Dear Swami:
Remember that one movie with Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman as the cops and they were, like, investigating all this weird-wild-crazy stuff, like a fat guy chained to a table and forced to eat himself to death? That was awesome. But I fell asleep before the movie ended. Did they ever catch the killer? Because there's been some really bizarre stuff going on in Lake County lately, and I'm wondering if he's back on the job.
Frightened in Fremont Township
Dear FFT:
Not sure if there is reason to be frightened. Far as I can tell, Kevin Spacey isn't responsible for this wacky behavior. The culprit is much more powerful. I say you blame Mother Nature. Why? I'll get to that in a minute.
For those who avoided all news reports this week, here's a rundown of what you missed. Within a 24-hour period, three of your more eye-popping stories broke in and around the county.
It started with a Spring Grove principal being caught in a Wisconsin hotel room with pot, porn and two teenage girls. Police say boxer-clad Daniel Markofski was found in the room with porn blaring on the TV and an aroma of pot in the air. And Markofski allegedly had sex the 16-year-old, while a 15-year-old watched.
In Crystal Lake, an unidentified 55-year-old man was found chained to a basement during a house fire. Roommates who escaped the blaze alerted firefighters that the man was in the basement. When they arrived they found him clothed and chained by his neck to a pole, while the home continued to burn. Once freed, the man claimed there was no criminal activity and the chains were voluntary.
As that was going on, police say a sword-wielding Alison Hervdejs was attacking sheriff's deputies inside her Antioch home. The attack -- perhaps inspired by either "Xena: Warrior Princess" or Bruce Willis in "Pulp Fiction" -- was prompted after police came a-knocking to question her about throwing bottles at cars on Route 83. She was shot and hospitalized after twice running at deputies with a samurai sword.
So what's Mother Nature got to do with this? It's simple -- after a brutally cold and long winter, Lake County was treated to a few warm days. And what happens after a few, fleeting days of pleasant weather?
The crazies come out. You see, crazies like warm weather. It's the Florida Syndrome. Take a look at the weird, wild and wacky news coming out of the Sunshine State sometime. It'll blow your mind.
Luckily for us, Chicago weather isn't that consistent. And just days after giving us enough warmth to produce crazies, Mother Nature brought us cold and rain. It's her way of saying sorry. And hopefully keeping the weirdoes away for a bit. Or least keeping them in Florida.
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