Boy, are we red-faced. The annual list of the nation's top party schools comes out and the University of Illinois ranks Number 16.
Oskywowow, how can this be? We're being beaten out by such places as the University of Iowa, which everybody knows has Astroturf on its football field because the cheerleaders might graze if it were grass. Indiana University is higher than Illinois and their nickname is Hoosiers.
Woe is the Illini. The Hound believes this drop in party ranking is caused by two things: Fewer Illinoisans making the drive down Interstate 57 to Chambana and the retirement of Chief Illiniwek. Without The Chief, Illinois students are adrift. We're dashing off a letter to the university to reinstate The Chief which will lead back to a higher party school ranking.
By the way, West Virginia University was named the naton's top party school in the Princeton Review's annual list. They also were No. 1 in the category of "Their Students (Almost) Never Study." One reason they almost never study is that after winning football games, students carry on an odd tradition of burning sofas in the middle of streets on campus.
In fact, our Mountaineer correspondent reports that several off-campus apartments have garages stacked with sofas ready to burn once the Big East gets underway. Burn, baby, burn.
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