NFL Week 16: The Wrath of Khan

OK, Swami:

Now your Bears are really up against the wall -- if they lose or the Vikings win, it's goodbye, see you in Bourbonnais in July. Let's see you "crystal ball" your way out of this one. P.S. Go, Vikings

Purple People Eater

Dear P.P.

Interesting that you refer to Chicago's NFL franchise as belonging to The Swami. If so, the league should immediately remit the fithy millions of dollars doled out to each partner in its revenue-sharing model, particularly the piece of the $2 billion annual broadcasting package. Swami needs a new pair of golden shoes.

And now to this weekend's scenario that will enable Bear fans and Vikings fans to sweat all the way through Christmas week:

-- Green Bay Packers at Chicago Bears (Monday): Ah, Kirk, my old friend, do you know the Klingon proverb that tells us revenge is a dish that is best served cold? It is very cold in Soldier Field on a Monday night in December. The Swami's pick: Bears.

-- Atlanta Falcons at Minnesota Vikings: Fate has caught up with half of the infamous Williams Wall, as defensive tackle Pat Williams was felled by injury the same week that The Boys Down In Legal kept him from being suspended for violating the league's drug policy. Look out, Minneapolis-St. Paul, here comes North Chicago's own Michael "The Burner" Turner to torch your team. The pick: Falcons.

-- Carolina Panthers at New York Giants: The Giants are playing the Vikings Dec. 28, so they have to lose to keep things interesting. The crystal ball rarely foresees uninteresting things. The pick: Panthers.

-- San Diego Chargers at Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Chuckie must also win to keep things interesting in the NFC. The pick: Bucs.