The News Swami

Ah, where to begin?

While all the lawyers in Lake County are noble and above average, we guess the most famous local attorney is no longer part of part of the fraternity of 900. Not sure he was a member of the Lake County Bar though he was more likely he that would have turned them down rather the otherwise.

That would be Highland Park’s Stu Levine. If the gov ever goes down in flames over ALLEGED, NOT PROVEN, TOTALLY HYPOTHETICAL kickbacks, etc., it will be Levine’s “hey-I’m-wearing-a-wire” testimony that does it. He’s the heavy artillery in the Tony Rezko corruption trial now getting into launch mode at the federal building downtown.

Levine’s already been convicted of ripping off several state agencies and their contractors. In the days before he began helping himself so much, he was always identified in state news clips as “GOP insider Stuart Levine.”

Speaking of which, here’s a riddle. What’s the difference between a hooker and lawyer? Yes, we don’t know, either.

Or this lawyer joke Swami stole from the Internet.

A man went to a brain store to get some brain to complete a study. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of professional brain offerred at this particular brain store. He begins to question the butcher about the cost of these brains.

"How much does it cost for engineer brain?"

"Three dollars an ounce."

"How much does it cost for programmer brain?"

"Four dollars an ounce."

"How much for lawyer brain?"

"$1,000 an ounce."

"Why is lawyer brain so much more?"

"Do you know how many lawyers we had to kill to get one ounce of brain?"

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If you have a lawyer jokes, send it in. We're collecting them.