Today's headline: "Burris Plans 3-Point Stop In North Chicago"
Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: "North Chicago Visit Quashed As Burris Goes Into Hiding"
Today's headline: "'Friday The 13th' Scores Largest Horror-Film Debut"
Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: "New Sequels To New 'Friday The 13th' Scheduled For August, September, October"
Today's headline: "FAA Says Texas Fireball Was Meteor, Not A UFO"
Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: "Hundreds Of Local High School Graduates Who Never Took Physics Or Engineering Disagree With FAA On Texas Fireball Analysis"
Today's headline: "Presidential Rankings: Lincoln First Again; Buchanan Comes In Last; Bush Put At No. 36"
Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: "George W. Bush Issues Formal Sigh Of Relief"
Today's headline: "Red Sox Slugger David Ortiz Wants Season-Long Ban For Steroid Users"
Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: "Baseball Fans Await Season-Long Ban For Red Sox Slugger David Ortiz"
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