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In future news: Roland sits on it; "Slumdog" howls

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Today's headline: "Senate Democrats Expect To Seat Burris"

Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: "Anonymous Democrat Leaves Tack, Glue On Burris Seat"

Today's headline: "'Blizzard' Falls Short, But Another Storm Could Be On The Way"

Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: "Regional Weathermen Predict Weekend Plague Of Locusts"

Today's headline: "Bush To Make Farewell Speech On Thursday"

Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: "Nation Sorry, Would Really Like To Join Bush At Farewell Thing, But Has This Other Thing It Has To Do, Will Catch Up With Him Later"

Today's headline: "'Slumdog Millionaire' Wins Four Golden Globes in Oscar Preview"

Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: "All Five People Who Have Seen 'Slumdog Millionaire' Say You Really Need To See It Because Your Favorite Movies Are Lame"

Today's headline: "Smith To Take A More Hands-On Approach With Bears Defense"

Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: "Sports Radio Hosts, Long-Time Listeners, First-Time Callers United In Outrage Over Lovie Smith Crisis"


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