Oh, wise Swami: Is Drew Peterson guilty or does he just play a guilty person on TV? And by the way, how does a 54-year-old man get a 17-year-old wife anyway? Some of us here at the bar just wanted to know, and we figured if anyone knew, it would be you. Signed: Hopeful in Gurnee.
Dear Hopeful,
Here’s what we all know for sure about Drew Peterson.
Nothing.
Oh, sure, he really looks guilty on TV and apparently has some obsessive compulsion to go before cameras (Today’s Matt Lauer, for example) and explain his plight in ways that make him look like the Sweeney Todd of Bolingbrook.
All we really know is that his wife is gone, and he can’t keep from making himself look like an aging Lothario burdened with homicidal tendencies. But what do we know for sure?
Drew Peterson is unappealing.
OK, that’s about it when it comes to the evidence part of this scenario.
In some ways, his explanationm makes more sense the more you know about him. What in the world would a barely post-teen bride want with him? When she turns 40, he’ll be 94.
Doesn’t it make some odd but obvious sense that she wanted to leave him so badly that just disappearing appealed to her more than a legal process. He doesn’t seem the sort to surrender a balky wife just because she hires an attorney.
He is a very creepy dude, and being a cop makes him even creepier.
But Swami is not sure that makes him guilty of anything.
We love outrageous headlines just as much as the next Swami but that doesn’t qualify as knowing anything.
Wasn't he 47 and she was 17 at the time they met and started dating? That makes only 30 years difference not 37 years. Plus, if she was 40, he would only be 70, not 94. Strange math that you used, he's not 54 years older than he is.
I find it super creepy and can't imagine dating some old man when I was 17. He must be some super smooth talker!
SWAMI REPLIES ---- Swami employs an ancient mystical trilateral phonetic numerical system that assesses the chronological distance of any man over 70 and his 40-year wife to be roughly 80 years. It has to do with the square of the hypotenuse. Haven' t you ever heard of Dog Years?
S
Whenever a 54yr. old Husband, gets a 17yr. old Wife? Those Hubbies, deserve huge Congratulations!