I remember the day I found out Jay Mariotti was going to officially resign from the Chicago Sun-Times . It's one of those life-changing events that will stick in my memory forever. I was sitting in a Shorewood laundromat Tuesday night when he called me out of the blue. He sounded like he was in a hurried rush, like he was running from someone. He said something like, "Delaney, it's me. I just [expletive] quit."
He yelled at me when I didn't say anything. Of course, I didn't believe him. He then went on a 40-minute tangent about how newspapers are dying and how the Web is killing everything. He was in distress. Somebody must have gotten to him in Beijing. Maybe his life is in danger. I couldn't really hear him over the dull roar of the washing machine. I told Mariotti we should catch up over a few rounds later in the week.
By the time I got to work Thursday, the situation had gone into wildfire mode. Of the 8,000 accounts written about Mariotti's sudden exodus, not one of them seemed to praise him beyond 17 years of alleged megalomania. Mariotti's departure even drove the lovable film critic Roger Ebert to leave his cinematic jurisdiction to post a 'Final F-You' letter to "Jay the Rat" on his Web site.
Man, who defecated in Ebert's tea that morning? Don't piss that guy off. He writes a mean letter and then gives you the fatal thumbs down.
Everyone has their own theory about what pushed Jay over the edge. As bad as people say he is, readers will become bored with columns and blogs that don't stir up the dust a little. It's good for business. I think Tony Montana said it best:
"You need people like me so you can point your [expletive] fingers and say, "That's the bad guy." So... what that make you? Good? You're not good. You just know how to hide, how to lie. Me, I don't have that problem. Me, I always tell the truth. Even when I lie. So say good night to the bad guy! Come on. The last time you gonna see a bad guy like this again, let me tell you."
Jay Mariotti's departure from the Sun-Times only gives room for Brian Delaney's rapidly-expanding ego at The Herald News. In fact, Brian Delaney is so vain, he frequently writes his own Sun-Times News Group blog in third-person, so his name will appear higher up in Google search results. "It's so my parents can find me," Delaney said.



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