Dear Master Swami: Shame on State Rep. Eddie Washington for his attempts to rename the Amstutz Expressway after former North Chicago Mayor Bobby Thompson … How would he feel if someone attempted to rename Martin Luther King Drive after someone else? I rest my case. Leave the Amstutz Expressway alone. Signed: Peeved in Waukegan
Dear Peeved,
Whoa, there, Mister Giggles. Let's just take a Chill PIll and relax for a second.
We haven’t seen so many people so riled up since Hillary nearly started a fire in Yosemite when her corduroy pantsuit legs rubbed together and sparked a brief controlled burn.
All we know about the Amstutz is that it’s a lousy road that travels from no where in particular to no where else you’d ever want to go, and if we were the family of its original namesake, we petition to have our relative’s name taken off the thing.
Still, Mister Mookie, it seems a little disrespectful to yank the name from under a dead guy who didn’t have much money and whose claim to fame was mostly this.
On the other hand, Waukegan protesters should remember that Amstutz wasn’t a Waukeganite. He was from Libertyville.
The Amstutz Road To No Where is useful for movies (“Batman Begins” and “The Blues Brothers”, for example) only for the singular quality that reflects its towering uselessness. It’s used so little by real people here that moviemakers can bottle of the road for long periods and inconvenience no one.
It looks like a good highway. It resembles a real road. Of course, moviegoers won’t know it’s a total hoax and probably wouldn’t care even if they did know it.
There are only two real issues.
No 1: How some people hate the fact that State Rep. Eddie Washington got the road name changed to honor someone from North Chicago. Oh, the horror, the indignity of such a thing.
And second (and far more relevant to the Swami) is why in the heck did anyone agree to spend $1.5 million or so to fix a road that no one really cares about?
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