Ryan and Vick

Dear Curious,

The Swami has peered deeply into the mists of the hereafter, the forever and the better-late-than never, and sees Vick getting 18 months in the federal hoosegow and Ryan earning a cool 24 months.

Of course, this is a different issue than answering who DESERVES more time. Based on that question, Swami thinks Vick earns the low, punkish turf ownership for his dog fighting ring. The people of Illinois were dumb enough to elect Ryan. The dogs didn’t have a vote.

“Dog fighting ring” has such a neutral, athletic contest tone to the name, when in actuality such events are the brutish, cruelty of human depravity at its worst. Vick drowned dogs that did not live up to his standard for killing skill.

Raising animals to kill for human enjoyment is one of humankind’s most abysmal failures as a species. Luckily for The Swami, we are not human. We are Swami.

And of Ryan?

He stands guilty of subverting government for his own ends and stealing from the people of Illinois for decades. The Thief Who Walks Like Grandpa. He is the face of Illinois politics, and the current holder of the state title had better pay attention. We don’t know his name for sure, but it rhymes with Blago.

Ryan might not spend as much time behind bars only because he gets the Old-White-Guy-Who-Will-Die-In-Prison-If-We-Send-Him-There discount.

Ryan and Vick share one common thread to their crimes. To this day, neither believes he did anything wrong.