(WARNING: This may be the longest blog post EVER. But it does have a lot of pictures!)
Quite frankly, we're disappointed in Elgin gadfly Tony Aiello's picks for stick figure puppets for his Elgin2030 video blog rants. Sometimes the connections seem dubious at best.
Gollum for Mike Warren. Really? Warren is chasing around town naked looking to take a ring from two hobbits. You really think he's that twisted and evil?
And Courier-News Reporter Mike Danahey is Jonah Jameson from Spider-Man? Though Danahey might be that cranky at times, Jameson was an editor. Readers' Reporter Emily McFarlan is Lois Lane, a.k.a. Twitter Girl? Every fanboy knows you don't mix Marvel and DC Comics characters. It ain't kosher.
So here are what we think might make better puppets for Aiello to play with. Putting this together made us realize you really need a lot of free time on your hands to make a puppet show -- luckily for us it was the Friday before the Fourth of July holiday.
City Manager Sean Stegall
Aiello's Robin, the Boy Wonder, from the Batman TV show pick for Stegall is probably Aiello's most inspired choice. Still, it's old school. We're thinking maybe Harry Potter.
He bears a slight resemblance to a young Elvis Costello.
Mayor Ed Schock
Aiello has Schock as the evil Mr. Potter from "It's A Wonderful Life." Even if you believe Schock is that stingy and evil, a better fit would be Charles Comiskey, who owned the Chicago White Sox and whose miserliness led to the Black Sox scandal. Schock is a Sox fan, so this would be a better fit if you lived in Aiello's world.
City council members, Aiello and your Courier reporters, after the jump.
Since Dunne used to have the role in real life, an obvious choice would be Jim Carrey's character from "In Living Color," Fire Marshall Bill:
By default, the best looking guy on the council. And since he's soft spoken, a Ken doll might be in order.
A stout little cubby bear, Warren's puppet could be Lotso, the strawberry-scented teddy bear who turns out to be the villain in the latest Toy Story.
Aiello thinks Prigge is a Star Wars villain. Wow. He's that evil? Really? Would that make Aiello Han Solo and Aiello's wife, Princess Leia? We doubt it. With his scanner and deep concern about pit bull attacks, Prigge may have more in common with a middle-aged Batman.
OR, if you accept Aiello's world view, minus the evil, the comic book crusaders The Tick and Arthur could work for Prigge and Warren.
You could have fun with this, since the names are so similar -- Gilliam's copyright-infringed puppet could be former "Benson" star Robert Guillame.
Since Kaptain is big into the green thing, this is easy. He's Al Gore.
Irish and stout, and given journalism's way prior reputation, a pint of Guinness will do.
Reporter Emily McFarlan
Since Emily is the Courier's Readers' Reporter, we opened this one up to our readers. Who are evil. And suggested Kristen Stewart, who plays the helpless vampire/werewolf love interest in Twilight. And we all know how Emily feels about Twilight.
Here's another Scooby Doo-related suggestion: What about Velma? Emily's the geeky geek that keeps the Courier going on Facebook, Twitter and this blog.
And, finally, here's the one Emily is rooting for: April from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Hey, she was a reporter, too!
Laurie Faith Gibson-Aiello
Well, LFGA was Mrs. Illinois. And she's super involved, "adopting" causes and stuff. So how about Angelina Jolie-Pitt?
For some reason, we see him as one of the Super Mario Brothers. This makes no sense, but, hey, that means it works.
-- Mike Danahey, Staff Writer