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Homophobe hobgoblins - The News Swami

Homophobe hobgoblins

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Swami takes note that Halloween (his fave time of the year) was last week. You could tell because all the usual homophobe hobgoblins , tightly wound religious watch fobs and the Constipated Corps of Carnal Cops were on the loose.. They were astride their brooms and sailing through the autumn sky. Why? There was a picture of a gay couple in the newspaper and, ooh boy, the cauldron was bubbling. Some people are deeply worried about who is canoodling with whom…Swami has some ideas about that……

This just in from Dawn at falcun1@scbglobal.net: “What a rag the News Sun has turned in to. I quit getting your paper a year and half ago after reading it for over 30 years. Today's front page only confirmed my thoughts. I'm sure you wonder why I saw it. Only because our office gets a copy. We also advertise a half page every week. Needless to say I will push to send our business elsewhere. Surely there was something more important to put on the front page! “
Swami sez: Oh, dear Dawn, our bloomers are a little tightly wound this week, aren’t they, dear? Getting enough fiber in our diet, snookems?

Getting this bundled up in moral superiority can be quite taxing and bad for your indigestion. We even wondered at first if Dawn was actually Sen. Larry Craig in drag. But apparently not.

But the passion, the anger. the heat!!!!!!! Tsk, tsk and, again we note, TSK. Is this one of those “we fear the lady doth protest too much” signals we’ve heard so much about?

Swami thinks people too concerned about this sexual imprecision are fearful that it might be their fate if they thought about it too long, (It's a Freud thing).... or are worried that others might have doubts about them if they seem somehow reasonable about the issue. It can get sooo claustraphobic in the closet.

Faced with a chance to either ponder the issue like an adult or merely gush venom, Swami sees that red-faced nutjobism is always the safest choice for the sexually ambiguous protester. You go, girl.

Don’t worry, Dawn.

Swami has asked your friends. They all think your straight.


Then there’s an email labeled SICK from Tierkh1@aol.com: “Hello! Please tell your publisher that he is one sick puppy for featuring those gay girls in his paper! How nasty your paper has become, but hey! it sells,right?”
Swami mentioned this to the publisher who acknowledges that he often tries to do stories that people will read. In fact, Swami suggested putting nude photos on Page 3. Pubman says he is considering pictures of nekkid cats and dogs. Wait! He already does that.


More later. Much, much more later. There are so many hobgoblins and so little time.


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The News Swami

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This page contains a single entry by Swami published on November 3, 2007 4:00 AM.

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