December 2007 Archives

The following reminds The Hound of something Mark Twain said long, long ago: "Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself."

While the national media continues to be mesmerized by the frozen cornfields of Iowa and has yet to jump into the frozen puddles of New Hampshire, real political junkies are tallying up delegate votes. After all, that's what gets a presidential candidate nominated to carry his or her party's banner come November 2008.

So all of you people think that Santa Claus runs his sweat shop operation on fairy dust? Not exactly. In this era of carbon footprints, the jolly old elf himself steps heavy when it comes to making little girls and boys happy on Christmas.

If you're still rooting around for Christmas presents this weekend, The Hound has come up for the perfect gift for the dog in your life who has everything: A urinal partially made from soybeans.

The Hound has thought long and hard over the dilemma area duffers will find themselves in next spring when they go to Orchard Hills Golf Course and find it has morphed into soccer fields. There's only one thing to do: Turn to Frisbee golf.

If you're like The Hound, you tend to worry about things like the following: Scientists have discovered a huge space death ray. That's right, straight out of "Star Wars", perhaps on the level of the Death Star which carried Darth Vader to his various tasks.

Sort of odd, The Hound thinks, that Congressman Mark Kirk has endorsed Arizona Sen. John McCain for president, but voted against banning waterboarding by U.S. intelligence agencies. McCain believes torture and prisoner abuse "are not American tools, and the easy way is not the American way."

Now that Waukegan's own Gary Bennett has 'fessed up to employing human growth hormones, what does Major League Baseball have in store for the new backup catcher for the Los Angeles Dodgers?

After watching two weather forecasts, The Hound went to sleep Friday night with the knowledge Lake County would be getting a dusting of snow --- between 1 and 3 inches. That's what the weathermen said. Guess they don't know what they're doing, eh?

What is it with Lake County drivers who keep on hitting buildings? Is there something in the water? In two weeks drivers have smacked seriously into buildings. Perhaps dozens have hit buildings and caused no damage. Who knows?

The Hound's mom always had this saying that if Little Johnny jumped off the bridge would you? Well, The Hound has jumped off a number of bridges, but mom was trying to make the point of don't be a follower, be a leader. Waukegan school officials think they're leaders. They're not.

Perhaps the bipartisan warning by congressional representatives Mark Kirk and Melissa Bean will kick start the mass transit impasse in Springfield. Either that or the region is in line to lose megamillions in grant money from Uncle Sugar.

The Hound was at the vet the other day, getting his annual physical and was reading one of those magazines only found in a sawbones' office. That was when he learned of the best and worst brand extensions of '07.

Why does The Hound have the sneaking suspicion that all the complaints over the Waukegan Park District razing Orchard Hills Golf Course in favor of a soccer complex have more to do with who plays soccer and who plays golf.

Everybody wants peace, but nobody does anything about it. Unless you live in Los Angeles where on Pearl Harbor Day the city council voted unanimously to create a cabinet-level U.S. Department of Peace. What else is new on the Left Coast?

By today we will have learned who has won the New Hampshire primary, the first true electoral test of the 2008 presidential campaign. Of course, the Iowa caucuses will be held Jan. 3. Despite candidates cruising in these two tiny states, do they really matter?

Illinois Attorney General Lisa Madigan must think U of I students, faculty and alumni are dummies, despite the fact they attend or graduated from one of the nation's top institutions of higher learning. Madigan is warning Illini fans to be on guard against Rose Bowl scams.

Perhaps The Hound's ACT scores were the reason he ended up at state obedience school, not that he didn't get good grooming techniques there. Parents today, though, don't want to take that chance and are grooming their pups for the all-important college entrance exams at the ripe old age of 5.

It's a sad day when the Monsters of the Midway get relegated to a low-power UHF station which is what happens tonight when the Bears square off against the Washington Redskins --- if you don't have the NFL Network at your dog house. Where, oh, where sports fans, has this season gone except south?

The body politic, or at least potential voters, are mighty ticked at state Rep. Eddie Washington for wanting to change the name of the Amstutz Expressway. Poor Melvin E. Amstutz, caught in the middle of a political donnybrook.

The Republic of Srpska will not declare independence later this month. Whew, The Hound was worried about that one. Just one more thing to ponder what with Iraq, Iran, North Korea, Russia, Venezuela on our foreign policy plate.

Is The Hound alone in thinking Gov. Rod Blagojevich and his band of merry pranksters, i.e., the Legislature, are just a bunch of goofs. Granted, we elected them, but these special sessions with nothing getting done is starting to rile The Hound.

You have to be a pretty lame thief to walk off with a Salvation Army kettle at this time of year. But that's what happened the day before Thanksgiving in Libertyville where a bell ringer took a potty break only to find his 60-pound kettle and stand missing and the $600 inside it gone with a winter's wind.

There is a certain contingent hoping for a matchup next November in the 8th Congressional District between incumbent Democrat Melissa Bean of Barrington and GOP hopeful Kirk Morris of Gurnee. That's because Morris supports the Bush strategy in Iraq and Bean backs a phased redeployment plan.