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Tomorrow's news: Pity The Oil Speculators - The News Swami

Tomorrow's news: Pity The Oil Speculators

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Today's headline: "Oil Falls As Investors Worry About Demand"

Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: Now Wait Just A Freakin' Minute Here -- The Price Of Oil Is Falling And This Is Somehow A Bad Thing? "Investors" Are Worried?!? HAVE YOU SEEN THE CITGO TOTALS ON MY DISCOVER CARD?!?

Today's headline: "Booze May Speed Shrinking Of The Brain"

Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: Booze/Shrinking Link "Explains A Whole Hell Of A Lot," Says Your Ex-Wife

Today's headline: "Obama Opens 14-Point Lead On McCain"

Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: McCain Camp Declares Victory After Trimming Obama Lead To 13 Points

Today's headline: "Video Games Feature Ads For Obama's Campaign"

Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: Gamers Nationwide Demand To Know Who's This Obama Dude Messing With Their Xbox

Today's headline: "Store Clerk Shoots Robbery Suspect"

Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: Lawsuit Filed In Shooting Of Robbery Suspect

Today's headline: "Stairs Emerges As Phillies' Unsung Hero In Game 4"

Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: You Know, The Tubby Balding Guy Who Hit .250 And Struck Out 76 Times In 128 Games For The 2001 Chicago Cubs? Yeah, That Matt Stairs

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