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Jack the Crappie Ripper, on the loose - The News Swami

Jack the Crappie Ripper, on the loose

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This week's news headlines today, only from the crystal ball of The Swami:

... the release of designs for an outdoor sports complex on the site of the defunct Orchard Hills Golf Course will spark a new round of raging against the machine by disenfranchised golfers in Waukegan -- not that this will slow the freight train of progress rushing toward the construction of an outdoor sports complex on the site of Orchard Hills ...

... the mysterious deaths of carp and crappie in Lake County waters will be attributed to a carp and crappie serial killer, bringing Bill Kurtis to the rescue ...

... following his comments that violence in Chicago is "out of control" -- and Chicago Mayor Richard M. Daley's subsequent and unconvincing public insistence that "I'm not mad at him" about it -- Gov. Rod Blagojevich will wake up with the head of Khartoum in his bed ...

... and, as the buzz over the record-setting box office for "The Dark Knight" starts to settle down, July 25 will bring with it the release of the Will Ferrell comedy "Step Brothers," signaling the official end of all the good movies that the summer of 2008 has to offer. From here on out, it's like all the junk that fell out of the bag on the way to the curb.

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