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Every news network went live Friday so we could all watch a horn dog apologize to us for cheating on his wife with women, some which included porn stars. Should The Hound care? Nope, but Tiger Woods' sponsors sure do.

No mistake, the world's top golfer didn't do his mea culpa for his fans, the PGA or his wife. He did it to protect a withering franchise. And, like Toyota, his motoring company is floundering. Tiger didn't stray too far from his script that he was sorry, soooooo sorry. Well, who isn't when they get caught?

His public apology should have been done a few days after he crashed his Cadillac Escalade right after Thanksgiving just outside his Orlando-area mansion. Who's this guy's handlers? Especially considering all his girlfriends came forward days after the run-in with wife Elin, most of us knew he had cheated on his wife.

At least Tiger didn't cry crododile tears like most of these celebrities do after they err. He gets an eagle from The Hound for retaining the last bit of dignity he has --- on or off the course.

Is anyone seriously shocked that a father would use his kids to finagle his way into a "reality show"? The Hound isn't. This is what happens to people when they get that first taste of 15 minutes of fame. They then want a half hour.

Colorado authorities are weighing felony charges against Ballon Boy's dad, Richard Heene, after he reported to police his 6-year-old son drifted away in a space-alien looking helium balloon made in his back yard. During media interviews, the kid blurted out the stunt was for "the show" which got investigators digging. Now they think the whole thing was a hoax in order to get on a reality show.

After all, the family was on "Wife Swap" not once, but twice! It's enough torture to watch that program, let alone putting your family through it twice. And, let's not overlook former Gov. Rod Blagojevich's attempt to get on Donald Trump's "Celebrity Apprentice" show. Blago's wife, Patti, was one of those on "I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here!" where "celebrities" were dropped into the jungle and then had to cope.

It was one of the lamest shows and the celebrities didn't even include Kathy Griffin, and she's on the D-List. The Hound was forced to watch "I'm a Celebrity" for news value and had to bail after episode two. Yuck, and to think Patti nearly drowned!

A federal judge appears to be willing to allow Blago to appear with Trump in the program scheduled for March 2010 if he'll agree not to spout his innocence of trying to peddle a U.S. Senate seat to the highest bidder. Prosecutors say he's trying to taint the jury pool.

What else would a reality "star" be doing now that reality has set in for the former guv?

The Hound has returned from an extended stay in Denmark after the International Olympic Commitee dashed the hopes of Chicago Mayor Daley, talk show maven Oprah Winfrey, President Obama and the twin villages of Old Mill Creek and Wadsworth. If you have never been to Denmark, The Hound recommends it. It's sort of like Wisconsin, but without Packers fans.

Old Mill Creek would have been the site of the equestrian events during the 2016 Summer Games, although Wadsworth would have been the beneficiary of some of the spillover and certainly Gurnee and Waukegan, with their hotel spaces. Instead, they'll be doing dressage and jumping fences in Rio.

The Hound has never been to Rio de Janeiro, but knows someone who once traveled there for Carnivale. On the Ipanema Beach, he was accosted and was the victim of a female pickpocket. Or at least that was his story and he's stuck to it ever since.

The Hound was a full-blown Olympics supporter, and will be boycotting next year's Winter Games in Vancouver. The Hound also is considering boycotting NBC, but why bother? Most viewer already are.

As for the reason Chicago and the United States lost the 2016 bid it is simple: Rio is in South America, a continent which has never hosted an Olympics, and the rest of the world hates us. Despite the rock star status of President Obama, he couldn't close the deal because, outside of our culture and money, the U.S. is disliked by nearly everyone around the world --- except the Saudis. And they did so before George Bush made it worse with the invasion of Iraq.

Will there be a 2020 U.S. Olympic bid? Not from Chicago, The Hound predicts.

Like a Roman emperor, Waukegan Mayor Robert Sabonjian is offering the city's citizens bread and circuses to perhaps keep their minds busy with extracurricular activities. This at a time when the city's finances appear to be on shaky ground, to say the least. Not that a deficit budget and high-interest loans are any of his doing. He's cleaning up those messes.

Sabonjian suggested this week some sort of motorsports event --- a road race or circuit --- on city streets next year. Folks in his administration are meeting with folks who apparently can make this happen. Except for a few things, Mayor Bob has a sound plan.

Those few things happen to be what this economy has done to auto racing in the U.S., whether it be NASCAR, IndyCar or Grand Prix events. They're hurting, to say the least. Sponsor money has dried up, along with the evaporation of racing venues.

The Milwaukee Mile, aka the Rex Mays Classic, usually held at the Wisconsin State Fairgrounds in West Allis the weekend after the Indy 500, has been off the map for several years. The Detroit Grand Prix is DOA. The Chicagoland Speedway in Joliet hosted a NASCAR event earlier this summer and will do an IndyCar event later this month. To fill the stands for this race, promoters made sure race fans bought a package ticket to go with the NASCAR race.

It's a tough market out there for racing events and it also should be noted the schedules for race dates for major events certainly already have been set for 2010. Which Waukegan residents should be grateful.

Putting together a race which could draw thousands for a weekend, the logistics involved and closing city streets needs a bit more planning than a year, The Hound believes. This isn't Scoopin' Genesee, after all.

The Hound understands Mayor Bob's need for speed, but there's more important races to run at the present.

It would appear the Zion City Council has gotten themselves in a bit of a bind by rejecting a special-use permit for the Dungeon of Doom, a creepy haunted house set to open next month in the old Warwick Building of Deborah Avenue. It certainly would be a better tale if the building was once the Warlock Building, don't you think?

But such naming would never happen in Zion because the Warwick Building dates back to Alexander Dowie and the founding of Zion City, if The Hound recalls what the geezers were talking about the other day. One question for the good burghers of Zion, though: Why did you reject something you originally sought to lure into the city? Yes, before the city's religious leaders caught wind of the black magic being brought to Zion, the planning and zoning commission endorsed the Dungeon of Doom with a 5-to-1 vote. It was a conditional vote, meaning that officials would see how things went this fall and the promoters would have to come back next year for permanent approval.

Forsooth, the city's economic development commisson actually pursued the developers to bring the fright house to Zion, which may leave a gap in the City Council's rejection of the Dungeon of Doom. If the economic development commission was pursuing bringing this attraction into Zion to inject some zombie-like life into the Warwick Building, then The Hound would only conjure the mayor and members of the City Council had an inkling what was going on. Especially since the application was filed in April. Nobody raised red flags about demonic goings on back then.

Mayor Lane Harrison saying he was urging rejection of the special permit because of traffic and neighborhood concerns in a neighborhood once surrounded by traffic generated from the Warwick Building and the nearby nuclear plant rings hollow to The Hound. A good lawyer might have a nice argument that a contract had been entered into with the economic development folks reaching out to the dungeon's promoters. Then again, who knows?

One thing The Hound knows: If Six Flags was in Zion, there wouldn't be a Fright Fest this year --- or in eternity. Hope The Fielders don't have a bat night next year. Bats could be equated to Dracula and you know what could happen then: Boo!

While we've elevated Michael Jackson to sainthood, The Hound believes there is only one real way to celebrate the King of Pop's legacy: A federal holiday.

U.S. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has put the kibosh on a House resolution honoring Jackson, who died at the fairly young age of 50. The jury, or at least the toxicology report, is still out to determine how he died. Who cares? Well, besides members of the Jackson clan.

Sister LaToya Jackson told London newspapers over the weekend that she is certain her brother was murdered by a group of conspirators trying to get hold of his fortune. She even said she knows who is responsible for his death. However, she did not name any of the people she believes were involved and did not offer any evidence to support her claim that foul play was involved in the singer's sudden death June 25.

Getting back to this federal holiday honoring Michael Jackson, The Hound believes it is a worthy goal. How else to mark this man's greatness. The Hound offers June 25 as the date to mark it because, sadly, there's no three-day holidays in June.

Oh, The Hound can hear you naysayers griping that Michael Jackson was nothing but a perv and a flashy entertainer whose career was under the radar screen unless he was indicted and in court on various charges dealing with fondling kids. So? We have a holiday in October where we celebrate the man who began the downfall of Native Americans in both the Northern and Southern hemispheres.

The Hound isn't saying Michael Jackson's contribution to the world wasn't greater than that of Christopher Columbus, but did the Italian explorer moonwalk? That alone deserves a special day of recognition for Michael Jackson, don't you think? And, if the feds don't mark this special man with a special day, there's always Indiana and a statewide holiday for the Hoosiers.

If former Chicago Cub and White Sox Sammy Sosa tested positive for a performance-enhancing drug, is anybody really shocked? From all the cries of, "Sammy, say it ain't so!" you'd think people weren't paying attention back in 1998 when Sosa and St. Louis Cardinal Mark McGwire chased Roger Maris' record of 61 home runs in a season.

To The Hound, both those guys looked pretty bulked up back then. McGwire eclipsed the Maris mark, while Sosa finished with 66 round-trippers that season. The next year Sammy blasted 63, then 50 in 2000, 64 in 2001 and 49 in 2002. Remember the "Cork Bat Affair" in playoff year of 2003? He hit 40 that year.

Sosa testified before the House Government Reform Committee investigating steroid use in Major League Baseball in 2005 stating, "I have been tested as recently as 2004, and I am clean. To be clear, I have never taken illegal performance-enhancing drugs." The New York Times report of Sosa testing positive for the drugs said it happened in 2003. Heck, if he was taking them then, he should have hit 60 homers and led the Cubs to a World Series berth, right?

Instead he did a salsa dance before the congressional committee, choosing his words and dates carefully. If he took 'roids back then, it's history. The idea is to stop current players from using them.

And, if a handful of names have leaked from this anonymous survey some government bureaucrat has, let's see all of the names. The Hound wants to know who are all the 104 players who allegedly used performance-enhancing drugs. Let's get beyond this latest taint on Major League Baseball and give us the names.

The geezers at the paper pound have a saying about the morning radio program on WGN-AM, 720: That since Wally Phillips paved the way, a monkey could sit in that drive time and still rack up the ratings. That has proven true through the late Bob Collins, Spike O'Dell and now John Williams. It's the rest of the station that is hurting as bad as its fellow members of old-line media.

Not that The Hound feels sorry for anything owned by the Tribune Co., but yanking the "Kathy & Judy" program unceremoniously off the air on May 22 certainly should be a shock to the system of anyone thinking of majoring in broadcasting over print journalism. The reason, according to the WGN program director, was the station is moving in a new direction and wants to attract a younger audience. Yea, like that's going to happen.

Like print media, broadcast media is facing challenges daily. WGN certainly hasn't been the only radio outlet to feel the pain. WKRS-AM 1220 let go some of its on-air personalities recently and in the process becoming the "non-Talk of Lake County". On the FM dial, "Smooth Jazz" on WNUA, 95.5, is now a Spanish-language station. WNUA changed format just as the girllfriends left the AM airwaves.

Note to WGN programmers: Young people don't listen to AM radio. They listen to podcasts, their iPods or Sansa Fuzes, HD radio, satellite radio. You're doomed. Go back to the geezers while you still have the chance.

As for the girlfriends, they were pulling down a cool $400,000 each a year, plus benefits. While they may be missed, The Hound wouldn't be surprised to see them surface after a hiatus, of sorts, until their contract expires on another outlet which may go for the oldster Vince and Rhonda crowd --- like the Big 89. Ah, wouldn't that be sweet revenge?

Not being folically challenged like some --- aka, a few hairless breeds --- The Hound appreciates the entrepreneurship of the Elk Grove Village firm which is now marketing hair-care products inspired by former Gov. Rod Blagojevich's mane. Is this a great country, or what?

Yes, Delta Laboratories Inc., is marketing shampoo and conditioner under the Blago label, with the motto: "It's Bleep'n Golden!" The name refers to the quote from Blago contending the appointment to President Obama's former Illinois Senate seat was "golden".

Perhaps the company could enlist the governor, who was drummed out of office earlier this year, to endorse the product or be a pitchman for the hair care products. After all, defending oneself against charges brought by the federal government is an expensive proposition. So expensive that Blago's wife, Patti, wants to take the ex-guv's place on that NBC reality show being filmed in Costa Rica: "I'm a Celebrity and Get Me Out of Here!"

The Hound suggests the happy couple reject these superficial programs and opt for their own reality series: "The Real House Couple of Chicago."

Like Bob Seger, who celebrated a birthday this month, state Sen. Terry Link, D-Waukegan, is a gamblin' and ramblin' man, tumbling the dice one more time to get a casino in Lake County. This time, his target is Park City. Is he serious?

Park City home to a gambling den? Will city fathers bring back those late night tavern hours? Wait, Park City only has one bar, the Park Lounge. That would be a real draw for area gamblers --- not!

What's behind Sen. Link's latest scheme? He has the backing of Senate President Jon Cullerton, D-Chicago, and we all know Chicago lawmakers don't do anything unless they have the blessing of Chicago Mayor Richard M. Daley. Link's latest plan is to expand the number of state gaming licenses to include Park City, Chicago and Rockford.

He apparently has given up on Waukegan. Is this punishment for Waukegan voters electing rogue Democrat Robert Sabonjian the city's new mayor? Sabonjian the Younger doesn't seem too concerned about this snub, maintaining he has other plans (such as?) to raise millions of gambling revenue which under Link's scheme would go to Park City --- if a license is granted.

Link may have a good idea here. Park City gets the revenue, but the bulk of jobs would go to Waukeganites, undoubtedly. Park City's labor pool is, shall we say, slightly lacking.

But beyond that, where is there room for a casino is Park CIty? Waukegan offered up 32 acres at Fountain Square. The only locale for that in Park CIty would be the former Waukegan Speedway property at Washington Street and Teske Boulevard.

Wouldn't that make for a lovely gaming site, surrounded as it is with tire stores, a state salt dome, and a few junkyards, not to mention trailer parks --- oops, mobile home vistas. Besides, exactly what's underneath that land which serves as an entryway into Waukegan.

What's Link thinking? Perhaps he isn't considering he and his Democratic troops couldn't get Dick Hyde re-elected Waukegan's mayor. Link is vulnerable and a strong Democratic primary challenge the next time around could bring down this one-time powerful pol. Unless, of course, he gambles he can bring a casino to little old Park City. Ka-ching!