Crime: December 2008 Archives

The Hound has never been a laughingstock. Well, there was the time of mixing Red Bull with a high-octane beverage, and then butchering "My Heart Will Go On" from "The Titanic." But that was only at a karaoke bar in the county's nether regions. But Gov. Rod Blagojevich will be a laughingstock for some time, as will the State of Illinois.

Blagojevich, along with the state and us by proxy, were pillioried Tuesday night by David Letterman, Jay Leno, Jimmy Kimmel, Conan O'Brien and Stephen Colbert, to name just a few. Wonder what "Saturday Night Live" has in store for Gov. Rod "This seat's for sale" Blagojevich?

The late-night talk show hosts probably will continue on Blagojevich who was nailed by the FBI for trying to peddle the open seat of President-elect Barack Obama for some six-figure coin. Guess he must have watched "Rome" on HBO. The Romans used to sell Senate seats to the highest bidders, so the guv figured he could get away with it, too. Except this isn't Rome. Heck, it's not even Rome, Ga.

His coming indictment will bring more shame and guffaws about Illinois and our corrupt governors and public officials. What's not funny is we deserve it. We're the buffoons who keep electing these political grifters.

You know the "Land of Lincoln" slogan on Illinois license plates? The Hound suggests we replace it with "Land of Thieves".

It's more appropriate, don't you think, especially after Gov. Rod "The Mod" Blagojevich was charged Tuesday with criminal conspiracy, mail fraud and anything else the U.S. attorney's office can muster between now and when Blago and his chief of staff, John Harris, go to trial.

The Blago charges are the latest in what makes The Hound proud his doghouse is in the Prairie State and not in Wisconsin. What fun do they have in the Badger State with their politicians? How many of their governors or ex-governors have done jail time? Hah! Take that Packer fans.

So to advertise our support for continued political corruption in Illinois, we should all lobby Secretary of State Jesse White, who probably will never be indicted, to change the license plate slogan to "Land of Thieves".

While some may cluck-cluck over the governor's charges of allegedly trying to sell the open U.S. Senate seat of President-elect Obama to the highest bidder being a new low in Illinois politics, The Hound says we tout our sprees of corruption proudly. There's no better place to do so than squarely on an Illinois license plate.

Besides, The Hound thinks "Land of Thieves" has a better ring than "Land of Clout".

As a hound, The Hound is irate over poor Rupert, the Chinook sled dog who got caught in a trap somewhere in either Vernon Hills or Libertyville. Whoever put that trap in a place where dogs and kids may play should have his or her nose placed in one of those traps to see how it feels.

The Hound actually is dumbfounded that trapping still exists in parts of Lake County, especially those urbane areas of Vernon Hills and Libertyville. Who knew there was enough wildlife left to trap, considering developers, with the help of municipal officials, have paved over most of the ground cover for fur-bearing animals which once were trapped for a living.

Granted, the way this economy is going, many of us may be taking up trapping to pay the bills. That and poaching deer out-of-season to make venison sausage to tide us over until we can grow vegetables. Or shoot doves or ice fish.

While The Hound is concerned about other canines who might be caught in traps, if The Hound lived in Libertyville or Vernon Hills, The Hound also would be worried about little children who could find themselves caught in the trap. And, The Hound isn't talking about a mouse trap.