This week's news headlines today, only from the crystal ball of The Swami:
... with the Illinois Legislature being dragged kicking and screaming back to Springfield (at $129 per diem plus mileage), the only news that will emerge will be the literal hair-pulling catfight between Gov. Rod Blagojevich and House Speaker Michael Madigan, scheduled to break out in a Statehouse hallway sometime Thursday evening. The smart money is on the wiry but cold-blooded Madigan, who would kidney-punch a nun if it meant preserving the title of Most Powerful Man in the State ...
... Brett Favre will skip the early-bird senior special at the Shoney's in Hattiesburg, Miss., paying full price for his Backyard Bar-B-Que buffet -- and fueling new rumors that he will come out of retirement to lose twice more to the Chicago Bears in 2008 ...
... as Starbucks plans to close 600 "underperforming" stores, Lake County fans of the gourmet java franchise will seek alternatives that include mixing Nescafe straight into a Dairy Queen Oreo Blizzard ...
... and Lincolnshire will gladly return to its status as a "far northern suburb" that can't be found by the Chicago media without a murder and a map.
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