Bush's future: more than golf

Swami:

I have a friend -- let's just say his name is President George W. Bush -- who's going to be leaving his job next week. He's got a pretty good pension and all that stuff, but what else does the future hold for him? I mean, is there any chance he can succeed Bud Selig or something?

Anonymous in Crawford, Texas

Dear "Anonymous":

If the post-presidential careers of Nixon, Ford, Bush 41 and Clinton have taught us anything, it is that the United States has a seemingly limitless supply of golf courses.

If former presidents in general have taught us anything else, it is that even the most obscure spot on MapQuest is a candidate for a Presidential Library and Museum.

Oh, and let us not forget foundations. Ex-presidents are big on foundations. Other people call them tax shelters; retired politicians call them legacy-shapers.

So you -- or, rather, your friend George W. Bush -- has a lot of tee times, library blueprints and speaking engagements on the horizon. But let's turn to the crystal ball and be more specific:

Now former-president George W. Bush will make his first post-White House headline on Jan. 22, when he pops into a mom-and-pop Texas cafe for his first breakfast as a private, normal, everyday citizen, accompanied by the team of heavily armed Secret Service agents who will follow him the rest of his life ...

.. in or about July of 2010, following months of speculation about tell-all bombshells, Laura Bush's memoirs will hit bookstores and prove to be about as compelling and earth-shaking as, well, Laura Bush herself ...

... during the 2012 election season, Bush will offer to stump for the presumptive Republican candidate, and will patiently wait to see if and when she returns his phone calls ...

... prior to the Opening Ceremonies of the 2016 Chicago Olympics, Bush will join President Barack Obama and the other living former presidents (including but not limited to an ageless Bill Clinton) for a staged photo opportunity notable for both its history and its awkwardness ...

... and, in 2021, a 75-year-old Bush will finally complete and publish his long-awaited, long-delayed memoirs, entitled "I Know You Were, But What Was I?"