Mike Mitchell : October 2007 Archives

Sure retailers are always shoving products down our throats.

The Christmas season is not a time for thanks, nor an alms to Jesus Christ. It's a time to spend money, and spend more.

To refrain from redundancy, we already know how shallow these days will become.

Temperatures continue to hover in the high 60s, and I've yet to pull a jacket out of the winter bin.

The way I see it, Christmas essentially takes up one-third of the year, nearly four months.

Surely it's that time of year where the most crooked, creepy personalities come to life in film--Halloween time.

But great villains are not just found in the horror genre. Certainly Mr. Potter in "It's a Wonderful Life" was as charming as lemon on an open wound.

Nurse Ratched from "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" was cold and numbing.

This debate has gone to great lengths in the American Film Institute's 2003 list.

But there have been characters that should have made this list--namely Bill the Butcher from "Gangs of New York" who was absolutely heinous in his portrayal as a New York mob boss during the Civil War. And there were great characters post 2003.

Yes, "American Gangster" will be a homerun at the box office--and maybe even Oscar time.

But I can't be sure, whether Denzel Washington will be remembered for being a bad guy--or for that matter, African-American actors.

Music by Cher, sassiness, good fashion-sense--none of which are found in J.K. Rowling's books.

Sure, a few homosexual cliches and stereotypes would have her readers question the sexual orientation of its characters, but cliches don't make for good writing. So it was a surprise this week when Rowling announced that Dumbledore was gay.

If you watched VH1's "A Rock of Love" over the summer, you probably know who Jes Rickleff is. Rickleff, a Naperville native, won the competition. She was charming and respectable in the midst of, well, a group of women that should be relegated to bowling alleys and Jerry Springer auditions.

But now VH1 has followed up with another reality program called "A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila"

It is a bisexual competition, pitting men against men and women against women for a shot to date Tequila, a pseudo-celebrity know primarily for posing in Maxim. There is heavy violence in this series, heavy drinking, lots of sex and other obsurdities.

So what I'm wondering is whether the American public will ever grow tired of reality TV? Isn't it redundant, predictable and completely fabricated?

Rickleff is most popular with grammar school and high school children; does that mean they are also watching this show?

Remember those days? Trick but, thanks-but-no-thanks- treats?

Growing up in Bridgeport, Chicago (Sox park area for clarity) I grew up with many Italians, Irish and Chinese.

Therefore, I did in fact receive some interesting treats.

One year I received a box of raisins, the kind that is used to make marinara sauce. Another year, I received pennies. Yes, you know how kids love 13 cents after a day of knocking on doors.

That same year, I also received a popcorn ball, out of the wrapper, an apple, tomato paste (I'm not making that up), a shoe horn from a local cigar shop that was long-rumored to be a front for illegal gambling, hence the mob; those awful brown caramels in the wrapper that were dry and hard, a candy cane (probably from last year's Christmas).

Of course, this is what happens when adults are unprepared for the holiday. I can remember the improvised actions.

The old Italian ladies were always grasping at their canned goods.

The shoe horn--thanks.

I actually ate the candy cane.

So here's a list of the 5 worst Halloween candies.

5. Apple: Sure childhood obesity is a problem nowadays, but not when I was a kid. I spend 364 days eating fairly healthy, I don't need a lesson in health on Halloween.
4. Toothpaste: Same as above.
3. Pennies: Kids are shallow most of the time. Unless you fork over a couple of dollars, currency isn't going to cut it. Spend some money on Snickers, or pretend that you're not home.
2. Jawbreakers: What the hell? Why are these still made?
1. Candy corn: Why would kids want candy that mimics a vegetable?

--Mike Mitchell

Ok, so the cat darts away and the voluptuous blonde lets out a sigh of relief. And then when she turns around a guy the size of defensive tackle--with serious rage issues--plants an ax into her like she is a cherry tree.

Gross stuff.

Predictable though.

We've all seen them before--bad horror movies. And if we've learned anything, anything at all, it's that they are not only ridiculous and illogical, but predictable. They're not scary--just gory. So I dare lob out a few terrible films that are supposed to make us scared, but they really only make us roll our eyes.

(Why is that every time a teen couple are about to have sex, they're penalized with severe torture from a villain who has a pumpkin on his head? Is he some sort of morality police?)

If you've walked into a bar the weekend before Halloween, it probably looks like a Motley Crue video or a Victoria's Secret promotion. Thing is, most of these women are just getting into the Halloween spirit. Has it gone too far?

What do you think about most costume stores not having an age requirement for some of these costumes that include garter belts, nylons and high heels?

--Mike Mitchell