Generation Text vs. The Man

swmi

omg th PITA old ppl on th waukgn skl brd wnt 2 tkaway my right 2 uz a cell n txt my BFFs drrng skl. Wht shld i do?

B4N,
wr eed in wkgn

Dear Worried:

Fortunately, The Swami speaks text, so your plea for help was not in vain. You are, of course, referring to the brewing controversy about banning the use "portable electronic devices" at Waukegan Public Schools, a move that would deprive Generation Text of its means to exist in the world.

The Swami forsees that, 10 years from now, we will all look back at 2008 and chuckle at how cute we all were with our "hand-held" communications devices and all the clumsy rules we wrestled with to keep the kids in line. No, we will not be communicating via telekinesis -- it will be via facial expressions that have yet to be envisioned by science.

But you ask what can be done to deal with the crisis at hand in May 2008. Let's review the options. You can't vote the school board members out of office, because you're probably not yet 18. You can't hire a big-shot attorney from the Bill Gates crowd, because you probably don't make much more than minimum wage at this point. And you can't write a stern letter of protest, because, as seen above, you've lost all ability to use vowels, capital letters and coherent thought.

In other words, The Swami advises you to get ready for a painful period of adjustment, because you might hold the future in your hands, but the old people still hold all the power.