This week's news headlines today, only from the crystal ball of The Swami:
... a bruised, soiled and ragged but resolute Mark Curran will emerge from "The Hole" at Lake County Jail, his eyes squinting at the light of day, and defiantly declare that he is innocent and will now return to life among free men ...
... Barack Obama and his former fierce rival, Joe Biden, will spend the week trying to remind America that it was George H.W. Bush and not Jimmy Carter who said Ronald Reagan was engaging in "voodoo economics" ...
... meanwhile, with the Democratic National Convention dominating late-summer television, John McCain will sneak out to see "Disaster Movie" with Mitt Romney ...
... noting all the glowing media attention given to Madonna on the occasion of her 50th birthday, a pop singer by the name of Michael Jackson will leave a voice mail with the receptionist at "Entertainment Tonight" and point out that he, also, is turning 50 this week ...
... breaking the tension from more than two weeks of model behavior, a relieved Beijing Municipal Public Security Bureau will go on a 12-hour binge of fire-hosing random crowds and beating university students with spiked clubs ...
... and both the Chicago White Sox and the Chicago Cubs will reach Labor Day weekend in first place, setting up a final month of pleasure, pain and the impossible becoming more and more possible.
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