If you thought the "stick a fork in 'em" prank pulled by Zion-Benton High School seniors was bad (or good if you have a sense of humor), listen to what our Sunbelt correspondent has sent The Hound. Seems some kids in Florida did a oneupmanship on the Zee-Bees.
Students (presumably seniors) at Cypress Creek High School northeast of Orlando in Orange County, pulled a prank which has even The Hound wondering how they pulled it off. Unlike flush Illinois, or at least Zion-Benton High School, schools in the Sunshine State have portable classrooms. Apparently it's overcrowding in schools in the nation's fourth-largest state.
Whatever the reason, students at this high school took all the chairs and tables from about 20 portable classrooms and placed them neatly on the buildings' roofs. Kind of makes the Zee-Bees look like pikers. Especially considering the Florida kids weren't caught and nobody has a clue how they did it.
There are some sleuths who say the students used folded papers from class assignments to keep the windows to the portable classrooms (let's face it, those are trailers) open so later under cover of darkness they could attain their mission. Of course, the fingerpointing has begun down South on where was security.
Oh, and school officials say if they catch the culprits, they're booted and won't graduate. We've heard that before, haven't we? If you want to see footage, check out one of the Orlando TV stations, or Google Cypress Creek, The Hound's correspondent says.
So-called dog lovers certainly have their leashes all wrapped up in a knot over plans to have a real bulldog be the mascot for Waukegan High School in the very near future.
Waukegan Unit School District 60 has been bombarded with e-mails from "outraged citizens", as has The News-Sun, The Hound has been told. Most of them don't live here and are concerned about the dog's mental state.
The Hound says: Chew on a Milk Bone for awhile, will you.
Waukegan High students voted for a flesh-and-blood mascot, an American, not an English bulldog, and picked a brindle-colored puppy. School officials have high hopes for the so-far-unnamed mascot. Besides being paraded around at various sporting events, it will be used as a partner dog in special ed classes. During the day it will have a dog house at the school being built by woodshop classes and at night go home with a faculty member.
The anti-mascot patrol believes this is a bad thing because? How many of these so-called dog lovers leave their dogs home all day when they're at work or put them in a kennel when they vacation?
He without sin shouldn't cast the first kibbles at this mascot plan, which The Hound, who should know about such things, heartily endorses. Arff!
Before all you educational folks go ga-ga for President-elect Obama's pick for secretary of education, Arne Duncan, head of the Chicago Public Schools system, perhaps you missed this story from last week. With all the glare over Rod Blagojevich and Roland Burris, the story about CPS employees who bent district rules to spend $67,000 for 30 cappuccino machines that mainly weren't used was overlooked by many of us.
Yup, the school district always complaining suburban Chicago districts spend more in per-pupil education and how it's sooooo unfair (Sen. James Meeks, D-Chicago, where are you on this one?), bought these coolio coffee machines for a culinary arts program. Since the fine coffee machines were purchased, 22 hadn't been opened, one mysteriously disappeared and three were in use --- but not in the culinary arts program!
The Hound has to note that the CPS inspector general uncovered this obvious waste of Chicago taxpayers' money and determined that CPS employees split the purchases to stay under the district's level for competitive bids. On top of that, the school district overpaid for the machines by $12,000. Now that's some expensive cups of joe.
One worker was fired and three others are facing disciplinary action for the purchases. But, consider this when you hear the yearly lament after classes start next fall that Chicago schools get shortchanged.when it comes to school funding. Coffee, anyone?
The Hound watches with amazement as President-elect Obama is packing his cabinet with two more Illinosans. This in the midst of the state being the butt of every late-night comedian. Chicago Public Schools Chief Executive Officer Arne Duncan was tabbed Tuesday as education secretary, while retiring Republican Congressman Ray LaHood of Peoria is expected to be named transportation secretary today.
But, The Hound is more interested in Mr. Duncan, who has run the CPS for the past seven years. Let's all bring what we've learned in the Chicago school system to Washington, D.C. This is a school system where kids get shot going to and from class; where state Sen. James Meeks told students to boycott classes this fall because funding is nowhere near the levels of suburban schools, most notably New Trier High School.
Of anyone, Duncan should know that if Chicago parents could enroll their kids in suburban schools, they'd do so in a New York minute. The district is top-heavy with administrators and beholden to the teachers' union. Sort of like the U.S. Department of Education.
The Hound is certain there were probably more-qualified candidates for the education job --- like Paul Vallas, Duncan's former CPS boss who also has headed Philadelphia and New Orleans school systems. But only the Harvard-educated Duncan plays a mean hoops game, which the new president enjoys engaging in. Let's see if Duncan can slam-dunk the nation's educational problems.
For some time there has been a feeling in this country that language discourse has dropped to a level befitting Cro-Magnon men and women. Teachers have blamed television for this and now have a new culprit in the cell phone and text messaging. Yet, they need look no further than our politicians.
Consider the salty language used by "Lightning Rod" Blagojevich as heard by FBI agents who taped the governor's devious and many shake-down conversations. Talk about your f-bombs. Several longshoremen at the Port of Chicago were appalled at the governor's art of swearing. Even U.S. Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald parsed the "bleeping" words during his press conference earlier this week.
While certainly our public officials can swear with the best of them, it is slightly shocking to hear our governor call our next president a dirty name. He has to do something bad to get called that name. The Hound has heard George Bush called nasty names on numerous occasions by people whose IRAs and 401 (k)s are sinking faster than the soon-to-be-ex-president's legacy.
But it seems not only does the governor --- a graduate of Northwestern University --- have a potty mouth, but so does his lovely wife, Patti. Hope they don't use that type of foul language around their kids. That would be a real class in language arts .
Where were all those folks pushing for a charter high school in Waukegan the other night when the District 60 school board quashed opening one in the city? Supposedly, hundreds of parents wanted their kids to attend this charter school proffered by a Chicago-based charter school group. From the picture in The News-Sun, The Hound has seen more people at a cat fight.
Rejecting the charter school was no surprise, but one would think there would have been voices raised at the school board session in its defense after officials released their 21-page analysis of the proposal. After all, who wants to lose tax dollars?
Time will tell if this was a good decision. Certainly, the folks who were backing it will think twice about asking the state to go ahead with the project. After all, why would you work to get a charter school in a community that doesn't want you?
The grand "small learning communities" plan has been touted as a better alternative than a charter high school. Let's see if this plan raises test scores and gives the city's students a better education than a charter school. As one parent told The Hound: "The city has to do something to make the schools inviting so people stay in the community and want to move into the community."
The ball is now in the "small learning communities" court, so to speak.
In the middle of prep football playoffs and girls' volleyball playoffs, The Hound learns there is a prep bass fishing tournament for high school anglers. Huh? What's next, hunting tournaments?
Perhaps The Hound is old school, but what gives with this Illinois High School Association sanctioning bass fishing. Must have been a big lobbying push by the downstate schools near those big impoundments of Rend Lake or Carlyle Lake. What else could be behind this?
OK, The Hound knows California high schools have surf teams and schools in Wyoming, Montana, Texas and other Western states have rodeo teams which compete in tournaments. Some Western colleges even offer rodeo scholarships.
But bass fishing? This sounds fishy, yet Antioch, Grant, Grayslake North, Warren, Lakes, Libertyville, Wauconda, Waukegan and Zion-Benton are fielding bass fishing teams. Betcha that letterman's sweater is tough to come by.
And what happened to Mundelein High? Diamond Lake has plenty of fish for practice sessions. Or it used to.
The IHSA says 214 school across Illinois have signed up for next spring's bass tourney. Start practicing now, folks, and sharpen those hooks. The Hound knows some preps who might like to see fish finders under the Christmas tree. Even so, it's still fishy.
The Hound surely likes prep football as well as any other mutt, but this football playoff system is causing a case of the fantods. This system is dragging out longer than the NBA playoffs. Or worse, the NHL playoffs. At this rate, Antioch's fine Sequoit squad might be playing in December for the 6A state title.
It's taken the Sequoits several weeks to get to the final four pairings and if they win again on Saturday against defending 6A state champ Lemont, they'll have to play another game for the title. Here's the problem: The IHSA.
The IHSA allows teams who win five games to be playoff eligible. Five games? Who can't win five games? OK, the once-mighty Mundelein Mustangs didn't and haven't for a few years. But what gives with the five games? Less teams in the pool means less games and a quicker route to the championship.
Unless the IHSA is hoping to boost attendance and gate receipts for area high schools. If so, say so from the start and don't dance around the end zone about why these playoffs drag out until the gales of November, along with snow showers, are blowing.
The Hound has heard some lame excuses over the years, but the reason Waukegan High School postponed its non-conference tilt Saturday with Maine East was the district didn't want to tear up Weiss Field. The district's groundskeeper must be The Turfinator to run that one by school officials and get it approved.
The reasoning, The Hound was told, is that playing in the drenching rain would devastate the field for the rest of the season. Twenty-two players would chew up the turf, leaving it a grassy, muddy mess. So. If it's that bad for the next game, just spray paint what's left. Start thinking out of the box. After all, you are educators.
The Hound didn't notice a whole lot of dry grass on Monday afternoon, when the rescheduled game was played. So instead of playing in the rain, the molly-coddling district turned tough high school footballers into a bunch of namby-pambies.
The Hound can hear future opponents: They were afraid to get wet! They're afraid of mud! They might have wrecked the field! And that's the clean ones.
Then again, this might have been a field of dreams. The last time The Hound checked, the Bulldogs were pummeling Maine East on Monday afternoon by a score of 41-7. Maybe two-and-half-days of rest was good for the players and for the sod, which wasn't busted.
School District 128 officials are proposing to drop the class ranking system at Libertyville and Vernon Hills high schools. That's it, just keep mollycoddling these kids to believe that out there in the big, bad world that there's no rankings. Somebody should pull rank on these boneheads.
District 128 officials aren't the first ones to go to this "everybody's special" philosophy and they probably won't be the last. Carmel, Deerfield, Highland Park, Lake Forest and Warren Township high schools in Lake County already have moved to this one-size-fits all system.
District 128 officials think that having class rankings puts Wildcats and Cougars at a disadvantage when applying for colleges and universities. The focus should be on grade point average, they say, because class rank only compares students to their fellow students. The logic is that elimination of class rank will improve students' opportunities in the college admissions process.
Well, if that's the case, just don't have them take the ACTs or SATs. Then they can get into college with their charm and good looks. It's not like there aren't rankings when they get into college. Or, how about job rankings, team rankings and military rank.
The Hound can't believe Libertyville and Vernon Hills high students are under-prepared and can't compete with the creme de la creme for the top spots at the nation's universities. Parents pay enough taxes to ensure that, don't they?
With no ranking, that means no valedictorian and nothing to work to achieve, except those straight A's and four-point averages in advanced placement courses. That'll show those college placement officials. And, it sounds like high school counselors won't have to do the math to figure out class rankings. Now, that's the ticket.
