This week's news today, only from the crystal ball of The Swami:
... Illinois will join the six states where gas can now be found for under $3 a gallon, creating frenzied lines of motorists jockeying to fill up their tanks one day before gas will skyrocket back up to $3.01 a gallon ...
... John McCain will indeed make a kiss-and-make-up appearance on "The Late Show with David Letterman." The situation will become another controversy entirely when the kiss turns out to be literal ...
... with the scorched-earth campaigning from the past week failing to make a dent in the polls, the strategy will come to an abrupt end -- on Nov. 5 ...
... after commanding the No. 1 slot at the box office for the second week in a row, "Beverly Hills Chihuahua" is only $571.4 million behind "Titanic" for the top-grossing film in the history of U.S. cinema, and "Chihuahua" will sink the "Titanic" again by the third week in July 2009 ...
... and, on Tuesday at around 4:45 p.m., the wild celebration on the Chicago Bears' sideline will come to a screeching halt when someone glances at a newspaper and sees the final score of the Atlanta game.
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