Since the wedding is less than two months away (aaargh!), I've been on the lookout for suitable wedding party gifts to thank our attendants for all their help and for helping us celebrate our special day.
Needless to say, the following gifts will probably NOT make the list:
Personalized branding iron
Courtesy www.eminencellc.com.
What the hell is this? Is it a kitschy addition to Texas-themed reception or a way for modern-day Bridezillas to let the maids know who's boss? I know the (blurry) picture shows someone branding a delicious steak, but I know with about eight weeks to go until W-Day, I would be seriously tempted to stab it into someone's unsuspecting flesh. Am I right, ladies?
Bridal party thongs
Courtesy classybride.com
I find it kind of hard to believe that a site called Classy Bride would market a series of bridal party thongs towards unsuspecting wives-to-be. I know I'm not representative of all brides, but of my six attendants, three of them are relatives, and the youngest is 14. Purchasing these would be making a huge assumption on the preferences of my closest friends' personal grooming habits. Also I think they would look on me a little strangely were I to present them with a gift of jeweled underwear at the rehearsal dinner.
Also, boxer-briefs for groomsmen. I'm sorry, but I'm only interested in the underthings of one guy across the aisle, and it ain't a groomsman.
A man-shortie?
Courtesy www.rumors.com
Normally, I wouldn't have an issue with a nice comfy robe. What bothers me, however, is that this was found on a page of groomsman favors.
Best man, indeed.
Engraved beer koozie
Courtesy www.arttowngifts.com
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the sight of God, to join together this beer and this bridesmaid in the holy matrimony of cold booze and dry hands for ever and ever. Amen."
Mallory Medved is an assistant managing editor of weekly publications for
the Sun-Times News Group. She helps cover the Lincoln-Way area and towns
southwest of Joliet. Being naturally nosy has led her to a career in
journalism and fulfilled her dream of getting paid to read. Being a new
homeowner and a future bride, she's also perpetually broke, but enjoys
hearing about other people in the same situation. She lives in Plainfield
but is a native of New Lenox.
Christina Chapman is a Will County resident who desperately wants to live in Grundy County. But since she lost that battle with her boyfriend when they bought a house, she makes due covering Grundy County news for The Herald News in Joliet. When not covering municipal meetings, school events and finding the truth behind the latest coffee talk, she is trying to balance life as a young home owner who is fighting the stereotype that she is living in sin because she is not yet married. She hopes to share with you her perspective on life and the news in hopes that you’ll share yours.
I want to say that my six bridesmaides would appreciate the beer holder.
But I would probably not be able to present it at the rehersal dinner.