This week's news today, only from the crystal ball of The Swami:
OPEC and Big Oil will put on their thinking caps and find some way to spin Sunday's Indonesian earthquake into a spike at the pump ...
... wildfires in Southern California will ease and give way to mudslides and earthquakes in Southern California ...
... millions of 12- to 16-year-old girls will arrive at school Friday morning with bleary eyes after seeing the midnight preview screenings of "Twilight," which is about teen vampires and has nothing to do with Rod Serling or the 1998 Paul Newman movie by the same name ...
... Barack Obama's meeting with former rival John McCain on Monday will spark rumors that McCain will either be named Secretary of Homeland Security or be asked to lead the search to find an Obama family dog ...
... and Bear fans, suffering from 1990s flashbacks following Sunday's debacle against the hated Packers, will reflexively demand the firing of Coach Dave Wannstedt.
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