Fox Lake officials will reveal that the mystery petroleum product found in Squaw Creek over the weekend was, in laymen's terms, "hot dog water" ...
... U.S. Sen. Roland Burris, his name now formally preceded by the word "embattled," will announce that Roland Burris also thinks he should resign, but he will not ...
... after enjoying a second week atop the U.S. box office charts by spanking the Jonas Brothers, "Madea Goes to Jail" will finally be undone by the hordes of fanboys waiting to storm the gates for "Watchmen" and then blog about how terrible it is ...
.. following the Cubs' 4-2 loss to the San Diego Padres in Cactus League play, Web-based sports columnists and radio talk hosts will issue their first calls for the firing of Lou Piniella ...
... and the 20-degree high temperatures witnessed between Friday and Monday will be the last such stretch until late November. Break out the shorts.
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