March 2008 Archives

It's not a question of if the Lake County cougar is captured, it's when. It would be a good idea to have a plan of what to do with the beast once it's captured. How about starting a Lake County Zoo, with the cougar as the centerpiece.
After the big cat is tamed, it could be loaned out to roam the sidelines during Vernon Hills football games, or lick the hand that feeds it at kids birthday parties. It's clear the cougar likes it here. Don't ship it out to Wyoming. Keep it in Lake County, and let's have some fun with it!

It's not a question of if the Lake County cougar is captured, it's when. It would be a good idea to have a plan of what to do with the beast once it's captured. How about starting a Lake County Zoo, with the cougar as the centerpiece.
After the big cat is tamed, it could be loaned out to roam the sidelines during Vernon Hills football games, or lick the hand that feeds it at kids birthday parties. It's clear the cougar likes it here. Don't ship it out to Wyoming. Keep it in Lake County, and let's have some fun with it!

In one of the more obtuse exercises, we're being asked to turn off all non-essential lights from 8 to 9 p.m. Saturday. Apparently, this is supposed to make a dramatic, symbolic statement about energy usage or going green or saving the planet from ourselves. The Hound is feeling warm all over and wants to break out in song to "Kumbaya".

The World Wildlife Fund came up with this lights-out strategy as part of its global campaign against climate change. They call it Earth Hour and have talked cities across the nation, including Chicago, Atlanta, Phoenix and San Francisco; across the globe Bangkok, Copenhagen, Dubai, Dublin, Manila, Sydney, Tel Aviv and Toronto.

In Lake County, Highland Park (no surprise there) and Round Lake (there's a surprise) will be taking part. Walgreens corporate headquarters in Deerfield will be dimmed, while the folks at Prairie Crossing in Grayslake will be holding a pot luck dinner during Earth Hour. Bring your own wheat grass.

In Chicago, more than 160 buildings in the Loop, including Sears Tower, Hancock Center, Boeing corporate offices, Northern Trust, theater marquees will be darkened. Wrigley Field will turn off its landmark marquee at Clark and Addison, while the United Center will turn out the lights that shine on the Michael Jordan statue. Somebody better tell MJ about this.

This is all fine and dandy, but if we really want to make a statement about global warming, let's all throw our car keys into the gene pool and start walking or taking mass transit. Start using more solar power. Start using less plastic, more recycling and composting.

While The Hound thinks the whole idea is dumb, the dog house will have its CFLs turned off for the hour. The computer may be unplugged. But not the 12-foot plasma. We'll see how many others join in.

Fox News 32 talked to Harry Caray's widow, Dutchie, on Tuesday night and found she did not authorize those bizarre and annoying AT&T radio and TV commercials that have been running with the impersonator of the late Cubs announcer. That certainly was shocking.

Turns out, according to Fox News, the manager of Caray's estate gave approval for the commercials with the understanding they would be "a tribute" to the late sports broadcaster. Guess he was, shall we say, mislead. Too, the Caray restaurant chain has been getting scores of calls complaining about the commercials and blaming them for the morbid ads.

However, AT&T says the ads are supposed to end on Sunday as the campaign apparently has run its course. Maybe they'll get Vince Lloyd or Jack Quinlan to be the telecommunications giant's next spokesmen.

As one acquaintance told The Hound that not only are the Harry commercials bad, but so is the impersonation. He noted that most guys, once they've had a few beers, can do a spot-on Harry Caray. Hello again, everybody. It's a bee-yooo-tiful day for baseball!
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The Hound has been attacked by skunk lovers who want to own the animals as pets in Illinois. Well, read on what Wisconsin Gov. Jim Doyle did to a similar wild animal.

According to The Associated Press, Doyle signed a bill into law late last week that declares wild pigs harmful wild animals. Wild pigs have been a problem in southwestern Wisconsin for years as their rooting destroys the ground and crops. Designating the pigs as harmful means no one can possess, sell, buy, display or rehabilitate one.

The keywords here are possess, sell, buy, display or rehabilitate. Wild pigs may not be vermin, like skunks, but they certainly sharing the rooting around gene. Wisconsin also bans having a skunk as a pet and requires a special permit to keep one. That's because the state classifies them as wild or exotic animals. If you want to own a skunk, you need to have an an approved dwelling place for it, a licensed vet to care for it and have its musk sack removed.

But remember, skunk lovers, the animal is a member of the weasel family. Some people call them "stink cats," "polecats" or "smell cats." Gee, wonder where they got those names? Probably from some hound who got skunk stink on him or her.

The Hound was snoozing through the games of Sunday's "Road to the Final Four" when the TV news came on and there was the report of the Iraq war protesters arrested during Easter Mass in Chicago. What's that about?

The six yahoos --- three men, three women --- interrupted Cardinal Francis George's homily, standing up, yelling and spraying fake blood on themselves and parishoners. They're lucky they were in church or some of those parishoners might have given them a bit of "shock and awe." Too bad.

After they were escorted out , the cardinal noted that we're all for peace, but the protesters shouldn't have broken into the church "interrupting the worship of God." As far as The Hound can tell, the cardinal and most of the church, including the pope, oppose the war in Iraq. Why these mopes decided to disrupt Easter Mass is beyond The Hound's pecan-sized brain.

But it goes to show that in our anything-goes society in these early years of the new millennium, nothing is sacred. Not even Easter Mass. Too bad.

That's one more thing people like the protesters --- who call themselves members of a group called Catholic Schoolgirls Against the War (now isn't that precious) --- have invaded. While the rest of us in church on Easter are quietly listening about salvation and resurrection, these folks are telling us we're stoopids for not opposing the war.

How do they know parishoners at Holy Family don't oppose the war? Did they ask them?
Was this just a publicity stunt? A moral lesson --- like the cardinal needs one of those. They are on moral high ground because they vocalize their opposition to Bush's war in a house of worship?

At least they didn't strap C-4 to their bodies and take parishoners with them to show them the true path to righteousness. That's what happens in houses of worship in certain parts of the world. That, too, is too bad.

Barely 2,000 protesters opposed to the war in Iraq marshaled to march through Chicago's Loop on Wednesday marking the fifth year of U.S. involvement in the Mideast country. That just about sums up what America thinks of us being there. We're so bored, we won't even protest.

Every day the U.S. is in Iraq means another $720 million to its cost which according to one study currently totals more than $1 trillion in war debt interest, care for 60,000 wounded veterans and replenishing equipment. You, your kids and grandkids will be footing the bill for this misadventure, let alone the cost to the naton of oil prices, interest rates and inflation. The Hound also has to pay his fair share.

Let's not forget the nearly 4,000 U.S. troops killed.

If John McCain thinks the way to get elected is to "stay the course" of the Bush administration's now-recognized folly, he better find new advisers or expect the Republican Party to become the next party, like the Whigs, to become extinct.

The American people, except for the Bush apologists are tired of the killing, tired of the expense and more interested in voting somebody off "American Idol". They could care less if the Sunnis or Shiites run the country.

That may be a short-sighted view of geopolitics, but the realization is nobody cares anymore. And as the economy gets worse, the electorate will be looking for a scapegoat.

George W. Bush is not on the ballot. John McCain is.

When is AT&T going to pull those dreadful Harry Caray impersonation ads? And, better yet, who was the person that authorized them?

The Hound can't be the only one who thinks AT&T using a creepy version of the beloved Cubs announcer is wrong, so wrong. The Hound would have liked to have been in the room when some suit approved this ad campaign. Did this honcho even watch these abominations? If so, he or she should be fired, along with the ad agency that came up with these spots.

It probably went something like this: "Comcast has Brian Urlacher. We need a sports figure. Hey, let's get Harry Caray! Uh, he's dead. So."

Why didn't they just bring back Alexander Graham Bell? Oh, he's dead? Right.

Besides, the guy who impersonates Caray, John Campanera, The Hound has been told, sort of looks like Peter Cushing in one of those Roger Corman B-movies, except he's wearing oversized glasses.

Maybe this is all part of AT&T's plan. We complain and they get free publicity. But do you really want to buy entertainment and information products from a company that uses a poor rendition of a guy who died 10 years ago to peddle their wares? Besides, they don't even have On Demand.

If AT&T is really into promoting their products with dead people, The Hound suggests Elvis is available, as is Jack Brickhouse, Irv Kupicinet, Al Capone, Dion O'Banion, John Dillinger and the Lone Ranger. It could be, it might be, it is.

The federal government is helping to bail out one of the nation's financial rocks, Bear Stearns; the State of Illinois is thisclose to junk bond status. But we're getting free money from the feds and, if you're a senior, free rides from Illinois. Is this a great country, or what?

The Hound household received their "important message from the IRS on the Economic Stimulus Act of 2008" in the mail over the weekend with the warning: "Do not throw away!" In Illinois, when the feds tell you not to throw anything away, that could mean your indictment is days away from being filed.

In any case, the mailing from the Department of Treasury informed The Hound will be getting some money, as will 130 million American households, starting in May. It's a one-time payment. Darn, The Hound thought Uncle Sugar just has an unlimited suppy of money. Well, when it comes to Iraq, that appears to be true.

Regardless, The Hound gets some money to goose the economy. Plus, the family figures, with all the Hounders and Houndettes running under foot, there is some money coming back on the income tax refund. These dogs will be rolling in dough come May. Sounds like a road trip to a nearby casino to double our money!

In the meantime, Gov. Rod "Hot Rod" Blagojevich has given all you senior citizens free rides on mass transit. That began on Monday, if you have registered. It makes Illinois the only state in the nation to give seniors free mass transit rides. There are former Soviet states who don't give their seniors free mass transit rides. They don't even get that in Cuba. Hmmm, Blagojevich. Has sort of a subversive name, eh?

But The Hound digresses, as usual. Free rides aren't only guaranteed in the six-county Chicago area. If you live in Bloomington, Normal, Champaign, Urbana, Danville, Decatur, Rock Island County, St. Clair County, Madison County, Peoria, Pekin, Rockford and Springfield, you get gratis bus rides, as long as you are 65 and older.

Between George Bush and his head-in-the-sand Hooverville advisers and Rod Blagojevich's Supreme Soviet advisers, the middle class is being squeezed like sand in the hour glass. What a country.

In one of the greatest basketball games The Hound has ever witnessed, Ronald Steward became a hero for his fans and every player who's ever hoped to score from half court with a last-millisecond shot to take the Zee-Bees into the state finals.

What does a team like this do for an encore?

Talk about your icemen. There's Steward and then there's Coach Don Kloth who noted calmly after the game winning three-pointer he and his team were, "Livin' for the moment." Undoubtedly. In a game that was even-up all the way, what a finish.

Steward's spectacular shot gave the Zee-Bees a 54-51 win over the Evanston Wildkits and cemented a first- or second-place finish on Saturday in the state 4A finals in Peoria. Do teams really practice that last-minute, Hail Mary, or did he go solo? Who knows, who cares.

The Hound thought the game was in doubt when Zachary Morton of Evanston drained a trey from the outfield. It certainly was over after the steal. But then it turned around in a flash and Ronald "Iceman" Steward hit that three-pointer on the sweet spot of the glass and The Valley was abuzz. On to the next round.

Yowza, it doesn't get any better than this hoops fans.

Whatever happens tonight in Peoria at the Zion-Benton/Evanston Class 4A basketball game, you have to admit Zion-Benton has one of the cooler team mascots in Illinois. Hands down, it has the best in Lake County by a long run.

Just look around: There's three Bulldog teams, there's Wildcats, Cougars, Panthers, Eagles, Scouts, Warriors, Mustangs, Bears, Broncos, Rams, Knights and Patriots. The Hound has to admit the Little Giants of Highland Park are better than average. The Warhawks of North Chicago have some military ties. How does Carmel Catholic get away with using a sanitized term, Corsairs, for pillaging pirates? And how has the Sequoits missed being outed by American Indian protesters? Let's not even mention Warren's Blue Devils.

But the Zee-Bees, now that's a mascot. It's different and combines the two townships, Zion and Benton, which make up the student population. It's also clever, short and simple. The Hound could say sweet, but then that would be taking that bee metaphor just one more step closer to the edge.

There's only a few statewide that come close to matching the Zee-Bees in the mascot arena, like the Orphan Annies, the girls sports teams of Centralia, or the Teutopolis Wooden Shoes or the Freeport Pretzels. But the Zee-Bees rule the hive, so to speak, and The Hound expects them to do the same in Peoria.

Sting 'em, Bees!

Another American political career came to a screeching and humiliating end Wednesday. New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer became former New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer after his resignation in the wake of getting caught dallying with prostitutes and spending $80,000 on illicit sex.

What was he thinking? Besides, The Hound thinks the wife of Client 9 is pretty hot. And, she's a lawyer.

How long Spitzer, 48, thought he could get away with paying for sex only he and his arrogance knew. The once Democratic crime fighter and trustbuster who basked in the nickname "Eliot Ness" seemed oblivious to the harm that by bringing the woman across state lines he was violating the Mann Act, an offense that would endanger him, his family and his political future.

Plus, he shelled out $80,000 for sex. Was this guy horny or what? The professional escort he escorted to the Mayflower Hotel in Washington, D.C., alone cost $4,300 for the night.

And, once again we find the dutiful wife standing beside her alley cattin' husband while he apologizes for getting caught. What's with that? Most non-political wives would be looking for the butcher knife if this happened to them.

We're a nation of second acts. We'll see if Spitzer can make a comeback after being this week's laughingstock of the nation.

How come Illinois pols never get embroiled in any sex scandals. All we get is run-of-the-mill governmental corruption cases to report on. Nothing steamy. Guess our pols like money and power over whatever is in third place in their minds.

It must be the water. That's the only explanation from some of the crazy goings on in California. The latest was the attempt by the Berkeley City Council to boot the Marine Corps Recruiting Station and permit the outright harassment of Marines in the San Francisco Bay city. Guess they were looking for a fight.

Reading The News-Sun's Viewpoint page last week, one got the feeling the system was in a prevent defense, circling the wagons it would seem, defending the status quo legal and electoral systems.

While America is going through the winnowing process to select a new president, Zogby International has conducted it's annual "Presidential Greatness" survey. From what The Hound can tell, the trio left in the race to their parties' nomination have a long road to travel. For starters, the man they'll be replacing is No. 9 of the top dozen. President Bush is just above Lyndon Johnson, Gerald Ford and Richard Nixon, who round out the bottom feeders. And Dubya is a war president. Go figure.

Lost in the shuffle of March Madness, spring training and Brett Favre's long-overdue retirement, The Hound has been bereft in pointing out we're less than six months to the Beijing Olympics. To mark that countdown, the Chicago 2016 committee bidding for that year's Olympics has opened an online store to raise funds for the effort.

The Hound is scratching behind the ears over why Antioch can’t make any headway in building a new pool. The park board spent years and thousands of dollars of taxpayers’ money to research the best location, choosing a piece of property on the north side of the village for the new aqua center. They even paid a consultant to come up with concepts for the project.

While fans in Packer Nation are crying in their beer and brats because of the abrupt retirement of Green Bay Packers uber QB Brett Favre, The Hound is happy as getting new straw in the dog house. Thanks for the memories, Brett --- not! Thanks for the nightmares, you mean.

Leave it to Gov. Rod "The Mod" Blagojevich to want to wreck a perfectly good lecture hall, Cole Hall at Northern Illinois University at DeKalb, with a $40 million replacement. Guess we have money to burn in the Land Of Lincoln --- not!

If The Hound knows one thing in the universe is true, it's that skunks smell. They smell real bad. How bad? Bad. So The Hound can't figure out why people in Illinois, mainly downstate Illinois, want to keep skunks as pets. They do and they are waging a war to change state law.