Since the wedding is less than two months away (aaargh!), I've been on the lookout for suitable wedding party gifts to thank our attendants for all their help and for helping us celebrate our special day.
Needless to say, the following gifts will probably NOT make the list:
Personalized branding iron

Courtesy www.eminencellc.com.
What the hell is this? Is it a kitschy addition to Texas-themed reception or a way for modern-day Bridezillas to let the maids know who's boss? I know the (blurry) picture shows someone branding a delicious steak, but I know with about eight weeks to go until W-Day, I would be seriously tempted to stab it into someone's unsuspecting flesh. Am I right, ladies?
Bridal party thongs

Courtesy classybride.com
I find it kind of hard to believe that a site called Classy Bride would market a series of bridal party thongs towards unsuspecting wives-to-be. I know I'm not representative of all brides, but of my six attendants, three of them are relatives, and the youngest is 14. Purchasing these would be making a huge assumption on the preferences of my closest friends' personal grooming habits. Also I think they would look on me a little strangely were I to present them with a gift of jeweled underwear at the rehearsal dinner.
Also, boxer-briefs for groomsmen. I'm sorry, but I'm only interested in the underthings of one guy across the aisle, and it ain't a groomsman.
A man-shortie?

Courtesy www.rumors.com
Normally, I wouldn't have an issue with a nice comfy robe. What bothers me, however, is that this was found on a page of groomsman favors.
Best man, indeed.
Engraved beer koozie

Courtesy www.arttowngifts.com
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the sight of God, to join together this beer and this bridesmaid in the holy matrimony of cold booze and dry hands for ever and ever. Amen."