Today's news: "NBC, Others Grapple With Proper Beijing Pronunciation"
Tomorrow's news, via the crystal ball of The Swami: NBC, Others Decide To Just Call It "Peking"
Today's news: "Tropical Storm Fay Forms in Caribbean"
Tomorrow's news, via the crystal ball of The Swami: Oil Prices Skyrocket Again As Speculators Hope Fay Will Become Hurricane
Today's news: "U.S. Warns Russia To Halt 'Invasion' Of Georgia"
Tomorrow's news, via the crystal ball of The Swami: Russia Wets Pants Laughing At U.S. "Warning"
Today's news: "'Office' Actor Craig Robinson Faces Drug Charges"
Tomorrow's news, via the crystal ball of The Swami: Strong Second-Week Box Office For Pro-Drug Comedy "Pineapple Express," Co-Starring Craig Robinson
Today's news: "Georgia Men Claim Hairy, Frozen Corpse Is Bigfoot"
Tomorrow's news, via the crystal ball of The Swami: Unfrozen Bigfoot Goes On Rampage; Plans To Marry Georgia Woman
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