Dear Swami, I see the TVs ads that show these people who claim to have been turned down by eHarmony.com as candidates to be matched up with a suitable romantic partner. It’s a funny joke but what actually causes someone to be rejected? Signed, Foxy in Fox Lake.
Dear Foxy,
We’d guess candidates with the romantic tendencies of Lori Michaelson might have a hard time making the cut.
She’s the Antioch woman accused of ending her nine month love match with Brian Boatright by running over him in her Volvo station wagon and then dragging his lifeless body for a quarter mile to her home. He never made it from under the car.
She’s the Draggin Lady of Lake County.
As is the custom in Lake County, the prosecutor charged her with first degree murder, as if that charge had a chance of surviving common sense. She was plastered and if Swami senses the details correctly, he’d bet his turban that at the height of the dispute, the victim exited the car, stood in front of it and dared ---DARED, I say ¬– her to run over him.
This often is what drunk boyfriends do with their drunk girlfriends. Luckily, they’re not in a parking lot when the challenge is issued.
There’s always a lot of “oh yeah, busters?” and “We’ll see about thats” followed by a four-and five-letter rude gender descriptions,
Or maybe he was just sure she didn’t have enough nerve to take him up on his challenge.
Mistake. Some people take dares literally when all you were doing was making a rhetorical point.
In any case, Lori’s eHarmony profile probably advises: Strong-willed but loving; looking to put the pedal to the metal in a meaningful relationship; high spirited in a vehicular sense. She’s an eight-cylinder love machine.
And also there’s the hint she fudged on credit cards and, of course, the prosecutorial establishment insists they’ll go after her on those charges, too. I bet she’s really scared of the credit card rap at this point.
Meanwhile, Volvo, which usually advertises about how safe its cars are, is working on a new approach. Volvo: Be Careful What You Ask For.”
Someone explained to me that eHarmony doesn't match make for gay/lesbian singles - only heterosexuals need apply!
eHarmony says that the reason that they don't include homosexuals in their accepted memberships is that the testing that they use to match persons with doesn't have homosexual information included in it, so it would be wrong to accept payment for a lesser service than they are providing for the heterosexuals. Maybe someone is willing to invest some money and psychological profile work on getting a gHarmony going...?
I know someone else who was declined because they are not yet divorced (though they might as well be), but only separated. They only want those who are single and available to begin a new relationship right away.
As a single adult who has profiles in several places and hopes for good matches, I am one who would be relieved to know that the people I might meet will be done and over with their processes. That way I don't have to risk being their "interim lover" (the one they use to get back some self esteem and courage, and then move on away from once they are stronger...).
They think some people should not be allowed to breed. That goes for gay people also. But wait they gay people don't breed with each other.