Sports: October 2008 Archives

The Hound was watching the Bears game Sunday, enjoying a beverage at a local pub, when one member of the TV team noted that Atlanta Falcons running back Michael "The Burner" Turner --- who the Bears contained fairly well --- was born in Waukegan, went to North Chicago High School and Northern Illinois University.

It was at that point that one of the barflies belched and then pointed out the city of Waukegan claims Turner as one of the city's native sons, right up there with Jack Benny.

"No way," The Hound retorted. "How can Waukegan claim a guy who went to North Chicago?"

"Check their Web site," the barfly grumbled. The Hound did and the barfly was right.

Under the "celebrities from Waukegan" link on the city of Waukegan Web site, there was Turner, right under the late actress Janice Rule, and next to filmmaker Greg Strause. Apparently, Turner was born at either then-Victory Memorial Hospital or St. Therese Medical Center. That qualifies one as being a Waukegan legend?

If that's the case, aforementioned Janice Rule was born near Cincinnati, Ohio. Maybe she lived in Waukegan while a dancer at Chicago clubs back in the '50s, but The Hound sure would like to know her tie. The city also claims actress Lolita Davidovich as one of its own, although she was born in Canada. What's the logic there? She's Serbian, therefore some Serbs live in Waukegan, therefore she's from Waukegan?

Barack Obama was born in Hawaii, but you don't see him going around claiming to be Hawaiian. John McCain was born in the Panama Canal Zone. You don't see him saying he's Panamanian.

So what's the deal, Waukegan? Is the city that hard up it has to swipe folks from nearby communities to add to the roster of famous Waukeganites? The city doesn't have enough sports heroes so city officials beef up the requirements to be a member of their highly subjective "honor roll"?

The Hound may start calling some of these folks --- the ones still alive --- and asking them about Waukegan's place in their hearts. City folks might not like the answers.

The Hound now knows what his older siblings, aunts, uncles, grandpas and grandmas felt like as the Cubs and Sox both folded early in the baseball playoffs: No expectations.

What the &*^%$#@! happened here? Should The Hound start rooting for the Kane County Cougars or the Area 51s in Vegas? It should be noted The Hound predicted the Cubs' demise because of West Coast voodoo. The Hound didn't expect that West Coast gris-gris to include the Gulf Coast of Florida as the Devil Rays took the best-of-five series. Does one detect a satanic underpinning here?

OK, we move on and ignore the chaos theory, curses and just plain not prepared for the post-season for the second year for the Cubs and since ought five when the South Side hitmen ruled the roost. Dare The Hound utter those sorry words: Wait until next year. Or as Leo Durocher once said: "Back up the truck."

Well, the Bears are in first in the old black and blue division of the NFC --- for the time being.

As for those of you who, like The Hound, had no expectations, The Hound offers the original thanks to the world's greatest rock n' roll band:

Take me to the station
And put me on a train
I've got no expectations
To pass through here again

Once I was a rich man and
Now I am so poor
But never in my sweet short life
Have I felt like this before

You heart is like a diamond
You throw your pearls at swine
And as I watch you leaving me
You pack my peace of mind

Our love was like the water
That splashes on a stone
Our love is like our music
Its here, and then its gone

So take me to the airport
And put me on a plane
I got no expectations
To pass through here again

The Hound isthisclose to becoming a soccer hooligan.

What is it with the Cubs and playoff opponents from the Left Coast? Does The Hound have to refresh everyone's memory about what happened in 1984 against the San Diego Padres? How about '89 versus the San Francisco Giants. There's something going on here and there's only one explanation: Deep gris-gris.

Did The Hound fail to mention that Arizona is just a few quakes away from being beachfront and what happened when the Diamondbacks and Cubs met in the playoffs last year? Those snakes swept the Cubs.

There's only one thing to break this spell. If your heading to Wrigley Field today, grab your mojo bag and take it to the ballpark. The Z Train may need it.

Or, you could travel to the Wildfish restaurant on Waukegan Road in Deerfield and have the Cubs/Sox Celebration sushi combo which includes a Sox Roll, freshwater eel and black tobiko over spicy scallop, cucumber and avocado, and a Cubs Roll, special spicy tuna roll. That's enough raw stuff to scare any voodoo doll away.