Drool

Swami fears not everyone in the world is satisfied about all the events that befall them. To that protest we counter: So what, Bunky?

Here’s why some items don’t show up in Talk of the County, and why others are abbreviated or edited.

1: Some things should not be in print. Bad words, for example. Or libel. Plus, some people who send notes to the “Talk” are a patty short of a Big Mac and shouldn’t be allowed around sharp objects, much less an e-mail device. They are pretty much lifelong nincompoops who think what they say is really interesting. But mostly it’s not. Some are overtly racist and mean spirited and assault common sense, and so the editors think it’s a reasonable thing to curtail that sort of verbal drool.

2: Some items are just too long. Make ’em shorter and to the point, the editors tell me.

3: Maybe 10 other people made the exact same point and most of them said it in a much more interesting way than you did. But sometimes “Talkers” get bumped just because what they say is terminally lame, and no one with half a brain would find it interesting. (I know how unbelievable that is, considering some of the mindless wahoos who get their ideas printed, but it’s true, the editors tell me).

4: Did you ever think that maybe you’re just a really slow learner for whom Freedom of Speech is just too much of a load? Some "Talkers' mistake cheap sarcasm for a clever retort.

5: “How about printing what we say? It is called freedom of speech.” Well, no Gertrude, that’s called chaos and the “object” of this spot in the newspaper is a generally welcoming avenue for lively chat. But someone has to check it for taste and skin lesions. It’s not just a bullhorn for egotistical freaks. That’s the Swami’s job.