This week's news headlines today, only from the crystal ball of The Swami:
... after everyone gets a few hours to pass along the news that a teen was decapitated while trespassing underneath Batman: The Ride at Six Flags Over Georgia, thousands of Lake County residents will be grossly misinformed that 10 people were severed in half while walking through Wiggles World at Six Flags Great America ...
... someone who came of age watching "Jackass" will visit a Lake County emergency room either Thursday or Friday night after using a lit cigarette to light an M-100 purchased out of the back of a guy's van ...
... five months after the entertainment world was freed from the grips of the Writers Guild of America strike, the Screen Actors Guild will threaten to go on strike, setting up the historic possibility of Olivia de Havilland walking a picket line with Rob "Deuce Bigalow" Schneider ...
... and actor Kevin Bacon will celebrate his 50th birthday within six steps from every person on Earth.
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