Lowlights from the election week to come

News from the final week of the 2008 presidential campaign, available today only from the crystal ball of The Swami:

... Joe Biden will develop a reflex habit of asking "is this a joke?" whenever someone poses a loaded or unloaded question, including when fast-food workers ask him if he would like "anything else" with his value meal ...

... John McCain will emerge from a screening of the movie "W." at the Indian Mound 11 Theatres in Heath, Ohio, and remind passersby that the film was not about him and he doesn't even look like Josh Brolin ...

... Barack Obama will be revealed to have frequently watched television programs that featured known Muslims, including Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Hakeem Olajuwon, Ahmad Rashad and Muhammad Ali ...

... and the mainstream media will continue to torture Sarah Palin with news accounts that deviate from her prepared remarks.