Five things I've figured out today...

1) I need to stay off of any Cubs-related blogs, websites and message boards. The collective intelligence of many of the people I have encountered recently borders on the ridiculous and it is driving me batty. Sometimes I'm wondering if I'm living in an alternate universe from the rest of them. In mine the team is in first place in the division and are on pace to win 99 games. In theirs...

* Lou has no idea about how to put together a batting order, despite the fact the Cubs are one of the one of the highest-scoring teams in the league.
* Derrek Lee never gets hits at the right time, despite the fact he is on pace for close to 40 homers and 120 RBIs. Oh yeah, that even though Kosuke Fukudome is an on-base machine (.426 OBP) and has either started and/or kept alive more rallies this year than any player in recent team history, he is overrated for the same reason.
* Alfonso Soriano and Aramis Ramirez need to both be traded, ASAP.
* Jim Edmonds is going to make the team better, even though he is slower in the field and has a lower batting average than Felix Pie, the guy he is replacing.
* Matt Murton is the final piece to the Cubs' World Series puzzle.
* And so on. See what I mean?

The team is actually GOOD! Shouldn't we Cub fans be enjoying this? Even a little?

2) Big Brown might be the coolest name for a horse ever. Maybe it's because he is so good, but the name just screams "I'm going to whip your...". Then again, he is so good, his name could be I'm A Steaming Pile Of Donkey Crap and I would probably think that was cool, too. I'm easily amused.

3) If it rains in Indianapolis Saturday (as is expected), Sunday's Indy 500 time trials -- with 22 starting spots still up for grabs -- could be one of the most dramatic days at the Brickyard in recent memory. Which will then be surpassed by next Sunday's race, the first unified open-wheel 500 in 13 years. My early-line pick to click? Dan Wheldon.

4) If Cedric Benson were a 1,500-yard back we wouldn't be having any of the discussions that have been dominating the sports pages for the last week. Then again, if he were a 1,500-yard back he would have probably gotten off with a warning. And, if he had half as much heart as Earl Campbell, who criticized him yesterday for his actions, he would probably be a 1,500-yard back.

5) If it weren't for the likes of Calvin Murphy (14 illegitimate kids), Travis Henry (nine) and Shawn Kemp (seven), I might think that Lance Briggs is one of the dumbest pro athletes on the planet. Doesn't the guy ever drive past a Walgreens?