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In future news: the anti-major league team

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Today's headline: "Zion-Based Minor-League Team Can't Be Associated With MLB"

Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: "Zion Minor-League Team's Best Player Is Not Accused Of Using Steroids, Does Not Go On Strike"

Today's headline: "Sen. Leahy Proposes Truth Panel On Bush Policies"

Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: "Cheney Blows Nose On Leahy Subpoena"

Today's headline: "Marijuana Might Lead To Increased Risk Of Testicular Cancer"

Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: "Marijuana Smokers Hope, Pray This Testicular Cancer Thing Really Is A Bogus Conspiracy By The Man"

Today's headline: "Spokesman Says Octuplets Mom Receives Food Stamps"

Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: "Octuplets Mom Accepting Applications For New Spokesman"

Today's headline: "River Flood Warning for Lake County, IL"

Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: "Run For Your Lives"

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