.

FROM MIKE CETERA:

Dr. Stutz has provided a document outlining what Kendall County authorities are doing to combat underage drinking. Find it here.

Dr. Stutz Responds: Coming from one parent to another I would approach the parent and let them know that my child is not allowed drink and it is illegal. I would ask that they support this decision and assist me in not exposing my child to alcohol.

While I understand the concern about addressing other parents who CHOOSE to allow their teens and others to drink in their home, at some point choice is gone. Bottom line underage drinking is illegal, dangerous and can and does result in the loss of life. It is important to set the standard for youth that the law is the law. It is illegal to allow underage youth to drink. Period. Adults who allow underage drinking must be held accountable for breaking the law.

Here is another example of stupidty on our behalf. One of the starting players for the Oswego football team was arrested and taking to Kendall Count Jail, and had to be bailed out for underage drinking. Guess what happened to him. A few game suspension and back on the field. Because we have to have him for the team. Once again he was arrested, and was allowed to play after a few game suspension. What signal did the school district send to the students in this town. That the team is more important.

I am Matthew Franks mom, the list is so long of things that need to change but firt i want to comment on the headlines "Its clear parents need to step up" well so do many others i agree with the parents, i take balme for that night i was Matts mom and it was my job to keep him safe and i failed and because of that my son died but the police need step it up i picked up Matthews friend for underag e drinking and on the ticket listed the house where the alcohol was provided and they did NOTHING to the people who owned the house and i know for a fact these parents have provided teens alcohol on several occassions. Also Judges need to give harsher sentences for drunk driving instead of slaps on the wrist. If you read the stories in the AIMES and MADD book everyone of these people whos stories are told get almost no time or little. It should be a world wide slogan you want to kill someone and get away with it have a few beers and get behind the wheel of a vehicle it only is one of the # 1 killers but nothing is ever done to put a stop to it!

Keith Kuhn comments: Underage drinking is illegal. I don't know that a conversation needs to be had with a parent in a situation where they are allowing a party to occur in their home with drinking. There is a social responsibility to notify the authorities at that point. The resulting loss of lives is a perfect example of why it is so important for us to take action as individuals and as a community.

Alex, I think your "we will talk to your parents" the next day is a great idea. I had a similar situation a number of years ago when my niece was arrested and she called me for the fear of her parents. Little did she know when I picked her up "we" were going to tell her parents. I think it helped both sides to have someone else involved!

Someone asked what is a Residential Trespass Agreement? It is a form that must be signed by the occupant/owner of a residence. It is filed with the local police. When a responsible neighbor calls the police and reports a party, the police go to the residence and request admittance as stated in the signed agreement. A problem persists for the police. Teens know that they do not have to unlock a door. Part of the plan must include leaving a door key with the responsible neighbor. When the teens refuse to unlock and open the door, the officer has a key for entry. The purpose of the plan is to create a fear for teens that us old fogies are fighting back. We must accept the fact that teens will make mistakes as did we. The fear for the teens is that they may be attending a party at a home which has a Residential Trespass Agreement in place. The owner gives the police permission to Trespass at the residence when they are away and an unauthorized party is underway. The idea came from Wisconsin and I heard about it from former States Attorney (now Judge) Tim McCann. I received the forms from Kendall County Officer Rick Pearson after I called and emailed Patrol Sergeant Michael Simms msimms@co.kendall.il.us or 630-553-7500.

Dr. Stutz thank you for showing this plan. But I will ask I see nothing where our town is involved in it. Other than from a county directive. How do we bring these policies to the students and parents of Oswego schools.

Also these newspaper article make this crash look like it was the teens fault. They were not behind the wheel a 23 year old=adult was. It pathetic that there are allowances for 4th and 5th offenses for DUI. IT should NEVER get that far!

Here is another food for thought... how come we have some much trouble and issues w/ underage drinking? Notice that other countries that don't have the laws and regulations that we do and don't have the issues and problems we have. I am not promoting underage drinking like some may think, I am being realistic that under age drinking is happening.

keith even if the authorities are notified they DONT always do something about it.

I feel that parents need to pay a little more attention to who their children are hanging with and also set better examples, but also when these children do get into trouble that rather than slapping them on the hands that they be given stricter punishments, so we quit having the repeat offenders in both the juvenile court systems but also the adult court systems. Look at home many times we read about repeat offenders especially with DUI's, even when they have no license they are still driving. It is also a shame that the world just wants to comtinue to blame others when sometimes the problems are right under their own nose.

To answer your question you as a parent may allow your child to drink within your home with some restrictions. First no to the level that is deemed to be dangerous to the health of the child, second they may not leave the residence until they are not deemed not under the influence of alcohol. This is mainly for religious purposes. Their is no law in Illinois that states it is illegal for a parent to serve thier child alcohol in thier own home. It must be their child, they may not serve other children even if the other child's parent grants permission.

Thank you Lisa,
And Mrs Frank, I'm very very sorry for your loss! I hope as a community we can do something to honor them through this.

Dr. Stutz Responds: Currently the Oswego School District is working on a grant from the Federal Government to address the underage drinking issue to implement curriculum in conjuction with the police department, hire a community organize to mobilze change with the development of community policy, and work with our health and human service agencies to work with families and treatment. We will be asking our legislators to adopt legislation to implement a requirement in which parents must attend a meeting on Teenage, Drinking and the law before a student can get their driving permit. If we get the grant, we will create a task force in conjuction with the Kendall County Network project to implement change across all domains of public entities.

The Oswego Police Department has trespass agreements, my neighbor used one when they were out of town, it worked good.

Joan Leigh from the Education Service Network comments that the Kendall County Network Project is sponsoring a Town Hall Meeting on Underage Drinking at 5:30 p.m. on Friday, April 4, 2008 in Plano (location to be announced). If you are interested in attending, please email Devin Bates at dbates@kendall.k12.il.us

Local law enforcement agencies and the courts must enforce the existing DUI laws. Additionally, Illinois must ensure stricter legislation addressing repeat DUI offenders.

So what do you say everyone lets get together at the high school with anyone who does care and come up with a plan to help the kids!

It seems that a continuation of viewing underage drinking as a law enforcement problem is not going to be productive. A great many of the comments seem to suggest that involving law enforcement and harsher penalties will solve things. But, isn't fear of punishment what leads many kids to not contact parents or other adults when they might really need their help?

teen drinking, its hard to control this when parents don't stick together. There was 8 kids that makes a minimun of 16 parents but alot of parents will lie for their kids and their kids friends and that makes it hard to trust. Not to mention the way teenagers are treated by adults and police as if their presence is a nussance.

Hi! I just found out about this so i'm sorry that i'm late to all of this. I was a senior at OHS last year when this happened. My younger sister is a sophmore and i have known the Dillion family for years. All i can say on the issue of underage drinking is that no matter what we do, no matter who dies, people are going to be stupid. They are going to continue to think that these things can not happen to them and there is nothing that we can do to change that stupidity. I have friends who have been in drunk driving crashes and they still drive drunk. I have offered to be a Designated Driver for friends who have turned me down only to drive drunk later that night. From what i understand, the students who died have friends that are drinking and driving in their honor alomst every weekend. If that isn't stupid, i don't know what is. What can we do to combat this? who knows? If a dead friend doesn't send a message, i'm sure that a school or a parent isn't going to. I'm sorry to sound so rude about the whole topic, but as a teenager myself, this is what i have noticed in the year since the crash.

Devin Bates Responds: It is important to highlight the importance of accountablility of the parents toward their teens. Looking at the driver's education program, parents really have an important chance to talk to their teens about drinking and driving. Parents should be mandated to attend a meeting with their teen before they are allowed to graduate from their dirver's education course. This would help educate parents on laws, and safety issues surrounding teens and drinking. During these meetings parents would be able to ask questions about drinking and teen partying which would enduce the conversation between the parents and teens.

And why is it that even after the police our called that nothing is done? I pose this questuion to all on line right now. We must pull togeather and fight back for these kids who died.

Every country, county, city and village has a problem with drinking...it's not just lowly "Oswego", okay? The problem is communication, which noone seems to have. I'm so glad that this is happening, and that teens can finally see that their parents aren't out to get them, or disown them if they get in a situation they aren't too proud of.

With all due respect Alex, I am not sure why the kids who died in that accident should be honored. To me it seems the height of irony that there would be any recognition other than as a senseless loss of life.

Shelly Musser responds: We also need to recognize that 'an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.' The State of Illinois' operating budget this year was $49 billion dollars. By way of comparison, the states spend only $6 million on substance abuse prevention programming to reach all youth across the state. That expenditure is less than one half of one percent of all spending in Illinois. If we are to truly reach every youth, funding must be increased!

I'm actually MRS DWYER, i want to add one more thing IF you want to get through to kids you CAN'T start out by bashing their dead friends they won't even hear what you are saying. I am shocked as to how much drinking there is going on with these teens and i would LOVE to work on a solution

Dr. Stutz repsonds: It is my best hope that we continue to address Oswego community. We have started at the County Level and it is our best hope that we will narrow the focus with a community focus. The plans are in the works. It takes dollars to pull this together. I will continue to work as hard as I can to get community involvement and support from all domains and public entities. This blog is a start... the grant is a start and our efforts will continue..

To Matt's Mom, you are so right we need to quit just slapping people on the wrists and open up peoples eyes. I am behind you one hundred percent Too many of these things continue to happen and just get brushed under the rug

Come on everybody lets have the meeting!

Come on everybody lets have the meeting!

The city of Plano is going to conduct a project sticker shock which is a program that targets adults who buy alcohol for underage kids. The program will work with liquor stores and gas station to put warning stickers on alcohol cases stating that it is illegal to buy alcohol for persons under the age of 21. The sticker will also show consequences for buying alcohol for persons underage teens. This program will run during the prom month.

I think we have to get back to the basics of thinking "it takes a Village . . . ". Everyone is SO afraid of saying something about a child to another parent. When I was younger (which in all honesty was NOT that long ago) if we did something wrong we were either corrected by the adult who was present and they told our parents (double whammy). Why are we all afraid to "butt-in"??

wow, this was certainly an excellent start! I hope that we all encourage our children to read an comment, and to honestly start a discussion about how to resolve this ongoing problem. This could be the start of something great.

To Dr. Stutz,
The Oswego Police Chief is Dwight Baird. When I spoke with Dwight approximately two weeks after the crash, he was familiar with the Residential Trespass Agreement. Bringing it to the parents will require community involvement through parent organizations. I also recommended it to the Youth Pastor at Oswego Presbyterian Church (Sam). A lot of teens were at OPC moruning the loss of their friends. Sam didn't follow up with a letter to the teens or their parents. I believe that we are establishing a form of mental warfare on the teens. The purpose is not to punish the teens or the parents. If the teens hear about a few instances of Residential Trespass Agreements, I believe that it will become a deterrent to having a party when parents are away. The neighbor idea is an add-on that creates a big "if" as in "What if the nosey neighbors have a key to our party house and call the police to report a lot of cars parked in the neighborhood, noise, squealing tires, etc."

anonymous if we are going to have meeting we need the police chief and the mayor. These are the people we elected and they need to answer for our concerns.

Tom, your right, honor was the wrong word, but rather I hope their deaths were not in vein. I hope we can come up with some solutions that will help use these senseless losses to save lives.
What was the outcome with the driver? Has she been sentanced?

A response to Shelly Muser's posting: Can I infer from your comment that you consider teenagers who drink alcohol to be substance abusers? Can a teenager use alcohol and other drugs without being an abuser? Should drug education programs be abstinence only programs as most are for sex education?

I don't think most schools do enough when students get arrested for drinking. There should be more serious consequences. All high schools in Illinois should adopt the same rules, or strategies. Besides more participation in Operation Snowballs, there should be some mentoring with local businesses, churches, Y's, etc. to sponsor/host supervised events for their students to attend/participate in. More parents need to know where their kids are. That should be a very high priority of any parent. No alcohol or part-alcoholic drinks should ever be sold to minors. Parents need to be held more responsible for not only their own kids, but also any under-age person who comes into their home, or vehicle, or club, or business place. Parents should "buddy-up" with other parents to become a little more "in the know" of events/happenings in the area. More parents should support IAADDA, OS, ITI, SADD, MADD, ILCAAP, etc. with their time and their money. Get to know your kids' friends. Be honest, open, and loving parents.

A thought for driver education... I don't remember what the program is and I am sure it is expensive but they have a "virtual" situation that you put on goggles and you have to drive impaired. From what I understand you put the goggles on and try to drive, then afterwards you are able to take the goggles off and see how you drove and puts things in perspective that it does not take much to impair judgement. This could be one of the steps to helping teens learn.

I have to agree that the more laws and regulations against teens will make them more acceptable not to ask/call for help when needed.

Matts mom is correct with needing stricter laws for repeat DUI offenders!

I really think that adults need to think twice about drinking and driving too. On a weekly basis, there is maybe one underage DUI arrest but 3 or 4 adults doing the same thing. Why aren't we focusing on the example adults are setting? Does anyone remember that Ms. Vasquez was an ADULT? She offered to give those kids a ride home. She should have known not to drink and drive, but she did it anyway. And from what i read in the reports almost of of the kids involved had a lower BAC than she did. I find it quite interesting that children who thought they were getting a safe ride home probably would have been in better shape if they would have just driven themselves. It's pathetic that we are placing all the blame on teens when adults need to take a step back and see what problems they are causing as well.

FROM MIKE CETERA:

I want to thank everyone who participated in getting this conversation started tonight. We hope it is just the start of something that will help our communities.

The panel we assembled will answer as many of the questions posed tonight as they can. They will post their responses to questions they didn't get to tonight in the coming days.

Meanwhile, please keep this conversation going. It's important to note that lawmakers, students, parents and educators are all reading this, which means what you have to say is reaching a variety of people.

Thanks again.

things are being mixed up so whoever is running this there are posts under my name from a teenage girl and i am comming up annonomys and times on posts are in correct causing confusion

I think we need to listen much more carefully to those who have recently lived through the period of adolescence and can reflect on it with some degree of recency. One such person posted anonymously at 8:59 PM and who said "from what i understand, the students who died have friends that are drinking and driving in their honor alomst every weekend." The poster referred to it as stupid, but what motivates such behavior>

heres a thought maybe if there were stiffer consequences for actions such as drinking and driving or teen drinking maybe the message of tolerance will get out. Money paid for a fine doesn't teach a teen anything because most of the time the parents are the one to pay it why not have them sit in on a impact pannel

i think some parents who let their kids and their friends drink might think twice about it if there was more punnishment for it. same thing with thr dui's. give more and harder punnishments and mayber people would be afraid to break the laws. what punnishment did the people at the house in boulder hill receive?

Motivation = teenage boredom

My staff and I are always looking to establish new partenerships with parents and schools to save lives. I would be willing to attend meetings to share ideas and listen. Working together is the only way to have an impact.

Does anyone know what the outcome was with the driver?

The people who own the house and the renters who occupied it. Got no tickets aor no media coverage to identify them. And i ask why. This is another great question for our town leaders.

Tom - does it have to be a behavior. Think back to when you were a teen, one of the things you wanted was to be an adult and treated like an adult. Teens feel that if they smoke or drink they are "cool." Some feel that this is the beginning of being an adult. Yes it sounds dumb but why did some of us adults do it when we were teens? To rebel, to fit in, to feel like an adult. People we may be older but we can't FORGET what it was like when we were teens.

Boredom is a poor excuse. I'm sure I was bored at some point as a teenager and I didn't turn to underage drinking.

Hi. my name is Amanda i am the one whose posts were showing up as anonyomus. I'm sorry Matt's mom if anything i said was incorrect, i am just sticking to what i have heard and observed at OHS. I have heard that there are students who were friends of teh victims who have been drinking and driving on a regular basis. As for your question Tom, i have no idea what motivates this behaivor. Even though i wasn't god friends with any of these students i can not even be in the same room as a person who thinks it is ok to drink and drive. Teenagers do not only need motivation behind their behaivor, sometimes they would rather do somethin, just because they can. That is my best insight into anyone who is still drinking and driving. They either just say, "screw what happened, i'll still do whatever i want" or they are just too thich headed to realize that what they are doing is a life threat to them and the others on the road.

Chief Baird thank you for attending. Where and when are the meetings going to be?

If everyone who has ever driven drunk were put into prison for ten years, then there would not be a drunk driving problem. But, then many of us would not be online tonight participating in this forum...we'd be in prision. The answer is not law enforcement.

acording to the beacon news reports, she might stand trial next year

Do you really feel people will think twice if there is more punishment w/ parents and teens? This is only a bandaid, we as a community have to look at why and open communcation. We have punishment but yet there is still teenage parties and drinking and driving. Look at it as a teenager's perspective on the punishment. What punishment do you feel would be strong enough to have a teen think twice?

Devin Bates: I agree, penalties need to be more strict for teens who drink. I am glad that parents understand it is important to act as good role models for their teens. Talk to your kids and encourage them to make responsible decisions.

The problem is there is no way to catch every single person who is on the road drunk, but i do agree that the consequences should be much tougher. For both adults and children. Jail the first time is my thought and rehab for kids under 18. You have to discourage the behavior somehow and obviously death isn't making much of an impact

Anonymous 63, I try and always participate in community events, this is my first blog. I would be willing to speak with Village and School Officials in an effort to arrange a community meeting.

As a teen i think that the death of a friend would be enough to keep you from drinking and driving. But i really don't know if there is any way to keep kids from drinking. I understand that underage drinking is wrong, but honestly, if you are all spending the night in a safe place and not driving, i think we should at least give those kids credit for making half of a good decison

Good night to all. Let keep the lines of commuication open. I will watch for a posting on the meeting. I what to help if given the right tools. My god bless the families of these kids that lost their lives in this tragic crash. And may he give the surviors the chance to step up and share with there peers.

To what degree do some kids look up to those who died in this accident? Are there kids who are envious of the recognition the five dead children have received? Look at the photo at the heading of this blog... is this a form of honor as one of the posters mentioned earlier? Is it psychologically healthy to allow these public displays?

Thank you Chief I will keep an eye on the future postings. But the sad part is I was at 2 of the community events and the one at OHS was from Binge to Blackout was attended by 26 people. And that is sad. That room holds at least 600 people and that is if we could get people to come. Maybe this needs to be come a forum for a kicking off the school year. I am excited to seee what comes of it.

Substance use is not always abuse but if a teen is drinking alcohol they are engaging in illegal behavior. What a teen may not realize is that addiction begins with experimentation. That is the first step. No one ever begins drinking with the intention of becoming an alcoholic and yet alcoholism is rampant among adolescents and occurs much more quickly than with an adult. Do some research on the effects of alcohol on the adolescent brain. Drug education programs should be abstinence programs. Drug use is illegal. Use 'wise' highs. Life can and should be enjoyed naturally.

My question is why are the parents filing lawsuits for the love and companionship they are missing not having their child that that was out way pass curfew under sub zero temperture. Loving parents make sure where their kids are and make sure they are home before curfew, there are curfew on weekends too. Loving parent is always caring for their kids no matter what age they are. Parents that lose control and respect from the kids need to seek help right away and there many places for that.

Elida- I think what you stated about the curfew is ignorant. Think about it the parents may not have known their kids were out because they told their parents they were staying the night some where. Are you still a teen or an adult? Did you every lie about where you were going when you were a teen? I am sure you have and did not think of "what could have happened" What it comes down to was choices and all though I am sure many would like to turn back time we can't. We have to look toward the future and find resolutions.
Also my guess is that you are not a parent yet, and if you are I can guarantee that you do not know 100% of the time where your kid is!

Anyone under age 21 who drinks alcohol is breaking the law whether it's in their own home or in a car or in someone else's home. Discipline and training of a child should begin at about age 2 with the word "no" and progress appropriately for the age of a child throughout the teenage years. Anything that is against the law is not acceptable and children should be taught about consequences throughout those same years. I believe that if a child is taught by the parents what's acceptable and unacceptable behavior during the first 18 years of life and they learn to take responsibility for their actions and to accept consequences, it would be a good start at raising awareness and accountability. Our job, as parents, is not to be friends of our children, but to teach them to be responsible and productive adults and to encourage them to be the best they can be. It's a huge job, but worth every minute. Just imagine what our world would be like if every child was the best they could be and used their natural talents, strengths and gifts for the good of our communities. It would be awesome!

If one of the local fire chief's got arrested for D.U.I around the same time as the accident. And what happened to him nothing. so how can we sit here and tell our kids to lead by example. and also is a D.U.I without an accident or fatalities less of a D.U.I. with one.If you drive a vechile for a living and get a D.U.I. your fired. Not Chief Brady

I have an idea...it will be a harsh but true reality. Do a survey in the schools on a blank scan tron sheet. Ask questions like have you ever drank? Did your parents know about it? Do you feel that harder laws will stop you from going to parties and drinking? Did your parents talk to you after the accident about drinking and driving? Since the accident do you feel comfortable enough to call a parent to pick you up if you have been drinking? Questions along these lines.
Then have a survey for all the parents..they can do this on line,mail,phone,other ways. Ask the questions...did you talk to your kids about drinking and driving before the accident? Did you talk to your kids about it after the accident? Do you think your kids are drinking? Do you think your kids would call you if they were to be picked up? Again go w/ the same type of questions.
Remember you can always hire an outside company to perform these surveys to keep people anonymous.
Yes you will get some that wont take this serious, you will get some that lie on this...but in the end I think this is where we as parents will wake up and see the cold hard truth how much is going on out their and we don't know about it!

As someone who has two teenagers who have chosen not to drink (even the one who is a sophomore in college has stuck with that decision,) I wish I had been able to participate in this last night.

I am a firm believer that parents can be a major factor in educating their children on this issue, but it needs to start when they are young. We started these discussions before the kids were even in school, in age appropriate ways. We did have some family situations that contributed to their choices also. My son is named after my brother. My brother was killed by a drunk driver on his way home from basketball practice in 1972. Both my kids have grown up knowing that they had an uncle they never met. They were told stories about him so they know what a tragedy this was for us. Their paternal grandfather was an alcoholic, who died from liver failure when they were 6 and 8. Due to these situations, they have grown up with the negative effects of alcohol discussed often.

They also grew up with parents who had a drink every once in a while, but never when driving and never to a point where anything would be impaired. If my husband had a beer out at dinner, I drove. If I had a margarita, he drove. At home, I never had more than one drink (still don't) and he never had more than 2 (still doesn't). They had parents who modeled appropriate behavior with alcohol: moderation, accompaniment to food, no driving afterwards.

I had one parent talk to me at one time about her daughter coming home drunk and not understanding how her daughter got to the point of making that decision. Yet the week before this same mother had been telling me about a neighborhood margarita party and how drunk she and other adults were at it. Yet she wondered where her daughter got the idea that it was ok to drink to excess? My daughter has told me about a few parents who actually buy the alcohol for their kids to drink.

Now that my son is in college, what does he see? Excessive behavior, and stupid choices being made with alcohol. This has reinforced for him that he is better off avoiding it. His first weekend at school, my son had been in his dorm room asleep when he got the call from others to meet a friend at the safe ride bus and make sure he got to his room ok. Unfortunately the kid was passed out in the bus when he got there and an ambulance had been called. He spent 6 hours in the emergency room that night, scared that his friend might not make it at one point. This year, he had a roommate for the first semester who was drunk every weekend. The kid threw up in the room many times, and even used the corner as a bathroom. One evening he woke up to find the kid had disappeared. Worried, he went to look for him, only to find him outside on a bench, in only his underwear, doing things to himself. Thank goodness he was able to get out of that situation for the second semester. What he has seen at college has served to reinforce the conversations we started when he was quite young. He may actually make the choice to refrain from alcohol even after he turns 21, who knows.

My daughter has heard her brother talk about all of this, has heard other kids her age discuss how "they were so drunk they can't remember what happened last weekend," that she is sticking with her choice also. She doesn't understand how this is attractive to do.

So while community efforts are needed, these discussions still need to start at home, at a young age, through words and example. We need to counteract this whole "all teenagers are going to do this" attitude that so many people have. My kids' group of closest friends do not do this. Let's hold those kids up as examples. Our house is often full of teenagers, just hanging out, without alcohol. Open your houses to your kids and their friends, but make it clear that underage drinking will not be tolerated in your home. Give the kids a place to hang out and have fun in good clean ways.

hey anonymous63 you were upset because someone said the survivors should have gotten community service. They suffered greatly, but they still broke the law. The driver also made a bad choice and she was hurt very badly as well, should she be able to get off w/no criminal charges?

As a mother of a 22 year old son who was killed in an accident when he decided to take a ride from a "friend" who had 5 prior DUI's, I really have to say that even at that age, people never think anything could happen to them. Until it does, you never believe it will be you. Another person was also killed, and the driver of this car has never been charged, and is probably still out driving drunk. Fortunately for him, his parents bailed him out, and now he is alive and many lives have been desrtoyed by this. Until drunk driving has some real consequences and can't be "bought off" by large sums of money and defense, the carnage will continue. Oh, yes, by the way, the person who was driving the car my son was killed in has never even tried to tell us what happened, and claims that my son was his best friend. Talk about a society that has no morals, no souls actually.

I agree with k and would like to add my thoughts on what she said. Stop the blaming. Personal accountability for all is the only way to stop minors from drinking. Parents, schools, churches, and communities all have a stake in assuring safety for all. And each of these groups must reassess their standards immediatley if we want to avert more tradgedies like this. The examples we set and what kids are exposed to in their formative years (Before High School) set the stage for how they will re-act in a given situation. Each one of the people involved in that terrible crash made their own series of bad decisions that will impact hundreds of people for a generation or more. But more important than trying to assess blame we have to dig into the reasoning these young people used in determing that climbing into that car at that time was a good idea. We all have our priorities and I submit to everyone on this blog that always and everywhere one of our top priorities is to have fun! Our kids pick up on this in everything they see us do and hear us say. How many times do 5, 6, 7, year old kids see adults having "fun" with alcohol being a primary ingredient. I say if young kids are present leave the beer in the refrigerator and have a good time anyway! Save the drinking for after they go to bed. But our selfish nature kicks in and there is no way we can go to the beach, have a 4th of July party or a Chrismas Eve gathering without drinking and we're all laughing and having a great time. The kids see it and as time goes on they have this formula imprinted on their brains: Alcohol + Friends = Fun! Grow up and think of them instead of ourselves. Again I'm not blaming anyone, I do all of these things myself, but we (me included) must start facing reality. It's to late by the time the kids are 14 - 18 years old, they have already been indoctrinated into a world where social gatherings must include drinking. By that point, short of locking them in, all we can do is to try to make sure that they and everyone they come in contact with are capable of using good judgement in any circumstance, and pray that they make it home whenever they go out.

I am sad that I didn't get to participate in this last night, but I do have some things to say. I graduated from OHS in '06. I was (and still am) not one to drink and go to parties, but unfortunately there are too many kids that do drink. Even sadder than that, there are adults that know about it. There are so many teachers at OHS that I remember saying " don't party too hard" or "make sure to have a DD" or even "I know there are a lot of parties going on, but make sure to study..." This should never happen. Teachers are trying so hard to be "cool" and be their student's friends that they don't report these things. Teachers, parents, social workers, janitors, principals, coaches, sunday school teachers, friends, EVERYONE needs to keep an eye out for these parties. I know of one of the survivors of the crash that is still drinking, doing drugs, and is kicked out of their house. Are people from Oswego learning? I say no, not at all. Teen's think it is cool to drink, we should make very harsh penalties for underage drinking. No more slaps on the wrist. there needs to be a big change, not only in Oswego.

Another thing...Is there anyway to have another live blog? possibly a weekend thing?

Hey anonymous,

Try standing there and watching one of these surviors scream because of the pain. And please tell me that you believe that community service is still the answer. These survivors would do much good talking to the kids in health class and at community events. I know one survivor for a fact that has spoke in many health classes and at youth groups to try and share the message. He lives with this guilt and tragic terror each and everyday, So I would pose to you to get in and help or just continue to stand on the side and be a judge. Talk is easy and the hard work starts when we stand up for what we believe in. What do you believe in ?

Anonymous63,

The kids at the party made a choice, the driver of the crash made a choice. Community service is a small price to pay for the choices that were made. It is good that someone's out look changed, but there is still a consequence that needs to be payed by all, not just some. I understand where you are coming from but what you are saying is, because the driver of the crash was injured and screamed in pain, yet now regrets what she did, she should not be punished. This isn't a one way street.

Becky,

Please let us remember who is the adult and who the child is. Are you a parent who has experenced this first hand would be my first question. And if you are please do not think you are any differant or better. Or maybe this will not happen to your family.I speak first hand on this subject. So walk in the shoes of someone who has been there and witnessed it. Before you are quick to judge. Please call Eric Weiss about this as he has the same views as most of us. Please let us remember this blog is to find a way to save our kids. And not point fingers. We are a warm and loving community let us ALL keep it that way!

I just don't understand why only adults have to be responsible for everything. I am not judging anyone or any situation. Like I said, "I understand where you are coming from." I don't understand why you are so angry and accusing me of pointing fingers. I am not pointing a finger at anyone. all I am saying is to make any judicial system work, there needs to be consistency, not a slap on the wrist for some and a jail cell for others. at the moment, I am NOT talking about the crash but any law breaking activity at all, murder, abuse, molestation ect. I apologize that I have obviously offended you, but it wasn't my intent. I was only speaking my opinion.

From Christine Moyer, Beacon News reporter

Here is a peak into a story that will run in Wednesday’s Beacon News concerning community leaders’ response to suggestions posted during the virtual town-hall meeting Monday.
- There is support for a town hall meeting, but leaders have not yet planned one.
- St. Anne Catholic Church in Oswego used to have a teen center, but closed it due to low attendance.
- Oswego Family YMCA hosts several programs for Oswego students in grades six through 10, but there are few programs available for juniors and seniors.
Some of these programs include:
Club Friday - A monthly event reserved for Oswego students in grade six through eight, which includes an open gym to play sports, a D. J., games and food. The next Club Friday event will be held from 7 p.m. to 9 p.m. on Feb. 22 at Traughber Junior High School.

Teen Night – A monthly event featuring sports, dancing and food for sixth through 10th graders at Aurora, Naperville and Oswego schools. The next Teen Night will be held from 8 p.m. to 10 p.m. on Feb. 16 at the Kroehler Family YMCA, located at 34 S. Washington St. in Naperville.

College Campus Trips – High school students can tour local colleges with the YMCA, which includes transportation, a guided tour of the campus and a presentation by the admissions advisor.

Ski/Snowboard trips – Students in grade six through 10 can travel with the YMCA to a local ski resort where they will spend the day on the slopes.

For more information on any of these events visit the Oswego Family YMCA’s Web site at www.heritageymca.org/oswego.php or call them at (630) 585-2207.

Posted by: Anonymous | February 11, 2008 09:46 PM
THIS IS A CORRECTION THIS WAS POSTED BY ELIDA ORTIZ
My question is why are the parents filing lawsuits for the love and companionship they are missing not having their child that that was out way pass curfew under sub zero temperture. Loving parents make sure where their kids are and make sure they are home before curfew, there are curfew on weekends too. Loving parent is always caring for their kids no matter what age they are. Parents that lose control and respect from the kids need to seek help right away and there many places for that.
Posted by: Elida Ortiz | February 11, 2008 10:05 PM

CORRECTION THIS MUST HAVE BEEN BY ANONYMOUS
Elida- I think what you stated about the curfew is ignorant. Think about it the parents may not have known their kids were out because they told their parents they were staying the night some where. Are you still a teen or an adult? Did you every lie about where you were going when you were a teen? I am sure you have and did not think of "what could have happened" What it comes down to was choices and all though I am sure many would like to turn back time we can't. We have to look toward the future and find resolutions.
Also my guess is that you are not a parent yet, and if you are I can guarantee that you do not know 100% of the time where your kid is!
--------------
I Elida Ortiz am writing you all back I am a Mom and have a husband we love our kids and we bless to have them, they went to school activities and they had a half hour to come home. We were always waiting for them and happy to hear about there night out. now they are married. My son graduated from Oswego High in 1991. The others graduated from Aurora. Again I say when kids begin to lie and lose respect to the parents, parents seek help it's never to late.
Elida Ortiz

Back in the day Oswego was a nice small town when every one knew everyone and if there was a party going on most parents knew about it and there use to be a price to pay when we found out.We have let our youth do what ever they want at a very young age.When my girls went to oswego high I remeber at that time there use to be a police officer named Vic Frantz and let me tell you he would take his dogs and go thru that school and sniff out drugs and other things the kids might have and it worked,sure there were parties but not to the extent that they are now.Parents need to get more involved,but most of them are to busy working.I cannot even believe that parents let there 14,15 year olds even going out and the parents are ok with it because teenagers are very convincing about what they will be doing and where they will be ,what ever happen to curfew thats a thing of the pass.I do not blame the parents but I do blame the person who had the party what were they thinking.Teenagers want to be grown up even at 14 and they watch adults drink at home and at other events and there parent are alive so in there mind its ok because my parents do it,my older sister does it so why cant I.They are children and they will fowell what there parents are doing and society.TV shows like spring break inplants drinking is ok and many other shows on Tv so the childen are getting mix siginals and they want to be all grown up at 14 all the way down to sex and drinking and drugs.I feel for parent of teens today I know its alot harder then it was when my girs were young.WE need to stop worring about what our new schools look like and go back to the day when school was for learning not looks.If these teens are doing this now I cant imagine what they will do when they go to college what will happen to then? I think that we should think like we did in the 70s and if your child and I mean Child gets in trouble they need to go to jail and spend a week there before any parent can bail them out,our youth has no fear because they know mom and dad will make it go away.Parents go back in time and you will see that a Month of grounding with out Cells,TV,Computers,Games,No Car and no contact with there friends only in school just might work,it work then and it might work now we just have to stay firm on are disapline and not give in and let them off early.I was not the only parent that did thoes things we all did and most of our teen came out Ok and Thank Us when they grew up and had familis of there owen and understood why we as parents did what we did.I hope its not to late for our youth.

FROM MIKE CETERA:

Christine Moyer's story is now available here.

In addition, the panel of experts who participated in the forum will offer answers to some of the questions they didn't get to Monday night. I'll post their response either Wednesday or Thursday.

I still belive in the old fashion way that the saying WAIT TIll YOUR FATHER gets home.It work for me and it work for my teens. We need to put the fear of God in these kids and a few visits to the morgue after a crash that was cause by drinking and driving maybe a visual will help.Parents need to be Parents and not worry about what the teen thinks and want thats your job as a parent.Parents are way to easy on there kids today for fear they will hate them if they put the rules down and stick to them.Teenages today do what ever they want and they know that there parents will give them the Talk and then its forgotten,trust me teens are very good at convincing there parents it not my fault and they will lie just like we did when we were kids and we hope we did not get caught but if we did boy was there a price to pay and we thought twice before we did it again the kids today have no respect of themselves, teachers, parents ect.We have lost all that and its the adults fault for letting our teen go wild.Its too late to turn our society around and the children will be the ones to suffer,parents need to get back on track and try to stop all this madness that is happing to our kids.

I have worked in prevention programs with teens for many years. I am hear to tell you the problems are diverse. Many children (and that is what they are) are emulating the behavior they witness at home. May are responding to peer preasure. Many are handling stress and living with "Abuse" sexual and mental by using drug and alcohol.Many have not developed their own moral compass yet.Everyone else makes decisions for them. That is the job that a parent is supposed to fill. I believe strongly that not all teens use. I further support community involvement and sadly at these meetings you are often are preaching to the choir. The numbers are often small. Keep plugging away and utilize professionals in the field. Use speakers and allow a period of time each day for reflection in the school on positive reinforcement of good behavior. There is plenty of good behavior to reward. Build a positive base. The reason children would honor the dead by continuing to drink for them is because they mourn and remember them "inspite" of the communty. These children(The victims) had lives and good memorys together and these children weren't just drunk driving statistics. These children (The survivors) have not mourned correctly. That process needs parents who are willing to look at the human end of life.When you realize, college age 21 year olds don't handle alcohol well, what can you expect from middle schoolers and high school age children? I have two children age 24 and 20. Each of them began to drink at age 20. When they started to drink they told us. We discussed with them drunk driving, family history of alcoholism,and talked about alcohol and the body. How alcohol is processed and what happens to your brain and coordination as you drink and levels of use. We are all able to understand this education it's not difficult.We don't support "funny" storys about drunk friends, we pick them apart and look for the "better way" to have handles that situation. We must all be our brothers keepers. I agree with positive adult sober "safe driver phone calls" and parents who will pick a child up from an uncomfortable situation and if that entails ending the party for everyone so be it. Adults should not cover for drinking parties and should be held to the highest standards. My neighbors and I have always had an understanding in regards to teen parties and our kids know it. Simply we will call the parents and then the police. Gladys Cravets saves lives.

Rather than expecting the government and schools to rear children by imposing ridiculous fines, (albeit a blanket statement, this is what it really comes down to) raise your children?

There is no excuse for what happened in Oswego. Never should someone get behind the wheel while under the influence of alcohol. I am under 21, so I cannot legally consume alcoholic beverages. However, I am over 18, so that means that I'm eligible to be drafted (if one were to occur) and be forcibly sent to the war and die for my country? Sounds a little unfair to me. We should bring the drinking age down to 18, and increase the penalties casted upon those who violate it.

To add to that... there's much more serious matters that we can focus on other than underage drinking. Seeing a couple youngsters get busted for having some drinks at a party doesn't worry me as much as reading through the police blotters and seeing 16-18 year olds get busted for possession of firearms during a routine traffic stop. (sorry for the huge run-on sentence :)

FROM CHRISTINE MOYER, BEACON NEWS REPORTER

Oswego Police Chief Dwight Baird said he is “attempting to arrange” a town meeting for sometime in March, when the community and its leaders can get together and discuss possible ways to curb underage drinking in the village.

Baird plans on reaching out to village leaders and school officials, as well as members of the Kendall County state’s attorney’s office, local churches, civic organizations and parents. For more information, read the full story in Thursday’s Beacon News.

I think the town meeting for the community to discuss drinking in Oswego is a great idea. Something needs to be said to high school students (and maybe even junior highers).

However, I don't think the traditional approach that has always been used should be implemented. Clearly, it's not really working any more. I went to Oswego schools all my life and went through all the health classes and programs such as DARE that they teach. It worked for me- I never drank in high school. For some reason though, it's not so effective any more.

I think having college students (like myself) talk to high schoolers may be more beneficial than any police officers or specialists. High schoolers would be able to relate to the college students better. I only graduated a few years ago, but I am sure that there are a lot more students that drink in high school than there were when I was there. People like myself could go talk to them and explain why we didn't drink in high school, why we didn't need to, and that you can still have fun without drinking. I wouldn't change one second of my high school experience, and I certainly would not drink if I could do it over again. Maybe having recent alums talk to students can help them understand that it's not as necessary as they think.

I remember when I was at OHS, they always had a presentation about drinking/car accidents before prom. Maybe college kids could talk then? It's worth a shot...

I personally think that underage drinking is a bigger deal. More people die from alcohol related causes than firearms. but that is my personal opinion. The drinking in Oswego is out of hand..as is the drug use. its sad that there are kids turning to drugs and alcohol for fun. but it is peer pressure. yes it may have something to do with the home environment, but we can't always blame someone else.

I stick by my first comment posted on Aug 8th. "Parents need to accept and embrace the fact that children are an 18+ year commitment that is going to require a great deal of their time and energy. Parents "me time" is not a priority. I'll never understand how some parents think it is in the best interest of their child to let them "sow some wild oats" because "that's what kids do", "kids will be kids". Parents need to learn how to say NO. Parents need to remember that the children they brought into this world are their responsibility and they need to accept the fact that it is OK to keep them on a short leash. Kids will still grow up. Their development won't be stunted. And maybe, just maybe, there will be fewer bad choices being made and a few more kids will make it to adulthood safe, sound, and in one piece."

Continuing to keep this issue open for discussion is a step in the right direction. However, it's very sad to me to see that so many still believe that it is the responsibility of the school and police officials to educate, parent, nurture and discipline other people's children. Educator's are supposed to teach academics. Police are supposed to enforce the law. PARENTS ARE SUPPOSED TO PARENT!!!!!!

I agree with the above post; however, most of the blame should be placed on the teenage drinker's shoulders. It's not like they don't know what they're doing. It gets crammed in our heads all throughout school that we shouldn't drink or do any type of drugs. We're taught time after time about the negative effects of these activities. And that's the way it should be. To be quite honest, I dont see much more that we can do to prevent these kids from consuming alcohol.

What we should do is draw more attention to the drinking and driving. That's what killed those kids in Oswego.

Teenagers and young adults generally have an attitude of invincibility. The capability of thinking in an "adult"-like, rational manner has been the subject of discussion for a long time. I believe that it is not bioligically possible. That is why you can provide all the information you want but the built in mechanism present in a teenager's brain just doesn't process it. Psychological development is just like physical development. Some grow faster than others. Some don't grow at all. And we don't all end up the same. Like it or not, there is significant truth to the saying "the older you get, the wiser". Maturation is a never-ending process. It continues throughtout your entire life. Those that are supposed to be the wiser need to scrape the selfishness that they've stepped in off the bottoms of their shoes and redirect their energy and passions into becoming active, alert, and unrelenting parents.

As I read the articles marking the 1 year anniversary of the Oswego tragedy one thing comes mind. How long are we as a society going to allow tragedy after tragedy to keep happening and not do anything about it. I hear talk about the possibility of changing driving privledges for teenagers under the age of 18. And about invoking stiffer penalties and or fines. Talk is cheap !and the more we talk is cheap! The way I figure is lets not talk....lets take ACTION. Because the more we talk and the less we implement the more teens are going to get killed because are inability as a society to do something about it.

ok hi my names David Jaeger i drink im 19 honestly im sick of hearing about this stuff all the time people constantly crying that fines need to be increased, parents should do their jobs, cops should enforce the law better or they should make new laws that are even harsher then the ones before them. Ok i know im going to sound heartless, insensitive an other things be my guest don't approve of what i say its my opinion. 1st this "tragedy" happened a year ago yea that sucks but people die every day. i don't know the whole story nor do i care but honestly they got what was coming to them not to be an jerk or cause a disturbance and no im not trying to offend the families, people should learn from this but will they never, these kids knew the risk of drunk driving its not like the schools don't try an pound this stuff into kids head from day one they do from what i remember also everyone wants to cast the blame elsewhere like on the alcohol industry in any situation involving alcohol the same thing with tobacco people know the risk yet still take them and it is their faults and if justice is supposed to prevail then people get what they deserve. an parents slap your kids! not seriously but start laying down house law also talk to them inform them of the dangers of drinking an driving and don't condemn them if they want to drink or use drugs but let them know your side of the story an hear theirs. just because i drink an occasionally smoke pot doesn't mean im your neighborhood crack head if kids are gonna drink an do drugs then at least help them to realize the difference between you drinking the booze and the booze drinking you im not saying hey lets leagalize pot an booze to 18 no not at all its a pipe dream but i doubt will happen especially with the increasing stupidity of our younger generation, im not talking about school smarts but im talking about common sense teach your kids that and they will have a better chance at making a right decision my parent taught that to me an im still alive granted i havent always done the right thing but with the school systems relentless attack on drinking and driving and the guidance of my parents i was able to learn from my stupid mistakes

I believe an effective approach to reducing the teenage drinking problem is to have parents and/or teens sign pledges stating the teens will not drink and parents will not serve liquor or allow liquor to be served to teens in their homes.

Some High Schools require athletes to sign pledges not to smoke and/or drink. All high schools should be encouraged to require such pledges for their athletes as well as others. These pledges should include specific penalties with zero tolerance.

Where I used to live, a local newspaper co-sponsored a program where parents made public pledges similar to the one I mentioned above. The parents who were willing to sign those pledges made them public by having their names listed in the local newspaper. Making them public helped insure the folks who signed them took them seriously.

Thanks for your stand on this issue.

Parents need to be parents and not there kids friends.

I see that at least people are talking about our problems in Oswego but i am still waiting for the meeting! O.K. ADULTS ITS TIME ,OUR KIDS IN THIS COMMUNITY NEED HELP.HAVE THE MEETING! HAVE THE MEETING! HAVE THE MEETING! HAVE THE MEETING! HAVE THE MEETING!BE POSITIVE DO RESEARCH LETS HELP THE KIDS!

When kids drink, the chances for trouble are great. But teenagers want to rebel and there is peer pressure to drink. How can we create a culture so that kids don't want to drink? It is great question. We should aware about this query and we should stop this. Everybody has stress in life. We should try to yoga. Thanks for nice article.
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victor
Addiction Recovery Wisconsin

It was an unfortunate event,though it could have been prevented. Yes, it was partly the parents fault, but as America so quickly does,they took the blame off the children. They were teenagers that did make a decision to drink that night. Ultimately it was their judgement call that consequently led to the pain that the parents must now suffer with.