Swami, I'm still confused about Sen. Dick Durbin's gang roundtable this week in Waukegan. What was the point and did any good get done? Signed: Woozy in Waukegan.
Ah, where to begin, Wooz?
The senior senator's arrival in town heralded a "gang roundtable" meant to ,er, well, Swami is not quite sure. But it was one swell party.
But it did point one very necessary educational opportunity we hope Durbin and his staff (the ones who get paid to keep the senator from looking like a doofus) use to their future advantage.
Earth to Dick, Earth to Dick. News Alert!! There are gangs in Waukegan. It's a problem! Really!
These are not nice boys just waiting for a mature mentoring hand to lead them onto a better future of milk, honey and Colt 45s. Many are hard-core criminal punks. We didn't want to be the ones to break the news to you, but apparently no one else filled you in before you arrived.
So when the senior senator from Illinois expresses surprise and dismay (I'm shocked there's gambling in this establishment) when he learns they are a lot of gang-bangers in Lake County, we are just as surprised.
But we're surprised that Dick seems so numb to the facts. Read a newspaper, Dick. It would help. As for his staff? Boys, this research concept is a wonderful thing. You should try it.
OK, so not everyone pays attention to Lake County with the same attention as Swami but why show up to "lead" a "roundtable" and seem to have no idea what's going on? Durbin spent most of the event in the dark while banging his shins on the coffee table as he edged his way to the fridge. WAKE UP, AMERICA!! Oops, sorry. That's from a wholly different rant.
Durbin was ostensibly here to promote federal legislation that would add $175 very very large to the gang fight. On the other hand, this appearance doesn't do much for that debate because Durbin has to convince the U.S. House (and then the Prez) to pass the money. Everyone in the room on Tuesday was already in favor of the cash.
So what we have here is political kabuki. Mr. Dog, meet Mr. Pony. Let the show begin.
The locals already have 800 Gs to spend, though we're a little unclear what you spend such money to do and how you measure if it did any good. Wouldn't it be cheaper to pay off the gang enforcers to stay inside and not bother anyone? Hey, it's what Cease-Fire does.
Will consult crystal ball for better fiscal analysis.
Swami considers this the most amusing casting-into-the-darkness-for any- quote-that-seems-to fly from the senator: "We can't save every soul, but if we don't try it means more and more violence."
Sorry, Dick, it's not the trying thing that does good. It's the succeeding thing that really counts.
Yes, indeed, a mind is a terrible thing to waste.
Yeah ... don't get this post. Durbin leads a roundtable to combat a problem, learns a few things about what is going on (how many counties are there in Illinois? 100? more), and you lambast him? Not buying it.