Today's news: "Traffic deaths fall as gas prices climb"
Tomorrow's news, via the crystal ball of The Swami: Traffic deaths rise as gas prices climb ever higher ... and more and more people walk in the middle of the Tri-State Tollway to get to work.
Today's news: "Did 'Batman' star Christian Bale assault his mother and sister?"
Tomorrow's news, via the crystal ball of The Swami: Mother and sister of "Batman" star to appear on "Larry King Live," "Maury," "The Steve Wilkos Show," "America's Next Top Model" and "Ice Road Truckers," in that order.
Today's news: "President Bush says Wall Street 'got drunk and now it's got a hangover.'"
Tomorrow's news, via the crystal ball of The Swami: Wall Street says it just likes to have a little drink now and then to blow off steam, and it's a grown adult, and it doesn't need you judging it, and it can stop any time it wants to, so get off its back already, dammit.
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