Swami, what's the ugliest moment so far in the election process in Illinois? Anybody come off as a real toadstool? Signed: Amphibian in Antioch
Ah, where to begin, Am?
For sheer mean ignoramus-osity, we give the nod squarely to 8th District Republican congressional whizbang Steve Greenberg who has stirred up a 1,500 year blood feud by arguing his foe, Melissa Bean, is a secret friend and agent of Serbian Neo-Fascist terrorists.
Hard criticism for a woman who mostly wears pastel business suits.
He's even gone so far as to begin identifying her with her maiden name, Luburich, which has its origin in Serbia.
As with many misaimed political missiles, this one started with Bean giving Greenbrrg a small opening with a tactical mistake. Though she opposes the Prez's support for Kosovar independence (as do many of the globe's nations), Bean erred in having a fund-raising dinner at the home of the Serbian consul general in Chicago. It was his wife, an American-born lawyer of note, who was actually hosting the soiree but Greenberg leaped at Bean's throat with all fangs bared.
First of all, if you want to run for Congress, there are plenty of current wars over which to have a fist fight rather than sliding back into the goo of the Serbian-Albanian scuffle which Bill Clinton put on hold momentarily with a pre-emptive bombing run.
How ingrained is the argument? One side quotes the unfairness of the 1648 Treaty of Westphalia as a pretext for continuing hostility, for crying out loud. WESTPHALIA!
This is an argument that no one is going to settle in our lives (even though Swami is now 252 years old and has another good century-and-a-half to go), and the fact the Prez has sided with Kosovo doesn't end the dispute.
So, Bean has natural reasons to support the Serbian position and receive money from Serbian Americans.
Swami takes no side for now on the ancient, underlying dispute, but he does find it reprehensible that Greenberg calls out Bean this way: "Congresswoman Melissa Bean is flagrantly working on behalf of foreign interests, against the interests of the United States. This is an outrage and today I am asking for an investigation of Ms. Bean's activities as an agent for a foreign government."
When you call a sitting U.S. congresswoman an agent of foreign powers, that tends to get attention.
Swami's view? This as a temper tantrum by an inexperienced candidate who now senses he's not going to win the election and is casting about in the dark for any rock to throw. Desperation can be ugly.
His is a spiteful position, rife with cultural undertones and barely veiled hate talk. Remember the price for inheriting the wind.
And it doesn't help Greenberg that some of the leading conservative political practitioners are on the other side of the Serb-Kosovo issue. Greenberg hasn't called Lawrence Eagleburger a Serbian terror patsy, yet.
If Greenberg wants to debate Bean on the issue of which side in a 16-century-old conflagration is right, Swami says be our guest.
But calling someone a traitor just because they disagree with your position is a low and unbecoming tactic and, more to the point, it doesn't positively distinguish a person seeking to sit in Congress.
Swami, what's the deal with the settlement in the Hutchison family suit against Burger King? I'm not surprised the deal was for $2 million but I am shocked that they gave us the amount. Signed: Lugubrious in Lindenhurst.
Ah, where to begin, Lug?
Swami also finds it amazing (but in a good way) Lake County Circuit Court Judge Raymond McKoski let the $2 million deal go public. Way to go, Your Honor.
Maybe he's close to retiring and doesn't mind peeving local attorneys who seem to control the local judiciary through the political process. Or maybe it's because the law firm handling the Hutchinson portfolio is from Democrat-heavy Cook County so he's off the hook for political damage.
In any case, civil lawyers crave out of court settlements, but hate it when the amounts are revealed by the court because, if you can do some third grade math, it will reveal how much they got paid. And that number always seems appalling. They don't have much choice in cases that go to trial, but all civil litigators adore out of court deals.
That produces the settlement number that civil lawyers want to protect from too much scrutiny.
In fact, recipients of large payoffs often have to sign a confidentiality agreement to keep the figures secret as a condition of getting the money. Lawyers for both sides generally love this deal.
It's a subtle but effective form of extortion that buys quiet, especially if a commercial interest wants to do the deal on the QT without exposing itself to a jury or more publicity.
Of course, the legal system condones the practice by refusing to stop the secrecy in what is essentially a matter of public interest, if not importance.
In this case, the lawyers for both sides may have preferred to be more discreet, but the judge nixed that stipulation. Whatever the reason he did it, it's a breath of cool air in what is a self-satisfied, smug system.
That's why making the settlement public is unusual.
The other factor at work in this case is that the insurer, not the Burger King franchise owners they insured, decided to pay off. The Burger King guys wanted to go to court and fight it out. By implication the insurers presumed that a jury would force them to pay out more lots than $2 million and the concurrent legal bills would mount, too. So, this was a let's-cut-our-loss sort of deal.
The Burger King folks were accused of failing to do due diligence in hiring convicted killer James Ealy. And when Ealy alleged killed co-worker Mary Hutchison, they were accused of being the civil variation on complicit-by-inaction in the 2006 killing.
For the record, Hutchison's husband, daughter and son will share $1,367,638 of the $2 million gross settlement.
Their attorneys, Zellner and Associates, get the remaining $632,361.
Does that amount for the lawyers seem fair to you for merely threatening a lawsuit?
Swami, I'm still confused about Sen. Dick Durbin's gang roundtable this week in Waukegan. What was the point and did any good get done? Signed: Woozy in Waukegan.
Ah, where to begin, Wooz?
The senior senator's arrival in town heralded a "gang roundtable" meant to ,er, well, Swami is not quite sure. But it was one swell party.
But it did point one very necessary educational opportunity we hope Durbin and his staff (the ones who get paid to keep the senator from looking like a doofus) use to their future advantage.
Earth to Dick, Earth to Dick. News Alert!! There are gangs in Waukegan. It's a problem! Really!
These are not nice boys just waiting for a mature mentoring hand to lead them onto a better future of milk, honey and Colt 45s. Many are hard-core criminal punks. We didn't want to be the ones to break the news to you, but apparently no one else filled you in before you arrived.
So when the senior senator from Illinois expresses surprise and dismay (I'm shocked there's gambling in this establishment) when he learns they are a lot of gang-bangers in Lake County, we are just as surprised.
But we're surprised that Dick seems so numb to the facts. Read a newspaper, Dick. It would help. As for his staff? Boys, this research concept is a wonderful thing. You should try it.
OK, so not everyone pays attention to Lake County with the same attention as Swami but why show up to "lead" a "roundtable" and seem to have no idea what's going on? Durbin spent most of the event in the dark while banging his shins on the coffee table as he edged his way to the fridge. WAKE UP, AMERICA!! Oops, sorry. That's from a wholly different rant.
Durbin was ostensibly here to promote federal legislation that would add $175 very very large to the gang fight. On the other hand, this appearance doesn't do much for that debate because Durbin has to convince the U.S. House (and then the Prez) to pass the money. Everyone in the room on Tuesday was already in favor of the cash.
So what we have here is political kabuki. Mr. Dog, meet Mr. Pony. Let the show begin.
The locals already have 800 Gs to spend, though we're a little unclear what you spend such money to do and how you measure if it did any good. Wouldn't it be cheaper to pay off the gang enforcers to stay inside and not bother anyone? Hey, it's what Cease-Fire does.
Will consult crystal ball for better fiscal analysis.
Swami considers this the most amusing casting-into-the-darkness-for any- quote-that-seems-to fly from the senator: "We can't save every soul, but if we don't try it means more and more violence."
Sorry, Dick, it's not the trying thing that does good. It's the succeeding thing that really counts.
Swami, I'm still confused about the verdict in the Adam Christenson murder case. Is there any more expolanation why it all took so long? Signed, Flummoxed in Fox Lake
Ah, where to begin, Flum ?
The slaying in 2004 of teen-ager Elizabeth Wilding remains a haunting tragedy for which there likely would have been no respite even had the law worked more efficiently.
The family, especially mom Gigi Willding, is devastated and only long-term professional counseling and maybe a deep personal religious faith can offer any hope for the family to recover its equilibrium. Even with the usual forms of help, the loss of a child under these circumstances is not a defeat from which everyone can recover. Swami wishes only the best to the Willdings.
But here's a fact that adds to the heartache.
Though neither of Elizabeth's parents are likely to be around to see the final act, the chances are unlikely that Christenson will live the rest of his life in prison.
He's going in at age 25 and will serve all 48 years of his sentence. When he gets out., he will be 73. And there is no accommodation in the law to require that he actually serve life.
The prosecution gave up that option when it agreed to an "Alford Plea," a circumlocution of reality that allows the defendant to pretend he might be innocent though he's not, and the prosecution to pretend he's theoretically guilty. While it foregoes the expense and work of a trial, Alford's offer a break mostly to the defendant.
In this case, Christenson and his legal mouthpiece dragged out the case for as long as possible and then admitted, "OK, coppers, you got me."
Actually, Christenson has a good chance of a living a relatively long time AFTER he gets out of prison. According to several analyses, about half the 72-year old males in the United States are expected to die within 13.1 years, while the remainder will live longer. If you get to 80, you have a much higher probability of living to be 100.
The average lifespan of 76 years for U.S. males tilts toward youthful death as a driving factor. Sorry, but it's the way actuarial math works.
Every person who dies before the age of 50 (and there are a lot of those) drives up the likely lifespan for those who make it past 50. There's an inverse proportion to lifespan. If you get to 75 in good health, you have an ever-improving chance of being a centenarian.
Of course, other factors will affect his survival. Prison life is not conducive to long life as a general proposition. Depending on which sort of prison houses Christenson for the next half century, his likelihood of surviving can vary appreciably depending on lots of factors: his propensity for violence inside the joint; giving up smoking and drinking; eating habits; exercise.
On the other hand, some mook in state prison could take an instant dislike to Christensen and take him out with an ice pick. It's been known to happen.
Swami, what's going to happen with Wrigley Field and will it still be called that in the future? I think it's good idea that the state might buy the stadium to protect it for all of us. Signed, Kinky in Kildeer.
Ah, where to begin, Kink?
Swami wishes to take a short ride down an alley on the topic and point out how, once again against all logical odds, former Gov. Jim Thompson is right in the middle of insipid stupidity once again.
First, he was an official member in bad standing of the see-no-evil board of directors for the Sun-Times conglomerate all the while Conrad Black was robbing the company blind. During the episode, Thompson apparently was in a coma and, like Sgt. Schulz, saw nothing, NOTH-ING!!!
As seamy and venal as that bank robbery was, the larger strategic sin was putting the city of Chicago at risk of being a one newspaper town and making Sam Zell the only loud voice around. You think Chicago public ethics stink now; just wait until the Trib is the only show in town and Zell has his hands lodged in Charlie McCarthy's rear ribcage.
And then we have the sorry spectacle of Thompson shepherding old crook Gov. George Ryan around from courthouse to prison while trying to work his pro-bono mojo to save the old reprobate thief. As part of his attorney's role, Thompson routinely pronounced how Ryan was actually innocent and that sending him to prison was very unfair.
And now, once again, it's Thompson in his governor's easy chair afterlife as head of the state facilities board that is railroading the purchase of Wrigley Field to benefit...hmmm...let's think...ah yes, Sam Zell again.
Here's the long and short. There's nothing wrong with the privately owned old ball park that private funds from the very rich private owner cannot fix. Isn't that the way capitalism is supposed to work? Why the taxpayers must face being dragged into the future of Wrigley Field is a possibility beyond all common sense.
You buy a neat old car. It needs a new carb and a crank shaft to make the flivver run better. OK, go buy the items. That's the deal with acquiring venerable antiques worth preserving. But how does it compute that innocent bystanders in the deal - in this case, the taxpayers of Illinois - should be dragged into the transaction?
As for the not-so-subtle threat that, unless taxpayers pony up, some evil force will tear down the stadium? It's the worst sort of cynical manipulation. Of all the assets enfolded into the Cubs franchise, only that pile of bricks has any provable value. Even if they could do it, no real estate magnate would tear down the Statue of Liberty to a build a condo. But he might get more money for a good paint job on the Old Gal if he threatened to replace her.
As far as Thompson is concerned, let us tally up the scorecard.
He was a mediocre governor, a lousy corporate board member, an unsuccessful attorney in a high-profile but winnable case, and now a spendthrift public looter genuflecting at the foot of a billionaire.
Anyone see a pattern?
Even by Illinois political standards, that's quite a career.
Swami, what should a citizen think about the defeat of Jim Oberweis by Bill Foster in the Illinois 14th congressional special election on Saturday? Big deal or just another odd political occurrence in a year filled with them? Signed: Hepped up in Highland Park
Swami, I see that the vice president is coming to the Great Lakes Naval base this week. What brings him here? Is there anything sinister with his appearance? Signed: Disbarred lawyer from Deerfield
Swami, who’s the most famous lawyer in Lake County, since we now must kiss their rings and tell them how wonderful they are. I thought lawyers would do anything you paid them to do as long as it wasn’t a war crime? Signed: Warren Twp. War Criminal But Otherwise a Nice Guy.
Swami, how are you and the local lawyers doing after the recent stories about sweetheart deals for child sex predators? Are they upset? Bet so. They hate it when civilians call them bad names. Signed: A former plaintiff.
Dear Swami, can you help me find “B.B. of Waukegan.” I do not know for sure who it is, but I believe he, or she, officially maybe the dumbest person in Waukegan. Signed; The dumbest person in Gurnee
