NOTE: In a revival of this "classic" Friday feature, Courier-News reporter Mike Danahey guesses how much beer (or other beverage of choice) it might take him to pay money to see a recently-released movie. His opinions are based on trailers, ads and advance hype.
Here are some of the movies opening the weekend of Friday, June 18...
Toy Story 3
So Buzz and the gang wind up at a day care center, which for toys would be like us being sent to a nursing home, I guess. The script is by the same guy who wrote the quirky indie hit "Little Miss Sunshine," which means it could be subtly subversive. It's in 3D because, bless their little hearts, moviemakers want to get parents to spend as much as they can at the Cineplex.
Adult rule: If you are single, go see this at one of the later shows when the kids should all be in bed. That way, if you wind up crying, none of them see what a wimp you are. Also, it's just plain creepy for a single adult to go into a movie house packed with kids. It reeks of Michael Jackson, and though it's close to the anniversary of his death, heading to a packed kids' flick is not the way to mark the occasion, however ironic that might seem.
Beer rating: A couple A&W Root Beers.
Speaking of A&W (this is Readers' Reporter Emily McFarlan, here), this video "explains" what that stands for -- and was one of those viral videos my friends and I thought was HILARIOUS in college...
"Jonah Hex" and "Cyrus," after the jump.
OK, so I am gonna write a comic book just so I can get a movie deal. Yeah, this is another flick for the fan boys. It looks like an old Clint Eastwood movie on meth. The soundtrack is by the metal band Mastodon. I think if I see this my eyes and ears will bleed and I will wind up smelling like the mix of nerd, stoner and fat guy emanating from the rest of the audience.
Beer rating: A six pack of Lone Star.
Speaking of "Little Miss Sunshine," this limited release film has "indie hit" written all over its odd little promos. John C. Reilly plays a dude dating Marisa Tomei, whose chubby grown son (played by Jonah Hill) should have moved out of the house already. Creepy hilarity ensues.
Beer rating: The hipsters drink PBR, so I will go with a pitcher of that.
-- Mike Danahey, Staff Writer