With July almost half over, you have until July 31 to vote for America's Best Public Restroom. Yesiree, in a nation which has to have the best of everything, except public officials, we now can vote for clean water closets. Is this a great country, or what?
Indeed, this is the seventh annual survey sponsored by the Cintas Corp., which supplies restroom supplies to companies. You can vote at the www.bestrestroom.com Web site and even take a photo tour of the loos. Winners will be announced in August.
There's 10 finalists and, surprisingly, two are in Illinois. The Signature Room at the 95th, which occupies the 95th floor of the Hancock Center in Chicago and Brio Restaurant in Rockford, of all places. Apparently, Brio's restrooms are themed as Heaven for women, hell for men. Hmmm, what's that about?
Also in the top 10 is the Iowa 80 Truck Stop in Walcott, Iowa. Leave it to Iowa to have a truckstop comfort station entered in the competition. Also in the running is the Jerome Bettis Grille 36 in Pittsburgh, named for the former Steelers' fullback.
So vote early and often. And, don't forget to flush.
Years ago, when I loved road trips, I used to grade the rest areas. Oregon and Washington were the most motor friendly by letting non-profit groups earn money offering coffee and snacks to motorists. New Mexico had one of the strangest. They looked like adobes. When I got to Texas, they just had "picnic areas". That stunk. The first time I saw the Chicago "oasis", I thought that was cool. I still like to check out all the rest areas and see who has the cleanest, and/or most interesting. I know, weird. But I would be interested in seeing those bathrooms in Rockford.
THE HOUND SAYS: Obviously, Teresa, you need to get out more if you think the sterile Illinois tollway oases are "cool." Those bathrooms must be the most exciting thing in Rockford in a long, long time. Or at least the last time The Hound set foot in the Forest City.
Yet another way to take our minds off of our real problems by focusing instead on the mindless and trivial.
My bet is that this little contest will garner more research time - and votes - from the general public than the November election... that is, if we can tear ourselves away from "American Idol."
As a good American, I will participate; however, as a statement of my discontent with the established candidates, I will cast a write-in vote for the outhouse at Pomeroy Lake. Conveniently located in the heart of the Ottawa National Forest, it offers simple, no-frills accommodation in a rustic setting.
THE HOUND SAYS: Good night, Irene! There's nothing like the comfort of a good comfort station. Obviously, you have gotten over the Lucullan types and go for the rustic water closets. Watch out for spiders...they do bite.
Dearest Hound: I'm not worried about the spiders. Ticks are something else again. And mosquitoes and deer flies and bears and... the list goes on, especially when you're in the U.P.
By the way, don't knock the Illinois Tollway oases. They're unique in that you can stand, mesmerized, as you watch the traffic pass beneath your feet (though that doesn't have anything to do with the comfort facilities). I haven't seen anything else like that... east of the Mississippi, that is. My land travels have only taken me as far west as West Memphis, Arkansas.
THE HOUND SAYS: Well, Irene, you must get out more if your travels have taken you only as far as West Memphis, Ark. What, were you hanging around that big truck stop on that side of the Mississippi? The Hound has been told that at one time Fred Harvey restaurants were inside the Illinois oases, instead of the fast-food dreck one finds today. And, yes, the architecture of the old Illinois oases, spanning the tollways, are unique to American motoring. The newer ones, such as the one out on Interstate 88 (the Reagan) by DeKalb, are more pedestrian.