The Daily Dose: May 2008 Archives

this could lead to all kinds of answers, but I have a pretty good one...

i'm coming back from enthralling Class AA IHSA girls soccer in Napes i stop by the corner gas station for some coffee and i get out of the car and what do i hear?

that's right. Me So Horny

that song is truly, truly special when you're standing in line for a Cup O' Joe and people are pumping gas and buying Red Bull.

And it's nice to see the Bulls jump on the bandwagon by adding a little Fire and Passion to the mix with Dougy C. I only wish he would rock the perm again....

Speaking of fire ... or matches...or lighters...here's hoping Joakim kept the incense from his hair when he was blazin' down in F-L-A....Noah.bmp

You cannot make this stuff up.
"A veteran sumo wrestler who attacked a junior grappler with a cooking utensil has been ordered to take a salary cut for his violent outburst."

So many things about sports frustrate me - MMA...Juan Uribe...incessant whining (name any player, any team, any sport), countless off-the-field incidents (name any Noah, Bengal or Pacman)...and then this, which counts as an "off-the-mat incident" but is just insanely funny....

Toyozakura, 34, apologized after admitting he used a ladle to hit the apprentice on the head.
"I asked him to do something, which I don't remember exactly, but he couldn't do it," Toyozakura said, according to Agence France-Presse.

I'm tired of reading this crap...

And this crap...

Look - sometimes, it's just over, or as Hawk likes to say 'OVAH!'

If you're an athlete, you get old. That's not good, but you can't avoid it. Back in the day (like the 90's and early 00's) you could stave it off with some well cycled 'roids or HGH. But not now. ... but back back in the day, the ol' school, when you got old, you turned to suck.

ask Willie Mays. Ask Carlton Fisk and Fred McGriff as well as thousands of other baseball players who you know, got old and retired.....

That's what happens when you get old in sports. Guys today don't realize this. And for some reason, us media folks don't realize it. So we continue to feed their enormous egos by saying "you should still be playing" or "why don't these old sucky guys have jobs?"

HelllllLOOO - old = bad = no one wants you on their team. Get over it.

why not?
the Cubs are - I cannot believe that the Cubs told their fans in left field to not say anything mean to Alfonso Soriano, or they'd be ejected. I heard this today on the radio and my jaw dropped.

That's the dumbest thing I've heard since I heard the Cubs were going to sign the decrepit Jim Edmonds...oh wait....

Just because 'So can't catch, or because he can't run doesn't mean that the team has a right to tell its paying customers what they can and cannot say when they're at the game. It's absurd.

"":http://sports.espn.go.com/sports/tennis/french08/columns/story?id=3411935&lpos=spotlight&lid=tab3pos1these things - my top 10 lists of sports crap that they try and jam down our throats just because we have a day off.

1. Tennis
2. Horse racing
3. Auto racing
4. Lacrosse?
5. Dancing with a Dolphin, some people _still _think this matters...
6. Do you know who Mike Jarvis is? 1...2....3....- ok,i know you don't. that's fine. I barely recall who he is...yet we have to know he's "back" What?
7. A pro athlete procreated...."named the kid after himself":http://footballrecruiting.rivals.com/viewprospect.asp?pr_key=67823...so people know who the kid is...surprised? me neither. so what?
8. more auto racing....
9-10. Golfers don't play in tournaments're independent contractors. who gives a crap. Let me know when they do play...geez...and then finally, all the people who play fantasy golf that this affects on a weekly basis. Fantasy golf? Look, I love the sport, but that's way, waaay nerdier than fantasy baseball and football...sorry.

something happened in sports that was worth my time - and yours - and its good enough to be three days worth of Daily Dose....

To me, these are the "dog days" of sport. Who gives a crap about the NBA playoffs anymore? The baseball season is still too early to get excited about. Nothing doing in golf. I heard there's some kind of thing where cars drive around in Indy, but with gas over $4 a gallon, that's off right?

It's so bad right now that I heard some people trying to make a big deal about a soccer match overseas. Riiiiiiggghtt.

Then, thankfully, a minor league baseball team stepped up to the plate by dealing a player for 10 baseball bats. And it was John Odom - no, not that John Odom - who was holed up in a hotel because of immigration issues.

This type of stuff used to happen all the time back in the day - guys getting traded for suits, bats, balls, cleats...whatever was needed. It's just that nowadays, we assume teams have everything they need - like bats.

Here's hoping Odom is a good sport and signs the bats that i'm sure will be handed to him when he arrives at his new destination.

The big baseball schools in the Beacon News coverage area continued winning this evening, with 3A schools Kaneland, Aurora Central Catholic and Marmion and 4A schools Geneva and West Aurora advancing to regional finals on Saturday.

Marmion and ACC will play each other, and the Cadets are winners of nine in a row and 15 of their last 18. The winner will advance into the Rochelle Sectional.

12th seeded West Aurora upset No. 5 Downers Grove North. The Blackhawks will have their hands full in the Hinsdale Central Regional final with No. 4 Lincoln-Way East.

Geneva is hosting Bartlett in its own regional, but though the Vikings are favored, Bartlett is coming out of the very tough UEC - that should be a good game.

Kaneland put 9 runs across the board to come back and beat Dixon tonight, and will face Western Sun Conference rival Sycamore. That should be a great contest.

On the local golf scene, Matt Slowinski of Glen Oak Country Club defeated Hans Larson of Westmoreland Country Club 2 & 1in the final of the Illinois PGA's Match Play Championship at Kemper Lakes.

Spent the weekend out in the Quad Cities to attend the media day for the PGA Tour stop in Silvis, the John Deere Classic.

With no BMW Championship this year, this is the only chance for golf fans to catch the highest level of the sport.

(Now, the Nationwide Tour's Bank of America Open is no slouch either, as the top notch field will include many PGA Tour members that couldn't get into the Memorial.)

But there is something to be said about being at a PGA Tour event, and having covered the JDC for years, it is unique. First, it's a lot hillier than Dubsdread at Cog Hill - so wear comfortable shoes. And you will see really good golf - that's a guarantee.

From out here, the drive is very nice. It's over 2 hours, sure, and with gas prices what they are, that's something to consider. But, you can get a hotel room cheap and you won't find the type of crowds you get at Cog Hill (unless you want to follow Iowa native Zach Johnson). And, it's a simple trek - I-88 pretty much ends right at TPC and a Ramada.

There are casinos down there, and other nice places to visit and golf - definitely worth your time to go out there in July.

I want to thank head pro Kevin Kwak and Crow Valley Golf Club in Davenport, for hosting some of us media folk for a great day of golf on Sunday. The course is fabulous, and the greens were rolling at a mere 10.3. If the name sounds familiar, it is - Crow Valley was the host of the first Quad City Open.

Monday was media day at TPC Deere Run where defending champ Jonathan Byrd made an appearance. Having played this course a handful of times, I highly recommend it.

Speaking of recommendations, if you want to have some fun and have time to kill tomorrow, the first major of the Illinois PGA's season is underway and will finish up tomorrow at Kemper Lakes.

The semi-finals of the Match Play will begin at 8 am with the Finals slated for Noon.
Head out there for some great golf, especially since Westmoreland Country Club's Hans Larson is making a great run. He started the tournament as the 104th seed, after all.
Here's who is left: (104),Hans Larson,Westmoreland CC, (4) Darren Stanek,Oak Club of Genoa, (15),Simon Allan,Westmoreland CC and (3),Matt Slowinski,Glen Oak CC.

I can't believe I just watched the Bulls get the No. 1 overall pick in the upcoming NBA draft.

Normally, I don't give a crap about this type of thing - but the idea of getting Chicago native Derrick Rose to run the point in this new era in the NBA actually got me fired up as a Bulls fan.

Wow.

people were wondering what could be worse than the Sox propping up some blowup dolls with bats in order to break out of their slump...

well, there are worse things.

because say what you want about blowup dolls, at least they were being shared by Louisville sluggers - not various White Sox.

The same can't be said about Jason Giambi's floss. in this age of too much information, this was way, way too much information. Way.

Here are the videos from this week's Four Corners....

Mike Gundy

Jim Mora

Allen Iverson

Bobby Knight - Parental discretion strongly advised, because Bobby is really, really not happy about losing to #^&*@* Purdue.

This is part of what makes pro sports great - grown men acting like children, but with the funds to act like children in a really, really funny way (and no, there is no blowup doll in this blog)...Griffey Pennies.bmp

Ken Griffey Jr. paid up a debt to former Sox hurler and current Reds teammate Josh Fogg in a great way - in change! Which got me thinking of Seinfeld, naturally, and how many times change was used in the name of hilarity!

Pennies can also be used for "jacking" - which creates the need for reverse peepholes...

i'll admit, i cruise around espn.com quite a bit looking for sports stories that catch my eye, but there is something that always intrigued me on every baseball page of that site...

at the bottom of each story is an advertisement for ring tones about that particular subject, whether it be "Tampa Bay Devil Rays Ringtones" (yes, that's what it says) .. no word on if the ringtone is actually crickets with an echo...

i'm sure someone is dying for "NASCAR Ringtones" ... I wonder how many rings it would take for one of those guys to run through all their sponsors...

I was saddened to see that there were no "Golf Ringtones" - how fun would it be to get Verne Lundquist's "Yes sir!" on Jack's putt in '86 or his "Oh Wow, In your life have you seen anything like that" on Tiger's chip, or even a Rory Sabbatini soundbite saying "Tiger is more beatable than ever!"...or a snippet of John Daly singing in a Hooters Tent...

There's no "Horse Racing Ringtone", which presumably means no "Secretariat has opened a 22-length lead!" or the occasional shotgun blast...

Sorry - no "New England Patriot Ringtones", though there is a webcam/video option available in which Bill Belichick can only see you...when you're not looking...

anyway...curiosity finally got to me and I clicked on "Chicago Cubs Ringtones" which is provided by Celly Tonez. but that's as far as I got because I really don't trust companies that take a word, pluralize it, and then add a "Z" at the end to make it sound cool.

Sorry.

Unfortunately, this won't get as much play as it should, but I was shocked to hear that Annika Sorenstam is going to retire from competitive golf after this year.

Golf is a sport that can be played a high level until a player is in their early 40's - for both men and women - so to hear her want to pack up the clubs at 37 was surprising.

What's also interesting is that she's exiting like Michael Jordan (the first and second times) - at the top of her sport, as arguably the greatest player ever in her sport, but holding few key records.
(click the following to see where MJ ranks in career points, ppg average, field goals and free throws. )

Annika made women's golf watchable. She inspired many of the young players you see now. But she's not the all time leader in major championships or career victories on the LPGA Tour...which may be more surprising to most observers than the fact that she's retiring.

She's third in all-time wins including three wins this year) with 72 - 16 behind Kathy Witworth - and tied for fourth in career majors with 10 - five behind Patty Berg.

What makes this announcement so interesting is that this is the way the game of golf is going to go for those at the very top of the LPGA and PGA Tours in the coming years.
Current women's world No. 1 Lorena Ochoa has said she's going to call it quits after 10 years in the game.

And don't think that Tiger Woods won't hang it up well before he's eligible for the Champions Tour (which is only 18 years away). The guy is already coming off his 3rd knee surgery...

Same goes with guys like Ernie Els, Phil Mickelson, Sergio Garcia.

The money is too great now - and golfers seem to spend (and more importantly, save) it better than their counterparts in other pro sports. They won't need to keep teeing it up in their late 40's or their 50's.

Real quick...
which Jacque Jones tribute is better ....
this one

or this one

...
or this one to Omar Infante

Now, this one is really, really disturbing. There are several tributes to The Fire and The Passion, Aaron Rowand, but none from Sox fans. (which is refreshing, actually)
Now, tell me how in the world this person mixed in some Willie Mays with The Fire and The Passion....well, I actually know how and why...and methinks that posting another pic of Snoop Dogg would fit right in...

with Paul Goydos battlin Sergio Garcia for The Players championship on Sunday.

Too bad that golf announcing is so stuffy on television...you would have thought that in four days, someone, anyone, would have connected Goydos' reppin' Long Beach to Snoop Dogg, and then cut to some Snoop footage - or at least throw up a mug shot of each of them.

Unfortunately, TV sucks that way. So thanks to this guy for making the connection in print, and thanks to me for throwing up these photos of the S-N-double O- P hitting the links.

So, I was checking out this list of top 10 strange baseball deaths, and then a bit later I checked out the fantastic Baseball-Reference.com sorting tool called "Similar Batters" on Juan Uribe...and I fought it interesting that 2 of the 10 on one list, appeared on the other...

what are the chances?

I also caught the very end of a movie called "Beyond the Law" starring Charlie Sheen in a bad beard. (doesn't this trailer just get you all fired up?)
I turned it on just in time for The Slow Clap scene, initiated by a balding, mulleted man in one of those Party City-brand FBI jackets.

I wonder if in the scripts of those movies the writer's put it like this
Charlie Sheen walks in
Cut to bald, mulleted man in Party City-brand FBI jacket.
Bald, mulleted man in Party City-brand FBI jacket slowly rises.
Cut to Sheen, looking out quizzically at the dead silent room.
Cut back to bald, mulleted man in Party City-brand FBI jacket.
Begin slow clap
Cut to Sheen, looking out quizzically at the dead silent room, save one slow clapper
Cut back to bald, mulleted and now clapping man in Party City-brand FBI jacket
Every other extra rises and joins in the slow clap
Clap gets fast and crazy
Cut to Sheen, looking out quizzically at the now clapping room

Anyone else loving The Slow Clap? Got any favorites? This one was pretty good, I must say. I mean, I totally didn't see it coming - especially not from the balding, mulleted man in the Party-City brand FBI jacket. Wow.

Here's a montage of some great Slow Claps

yes, there is a way to play this game where you are literally just happy to swing the club, roll a putt, mark down a score.
In Iraq, playing golf is a fantastic diversion, and lipouts and lost balls are the furthest thing from irritating.
This is the latest story I've seen on soldiers playing this great game to pass the time, and here are some others...

Here is a great video from over there!

After all the outrage generated today about the White Sox's attempt at clubhouse humor (go back to last night's daily dose to see what caused it), I wonder where the following will rate on the national radar?

I usually like to link to these types of things, but you need to see it here - this is from the Associated Press' Doug Ferguson, one of the best in the business: Make sure to read the whole thing...

NO CADDIES ALLOWED

A half-dozen players not eligible for the pro-am last week on the LPGA Tour were on the putting green, with their caddies standing on the fringe. That's courtesy of a daft new policy that bans caddies from being on the practice green between the hours of 8 a.m. to 4 p.m.

Turns out a couple of players were having a putting contest when a caddie was standing in their line. They asked him to move, he did, but that wasn't enough. They went to the commissioner to complain about crowded conditions on the green, and a new policy was enacted.

The fine for a caddie being on the green--to work with his player's mechanics or retrieve balls from the cup--is $500.

The policy even applies to the chipping area, and it's peculiar to see players hit three or four chips, then shag their own golf balls.

Count Juli Inkster among those who think the policy is bordering on ridiculous.

"You know what? It's women," she said when asked for a comment. "If you just put that down, everyone will know what you mean. Just capitalize 'women' and you don't need to explain anything else."

What? Helllooooo all you ladies in the media!!!?? Where are you going to be on that one? To me, that's more disrespectful towards women than anything the White Sox did with an inflatable doll because, well, Inkster is talking about real, living, breathing people!

I saw this on Yahoo! Three hours and 37 minutes ago, which is long enough for people to pick up on it. And I'll be honest - I'll be more than a little disappointed if this gets no play from the same media types that bashed the White Sox...

..Ozzie swearing?
....a drunken, washed up NFL running back (who you know is in trouble when you Google Image search him and two mugs of OJ Simpson come up)...
...inflatable dolls used in Animal House fashion?
...a horse no one cares about evoking the memory of a supposedly "famous" horse that is one of 133 winners in the Derby's history?

C'mon. No one really cares. Look, if the Sox were +10 games in the standings, we'd invite Ozzie over to serenade our grandmothers.
If Cedric Benson were an All Pro, 1,600 yard rusher, we'd chalk it up to a guy having a little too much fun during the offseason
And if the Sox lineup somehow comes out of this funk to hit .300 the rest of the season, how many inflatable dolls dressed in Swisher jerseys will we see at The Cell? Exactly.

(And don't get me started on the "outrage" over this horse, or horseracing, or whatver...no one cares No one. If I would've won 4 grand on that horse finishing second, or I lost 4 grand because it didn't win- I still wouldn't care less what the hell happened to it.)

This isn't sports people. None of it. So who gives a crap?

maybe it's ignorance born out of frustration, but there is a part of me that thinks I could get a hit at least 24% of the time...which would be better than the White Sox as a team is currently doing.
Flashback to '07, without a doubt.
I'm not one to call for people's jobs, especially those in positions I know nothing about (i.e. major league hitting coach); but the Sox hit .246 as a team last year (.318 OBP); following a .259 performance in Sept & Oct. of 06 when the team went in the toilet..

To me - that's not a slump. That's bad. Really bad. And it may not be Greg Walker's fault. It is entirely possible that Paul Konerko is done in his 12th season. That Jermaine Dye is done in his 13th season. That Jim Thome is done in his 18th season.

These guys are not in their prime anymore, regardless of what their contracts say. Sometimes you just get old real quick.

you can't claim The Passion.

I just heard on the radio that Cubs fans think that Mark Cuban's "Passion" is right for Chicago and that's one of the reasons they want him to buy the Cubs....

You know who has The Passion - It's the White Sox. Look. Here's the proof. It's on their wall....it's part of their stadium

Although, this picture was taken on the next turn down the concourse, and something is missing..

Obviously, Aaron Rowand took The Fire with him when he left...that's the only way to explain it....and Juan Uribe's on base percentage...

of the White Sox's continual insistence in not dealing with Scott Boras. Sox chairman Jerry Reinsdorf was on with Mike North this morning talking about a variety of topics and sure enough, the topic of Joe Crede's impending free agency came up.

And that brought up Boras.

And that brought about more whining about how difficult Boras is to deal with and that more than likely Crede will be gone....

Get over it. This is like saying you're not drinking milk because you don't like the cow.... or you won't listen to the radio because you don't believe in speaker wire...or refusing to breathe because you're not happy with the sun that day.