Today's headline: "Phoenix Mars Lander Dies"
Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: Widow Of Phoenix Mars Lander Writes Tell-All Book Of Loveless Marriage, Drunken Hollywood Parties
Today's headline: "Jennifer Aniston Opens Up About Brad, Angelina and John Mayer"
Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: Jennifer Aniston Opens Up About 75 Other Guys She's Dated In Last Three Years
Today's headline: "Obama Supports Keeping Lieberman In Democratic Caucus"
Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: Lieberman Emerges From Democratic Caucus With Wedgie, Gum In Hair, Missing Pants
Today's headline: "Soto Wins NL Rookie Of The Year Award"
Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: Ask Cub Fans How Much They Care About Postseason Awards At This Point In History
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