NFL Week 14: Bears win on appeal

Dear Swami:

Plaxico Burress literally shoots himself in the foot, the "Williams Wall" gets suspended and un-suspended, O.J. Simpson gets put away for 15 years -- I almost find myself distracted from the actual games on the field. Almost. Are the Bears going to win this weekend or can I stop paying attention until 2009?

Law N. Order

Dear Law:

Are the Bears still in it, you ask? What self-respecting Bears doesn't have unwavering belief in the Monsters of the Midway? The Bears are just one game (and a pesky tie-breaker) away from leading the NFC North. And The Swami is here to break down how it'll happen.

-- Jacksonville Jaguars at Chicago Bears: The Jaguars have had more than their share of run-ins with the law in recent months. As evidenced here, here, here and here. And here. In fact, the league ordered them to take a new team picture. The Bears, meanwhile, have had no problems. That we know of. The Swami's pick: Bears.

-- Minnesota Vikings at Detroit Lions: The Lions have won zero games this year. They're quarterbacked by a player more suited for buffets than football, and their fan base has given up on them. But Bears fans need a Vikings loss to even up the division. And that overfed quarterback is up against his old team. So, yes, The Swami will keep picking the Lions until the law of averages catches up with them. The pick: Lions.

-- Houston Texans at Green Bay Packers: Though the Packers are a game back, they can still catch the Bears in the NFC North, so it's best that they lose often down the stretch. And everyone knows Texans don't like to be messed with, so they should be able to push around Green Bay fairly easily. And we all know pushing around Green Bay fans isn't easy. Swami's pick: Texans.

-- Atlanta Falcons at New Orleans Saints: Forget the wild card, Bear fans, since Carolina and Atlanta are your current leaders, and they both stole wins from your team. Instead, enjoy it when North Chicago's Michael "The Burner" Turner beats up on the Saints, your short-week opponent for Dec. 11. The pick: Falcons.