May 2008 Archives

An Aurora man this week set the Guinness World Record for “spinning.” (Spinning used to be something pre-schoolers did on a toy called a Sit-N-Spin Now it’s something that yuppies and soccer moms and guys who want to break records do in a health club.)

George Hood rode for nine days. ‘Holy cannoli!,’ you’re thinking. Only it’s not THAT impressive. At least, it’s not a record I’m impressed with. In my mind, records should go to people who ride until they fall asleep and their foot slips off the pedal, running their shin against metal, bloodying it, or until they crap themselves in their seat and, facing sheer embarrassment, give up.

A Michigan doctor has received a tax bill for 51 cents. It cost the city of Brighton, Mich., $5.21 to send him a certified letter indicating that his taxes were due.

According to the AP, the doctor, Phil Kazanji

says he first thought the amount was a mistake. Now he calls the whole thing "the most ridiculous thing a government agency would do."

From a craigslist posting in Plainfield:

so i just moved and int he move i lost pretty much all of my clothes. i have all my socks and boxers and pants. just no shirts or shorts or anything else. anything you have wuold be great.

A New York man is suing Jet Blue, saying the pilot made him sit on a toilet seat during part of a flight between California and New York.

Something's not adding up here: Why would a pilot violate federal law and allow a passenger to sit in the bathroom unbelted, but refuse to violate company policy by saying that since the man is not an employee, he can't sit in the jump seat.

As reported in a Monday story, a handful of crybaby smokers and their puffing lawyer wants a Will County judge to rule the state's smoking ban as unconstitutional.

Are you kidding me? A number of states have passed similar legislation, and none seems to have been knocked down. And earlier this month, a pipe smoking club and its attorney members were unsuccessful in getting a temporary reprieve from the state's smoking ban for their annual convention.

What makes a few smokers and their attorney think they can convince a Will County judge to overturn the law?

Smokers will argue about the government slowly eroding their rights. While that's a concern, that's not what's happening here.

A kid in a driver's ed car was getting a ticket from a Lake County, Ind., sheriff's officer Monday afternoon.

Over-ambitious cop or totally useless driving instructor?

Democratic party darling Barack Obama announced this week he's visiting Michigan and Florida, two states whose Democratic primaries didn't count because the states held their contests earlier than Democrats would have liked.

Is this evidence that Obama is moving onto the general election, or a tacit acknowledgment that the Democrats will probably seat the two states' delegates after all?

Courtesy of the Non Sequitur comic strip.

Your turn: Is print really dying? Should newspapers do anything to stop the trend of declining paper readership? Do I start looking for a new career now, or is there some type of future for us?

Remember when TV worked so easily and simply? Shows ended and began conveniently on either the top or the bottom of the hour.

The only complicating factor was the occasional sports game that ran a little longer, perhaps cutting into the 10 o'clock news or reruns of The Simpsons.

Now, it's a regular occurrence. Networks seem more and more to be ending shows at 8:31 or 9:02, or some other stupidly annoying similar time.

How am I supposed to watch the first two minutes of Law and Order SVU (perhaps the most crucial), while finding out who got booted from Dancing with the Stars (It's a sexy show, so shudd up) all while ensuring that the DVR properly catches Deadliest Catch (Why is each show more addicting than the last, even though they admittedly show the same thing)?

As has already been largely reported Debbie Halvorson was taken off as chairman of the state senate's rules committee.

The Crete Democrat, who is the state senate majority leader, is running against Martin Ozinga III for the 11th Congressional District seat. Obviosly, Ozinga's campaign is making lemonade with the news, arguing that for years Halvorson has followed the lead of Gov. Rod Blagojevich and Senate President Emil Jones. This removal is evidence that those relationships are hurting the campaign, according to Ozinga's folks.

Joliet fire department divers founds a car at the bottom of the river. Read the story here.

More importantly is what was inside the trunk: "a two-liter bottle of Squirt, a bottle of motor oil and a stack of white cardboard with a picture of a shish-kabob, which police officer Michelle Martorelli identified as a cookbook."

Assuming the Squirt was unopened, would you drink it? With enough smack-talking, I would try a sip of the tasty lymon beverage.

5/13/08 Update: Michael Schmidt, one of our photographers at the paper, took this excellent shot of the inside of the car.

According to Mike, the smell was horrible. But, I would still probably sip the Squirt... for a fee.

A former colleague and dear friend once joked that I was a “twenty-something stuck in the body of a 63-year-old man.” My friend even once got me a birthday card, showing a stodgy old man with an inscription along the lines of: another year closer to shaking your fist and yelling ‘Hey you damn kids, get off my lawn!’

That’s pretty much what this blog is about and why it’s named the way it is.

People who design bank drive-throughs are a far smarter lot than those who design the fast food counterparts. It's gotta be true, based on the following:

Twice today I found myself at a drive through waiting for food (I like to think it's because it was raining and I didn't want to get wet, but let's face it -- I was just lazy.) That's where I realized the designers of the buildings are morons.

Ever notice those cute little awnings that fast food restaurants have over their drive-up windows? Ever notice they stick out just enough to be immediately above your driver's side window?