My husband and I were at my parents' house Saturday to see my uncle and his wife, who were visiting from the east coast.
Warming up to one of his favorite topics, my husband starting talking about a group that promotes something very nongreen. The group, he explained, is supposed to appear like a grassroots, nonprofit, but in truth they are funded by ...
Before he could say it, my uncle supplied the name of the Big Evil Corporation.
Don't get me wrong. I'm pro business. I'm pro capitalism. I'm just anti this specific Big Evil Corporation.
My husband was thrilled that someone else shared our suspicion and horror regarding Big Evil Corporation's activities.
Then my uncle dropped the bombshell.
Seems in college, he working a three-month internship for Big Evil Corporation.
I stared in horror.
He rushed the explain. It was amidst the height of his hippie days. Taking the internship meant trying to control hair that hadn't seen a comb in three years. (Combs are apparently part of the establishment.)
At Big Evil Corporation, he was answering complaint letters. Mrs. S from Boise would write to say that Big Evil Corporation's products were killing wildlife or making people sick or whatever, and my uncle was supposed to tell Mrs. S. that her input was important to Big Evil Corporation, but that the products were actually really, really great.
Kind of takes the wind out of yours sales on complaint letters, doesn't it?
I'm not actually blaming my uncle for working for Big Evil Corporation. People do wacky things in college. I'd rather have a relative who got a paycheck from the enemy for three months in college than one who did a series of "Girls Gone Wild" videos on spring break. (Yeah, that's something to think about. Eventually we'll have a whole generation of kids who worry that grandma did "Girls Gone Wild." Yuck.)
So if Big Evil Corporation is really so big and evil, why am I not naming names? Am I part of the conspiracy?!?
Nope. Just not interested in getting sued or shut down.
Well, the evil part is my opinion, an opinion shared by many, but it's provable per se. So Big Evil Corporation could sue me if I say something little and evil about them.
And they sue A LOT.
Calling 'em "Big Evil Corporation," I'll live to blog another day.
Julie Todd is the night editor at The Herald News in Joliet. She and her
husband are looking to cut the chemicals and get back to basics -- minus the
granola and hemp clothing. They live in a home they bought last year in
Plainfield, where they're making changes to create their own little patch of
utopia.
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